Is he a bisexual or just a gay who needs a woman for covere

Hello to all
I am 53 y old woman , I found my school mate on facebook, he lives in America and I am in Croatia, we started to chat and found out we had many things in common, later I started to feel something for him and he called me every night we talked for hours...One day he asked me to come to New York and he wanted to go with me to China on a business trip, I almost said yes! Two days after that he told me he was gay!! I was shocked because signals he gave me before were different.Then I told him I was so sorry and that he should have told me that in the first place because I had a totally different picture about it all.Two days after that he told me that he wanted to be in. a relationship with me because the soul is forever and a body in less important and that we could do this and that together and so on, I was schockeg again. Later he told me he was coming to our country in 1 months time and that he wants to loose weight because he wants me to like him..I am totally confused, is this man a bisexual or is he gay just looking for a cover woman? I have feelings for him.

Thank you very much and love to all

 

i'd say he's just confused.just be a good friend to him.it sounds like he needs one.

 

The guy is massively confused. But everyone is confused in his own way which makes it difficult for the rest of us to understand them.

I'd say that your friend may be acting on an irrational impulse. He has reconnected with someone from his past. He may not be too happy with his personal life at present and tends to believe that a blast from the past would be a panacea for all his issues.

I have met quite a few gay men who seem to be emotionally connecting to women only. He may be one of them. This does not necessarily make him a functioning bisexual.

If you want to have a seemingly sexless relationship with a guy who you may be connecting with on different levels, give it a chance.

Frankly, I would not view this kind of relationship as very stable and lasting. If you agree that we all live in present and that we should try to make the best out of it... this sort of alternative relationship/friendship may make sense.

If you are looking for a life-long, full commitment, you may want to look somewhere else.

KD

 

Just take a step back and listen to yourself. Listen to what you are saying.

You are talking about having feelings, that you have a lot in common.....and yet if there is not going to be any sex, you what, you dont want anything to do with him???

This is why straight and gay guys alike end up getting fed up with you all. All this fake talk about love, romance, feelings, compatibility or my personal favourite 'communication' yada yada when you're just after a man thats going to get between your legs every night.


How do you think your reaction is going to seem like to him? He's spent the last however long, chatting, being friendly, thinking he has a new friend, sharing your lives......only for it to end with Huh? You're gay, oh so your not going to have sex with me? ok, well it was nice knowing you Bye.

 

Thankyou

 

your welcome

 

So the only difference between a friendship and relationship is sex?

 

What do you do with a romantic partner that you dont do with a good friend?
You talk to a friend, you can even live with a friend..

Please advise, maybe I am not aware


Thank you for your interest in my situation

Regards
Marriah

 

Well The man is finally here and what happens???
he tells me that he has to take cocaine when he has sex with other gay guy to overcome the guilt complex in this s situation.. that he feels inaduqate with his homosexuality..
so he needs a relationship with a woman to cure his guilt complex and for cover up..

 

The fact that he is clearly uncomfortable with his attraction to men, and hasn't come to terms with it means you should definitely tread carefully. Many gay people, especially men, enter relationships with the opposite sex knowing deep down inside it's not what they really want, it's just to cover up their homosexuality.

You should be there for him as a friend, but for now at least, I wouldn't become intimately involved with him. As he could just be looking for a heterosexual relationship, because he can't yet admit to himself that he is gay, and wants to cover it up.

 

so did you guys meet?

 

yes this week
I like him a lot but am realistic that he is gay
He in my opinion hates himself for being gay he says he is weird and that his life is complicated because of that so he wants to be with a women
he makes plans with me for the future although last week he had a sexy party with a gay guy he found on the internet????
He also tried to hug and kiss me but that was so fake I could feel that...
I think that he is very lonely and unhappy, did not find any lasting relationship in a gay world and he wants to be with somebody so he found me as a second best choice..
Honestly I think he should find a gay man not a woman...

 

Well thats not going to happen either.

By the sounds of it, he doesnt sound like a guy I would label gay....its not the same thing as a guy thats known what he is from a kid and had boyfriends from teens to throughout adult life....Trouble is you never get to see them, compare them to ones like your friend the same age to be able to see the difference. One of the reasons you dont get to see them is they wont go anywhere near guys like this, or their friends

I'm assuming he's around your age, so gets to his 50s all of a sudden bored with everything else, or has trouble with certain things, decides he wants to do extra kinky stuff with other guys....but cant do this with any social interaction , so sneaks around on the web, or seedier meeting places

Just because someone says something out loud, doesnt mean its true, doesnt mean its actually what they believe.

He needs Cocaine for the guilt? Thats bullshit, thats pretty much the same as trying to say One takes Viagra for the guilt. You take either cos the sex is better. He just says it that way to get sympathy from you.

And guilt about what exactly. Just because he tells you he's guilty about having sex with guys, doesnt mean he is.

What if that 'guilt' is more about having to admit that things just arent working properly anymore, that guilt is really about performance anxiety. Or guilt about non sex stuff, going out in public holding hands with a guy cos he didnt spend any of the last 40 years having to deal with how to handle everbody else.

He hugs and kisses you and it feels so fake?....cos he knows he cant take it any further, it would just be a lot of him standing around trying to get hard...which would make you feel like crap .....but its the same when he's with a guy, just that another guy isnt going to take it anywhere near as personally, especially if its another guy with the same problem.


I might be wrong, I dont know him, but there are waaaay too many guys like this past a certain age, you just get a whole bunch of garbage when its really about just being bored or their manhood doest work anymore. You say he seems lonely, thats probably more to do with that loss of manhood. They dont fit in with the gays, dont fit in with the straights anymore, just left to sneak around with others like them

50s and gay, they are hosting dinner parties with their boyfriend and friends, off to dinner, museums and the theatre...and they know not to fuck with a womans feelings like this,

This is not gay its something else and my advice is to stay away, just going to be bigger trouble down the track

 

Today we met
he again said that we get so well along and are so compatible that we should be in a realtionship( not just friendship) without sex and that I should come to New Yorka and so on...
I honestly dont understand why he needs that..
yes maybe just age and not having caring relat. with a gay, so mother or sister figure is a better option...

 

I must tell you something
I am fed up with this weird guy who is in fact crazy
I am a normal woman and I want a normal straight man and this one should find a gay partner
thanks everyone for advices....

 

The great finale of this crazy story is that mr Gay told me this evening about the real problem between us and that is my actual boyfriend...
I cant beleive how people can be crazy
God help us all...

 

Errr....what?

actual boyfriend?....Do you mean while all this was going on you had a boyfriend?

 

I thought "she" sounded like a troll after about the 4th post. Or as I inferred, it's actually "him" and can't be himself even behind a monitor.

 

I had doubts ,and I truly don't know what to think! I'm in relationship with a gay guy very hairy and very masculine for a last 5 years and he 's very nice with me. . he says that he 's 100 pecent gay ,and he would never sleep with woman and that he never did.but he told me that he had dream fucking a woman,and always when we are outside he checking out girls ,sometimes even with comments like look at her tits or look she has open legs you can see her pussy etc...I catch him couple of times flirting with womans in restaurant .we eating and he keep looking the same girl more then 10 times ... What that mean? Do i 'm just jealous or is something going on here?