Interesting thought...personal confusion.

Do any of you think love at first sight can happen/start between two children?
I doubt it personally but what's causing me confusion is this long-standing crush I've been trying to suppress for over 12 years on this girl since I was six, she being 1 at the time. Back then I can remember the feeling towards her wasn't lustful or anything like that, but rather a really strong bond of trust and comfort when around her.

Throughout the course of roughly 15 years we remained in each other's orbits growing up because my extended family is friends with her family. Over time when puberty hit both of us the fond feelings I had/have for her also took new life when sexual attraction got mixed in. I've come to the conclusion that I do care for her very much but haven't told her because I'm afraid of the family's reaction of both her's and mine. I'm also scared of her reaction as well.

So during all this time I tried to ignore the crush all this time and have dated others without the age gap issue that I have with this girl but alas I still care for her. Should I tell her in 2 years when she turns 18 or harbor this crush longer in secret?

Advice appreciated

FYI: I know for a fact that she's single and straight at the moment and so am I. I don't know if that'll be the case for her in 2 years time.

 

Ok, umm I've noticed this topic has about at least 25+ views that didn't come from me checking up on this topic.

Did I post this in the wrong section for advice or do people just not know what to say? This post is not a joke and is serious.

 

I think you could do something in the middle, like maybe make it clear to her that you are quite fond of her and that you will see her in a couple of years

 

Hmm yeah I guess...there really is no way to tell her and not make it awkward between our two families.

I think for now I'll dial up the flirting and see how she responds when I see her at our family's Christmas gatherings.

Ultimately in the long run I might have to keep at moving on to someone else and crush this crush of conflict in my head.

 

only thing you can really do is dial up the flirting, like you said. if she responds negatively, for whatever reason, just blame it on the eggnog! lol

good luck and have a merry christmas!

 

"dial up the flirting" ... with a 16 year old girl?

Without knowing you, that sounds like a creeper thing to do.

 

If you take it the wrong way, and assume I'm not keeping my hands to myself, sure I guess it's creepy, but I have no plans flirting that way.

I'll probably just use some witty banter, and see how she responds. We're already friends so I don't think it'll be that awkward since we've all known each other since we were little.

If anything those bonds are what I'm afraid of breaking.

Also, I should point out that the age gap between us won't be that big of a deal as we get older. It's only weird now because at the current time the age gap crosses the minor/adult line....which is why I was considering just telling her when she's an adult if I still feel the crush 2 years from now.

 

you know what? i don't think it's weird at all. you feel a connection there and you're curious to see where that goes. you're also, in a way, willing to wait for her. however, you have to make sure that she's up to par with you, as far as maturity level. im sure that you would want someone that you've been interested in for so long to be able to handle the type of relationship you want quite well, i assume.

i think this is kind of romantic. BUT you still can't loose sight on reality and no matter how she responds to your flirting now, you would still have to wait for her to be of age to be able to do something about it. just try to look at the bigger picture and keep in your back pocket the fact that she might not be what you expect her to be.

i hope you understand what i'm trying to say! regardless, good luck.

 

just to know, how old are you?

if the age gap isnt that of a big deal, you shouldnt 'supress your crush' or whatever, go for her!

 

Thanks for the support Vixxen I appreciate it. And yeah I think you can tell I'm a realist for the most part. The bigger picture is not something I can even ignore, it's probably why I made this post was because I'm well aware of this tricky situation. I'm not about to start physical anything, knowing the risks.

Regardless of how things go in the next couple of days, I've come to the conclusion that I love her enough no matter what the outcome, and can settle as long as I know she's safe and happy.

I should make it clear that even now, the strongest of the emotions I have toward her is one of protective kind of love, is that a bad thing? My heart tells me it's not as long as I'm not controlling or manipulating, which I'm not.
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Edit: Almost forgot someone asked how old I was, I'll just say I'm in my early 20's and less than 24.

 

UPDATE: Well another year passes and I ended up not really doing anything about this. Don't get me wrong we had a lot of fun at the Christmas party playing dancing games on the game console, presents, and good food, but other than that not much to tell.

It's hard to flirt with someone when everyone else is around watching. (bit of info. I left out in my above posts, my family is a bit prudish so the fear of their judgement is kind of a big issue for me)

 

alright, im considerating that youre 23

so, when she turns 18 you'll be 25, no big deal for me, totally ok