Hello, I am new to this forum.. And I have been a closeted lesbian since I was 14 when I first started to have relationships with women. I am now 20 years old and still closeted, I have been thinking about coming out but I am scared out of my wits! I have no idea how to go about this, who should I come out to first, friends, family? Absolutely noone in my life knows that I am a lesbian or that I have had past relationships with women....(unless I had relationships with them) I am really scared. I want to come out becuase I am sick of friends trying to set me up with guys, and I am so sick of being hounded as to why I have never had a boyfriend. plus the burden has become much to stressful. so anyways I would appreciate some advice as how to go about this process and what I should expect etc.. Thanks
try telling your most trusted friends first, i just came out to my family, and honestly they already knew. pick your friends that are the least judgmental, then ease your way into everyone else. it feels good to just be yourself.
Thankyou for your input . When you came out was there an awkward vibe the next time you saw these people? I am slightly worried that there will always be an elephant in the room...
When I came out to my friends there was no awkward moment. They were actually really proud of me for having the courage to do so. If they are truely your friends, they won't judge you on who you're attracted to.
I once read a poem written by a young girl, who had been brought up in a very religious family and was tormented by her lesbian sexuality, which she was trying to deny, because of the condemnation she would receive from her family if her true persona were revealed. She was on the verge of suicide, the poem chocked me up completely and I, who am now seventy, broke down in tears to hear of the hell that she had gone through. I am glad to say, that today she has learned that the only pathway to inner peace is to be true to "WHO YOU ARE" who was in the very beginning and has evolved to become "Who She is today."
It depends on your relationship with your parents. If you feel like they will understand - come out to them. In my opinion though it's always easier to come out to friends first. And, trust me, if they are indeed your good friends they probably already now. I didn't even have to come out to my friends, they just KNEW. It surprised the heck out of me, but it just meant they were indeed my close friends. No one knows your parents better than you do. How do you think they will take it? The answer to that question should shape your approach to the situation. If you have any gay friends, talk to them about their coming out stories, or read some online. To be honest, all of my friends know about me, but my family still does not. And I know that I don't want to come out to them until there's a person in my life worth upsetting the shit out of my family. I know they will still love me, but I also know that my mom is extremely old-fashioned and she will be upset and blame herself. And I'm okay with waiting. Oh wow that's a long one haha I hope this helps.
definitely your best friend. the person you know wont judge you and support you no matter what. once u tell one person it will get easier. family is hard. ive never really done it, except my sister. the rest have either asked me or we dont talk about it but i know they know. goodluck
I used to be uncomfortable with women (or how to approach them) all the time. But now I say the heck. Life's too damned short to worry about that. So I nearly went nude on the beach daytime and a few girls didn't mind it. Next time I'll go to the beach I'll just come up to them and ask if I can kiss them from the legs on up. If they slap me or call me any name in the world - that's fine with me ! Call me a whore lesbian , slut, weirdo or whatever they want. I'll just try the next group and see if they're interested.
I am a closet lesbian and I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not affecting me in any way because I know who I am. Only my closet friends know, and I still have relationships with women.
