Well for those of you that read my last thread and gave me feedback, thank you, I needed it. I had my first appointment with my Psychiatrist today and he's great! I also put a lock on my bank account so I can't withdraw cash for a few months only debit card. I've been doing some reflecting and realized that my life has become work for little money all week and do drugs on the weekend, so I'm heading back to school part time in January, seeing a therapist twice a week, and easing back into the life I've been tearing apart. Quick note: Since I've taken sobriety from everything I've been getting dreams for the first time in years, they are really intense and I often wake up sweating. Is this common? And does anyone know when it may end?
Awesome man, I didn't comment but I read that post. Not sure about the sweating, unless you're having nightmares. But the dreams are normal, especially if you're coming off drugs like weed, alcohol and an assortment of other shit - it's called REM rebound, it means you're getting a proper nights sleep If I were you I'd start trying to remember these dreams instead of wanting them to go. Keep a notepad next to your bed and note down all that you can remember about them. You'll soon see recurring patterns/objects/people/places that pop up in your dreams which may mean absolutely nothing, or can help you get a different but positive perspective on your life. From there, as Lotus said in the last post - you can work on Lucid Dreaming. You spend 1/3 of your life asleep - so get lucid and start having some serious fun Go sick though, wish you the best :2thumbsup:
Were you a chronic weed smoker? I feel like quitting weed causes very intense, nightmarish dreams. Good luck dude. Putting that lock on your checking account was a good idea and really shows your committed to this life style change. I hope you find what you're looking for; I'm sure you will.
I woke up this morning without an alarm, an extremely rare occurrence for me, and felt slightly motivated to get shit done without having to pop an upper or get stoned to just "deal with it." It's not much, but a start. I've been absurdly hungry all day today too, no matter how much I eat. I did lose a lot of weight from doing a shit ton of stims, guess thats the reason why. I started writing down my dreams today too. I'm gonna make a post somewhere if get some recurring things. Is there a dreams forum here?
Sounds really good man! The dreaming thing is a sign of your serotonin system re-balancing with the new lack of drugs in your brain; it will affect all sorts of things like mood, sleep, hunger, libido . . .
Hi. I am glad to hear that you not only have a plan, but also seem optimistic about your future. Although psychotherapists, in my experience, are hit-and-miss, when you have a GOOD one, it is incredibly helpful. Not in an obvious way where you have "aha" moments on their couch, but more of just subtle ways you look at your environment differently over time. What medications does the psychiatrist want to put you on? I have taken nearly all psychiatric meds (seriously, I have taken about 35 of them), so I can tell you how they affected me.
The meds I'm being put on are Lexapro - 20mg 1xdaily, Seroquel - 100mg at bedtime, & I'm being temporarily taken off my Vyvanse until college kicks back up in January.
Hey if anyone who read this is interested, after 4 days of actually trying to have one, I had my first lucid dream last night. The report is in the dreams forum.
That is not too dissimilar to what I take: Effexor, Zyprexa, and Vyvanse (plus a few more that aren't as important honestly). And that combination works well. It took like 12 years to find a combination that worked for me, but it does help a ton. I also must disclose that I take Suboxone, an opioid, which undoubtably helps my mood. But I am scripted a very low dose of it.
For mood? That's unique I never have heard of that before. If you don't mind me asking was there ever an official diagnosis for you? I'll share mine: G.A.D (Went to inpatient for a month of intense exposure therapy for it, worked quite well), Depression obviously, insomnia, and a few doctors said I'm symptomatic of BPD (Boderline Personality Disorder)
I, personally, would say you should treat the reasons for your personality problems, and not take perminant chemical solutions for them.... etkearne reeeally needs his meds, I think you just need to go it easy and stop thinking about drugs in the way you do/have. (ie. getting stoned to "deal with" things... good god) I would suggest MDMA to help with introspection, but with you, this is obviously a very poor idea, not to mention that I doubt it has any remaining capacity to help you, after your abuse of it. So at this point I would prescribe a high dose of mushrooms, LSD, or DMT. And I would prescribe that said dose be taken after appropriate research and understanding and with a good trusted sitter or two in an appropriately safe setting, but that you do NOT work up with doses-simply jump in. MAPS has an interesting handbook on the theraputic use of LSD.
I would second a moderately strong psychedelic experience as well. I had about 15 sessions with 2C-I a year and a half ago and it really made a positive impact on changing my destructive personality traits especially how I choose to react to society. Like RooR said, I have a slightly different disorder though, as a large part of mine is schizophrenic in nature (Schizoaffective Disorder). I do take Suboxone for my mood, but it is very off-label and not covered by my insurance. But I feel the most important things to switching my mind around were the Zyprexa, the Vyvanse, and most importantly, self-exploration through traditional one on one psychotherapy as well as personal reading of psychological literature, philosphical debates with close friends, and just questioning why I was reacting in certain ways while evaluating the objective merits of my reactions. It really takes all of the available angles to treat a mental condition that is severe like I have, and sounds like you have (albeit yours sounds slightly more mood oriented than mine).
I see. Well as of now I'll continue with seeing my psychiatrist a bit. I like the whole lucid dreaming thing and have been very active with that and my dream journal. Although, I think I would like to do some self-exploration with LSD, mushrooms, and etc. As I've had very little experience with them in the past (or not in combo with MDMA). This would be after I feel content with how long I've stayed sober. Any opinions on which to start with? And I feel staying away from Bud even longer than psychedelics might be a good idea as well?
Cannabis has addictive properties that psychedelics do not have, so I would steer clear of Cannabis longer. Cannabis dis-inhibits dopamine in the VTA and Nucleus Accumbens in the brain-- the same mechanism that euphoria from opioids is gained. Psychedelics don't act on dopamine flow in the VTA so they aren't addictive. As for which to start with, I have only tried 2C-I out of convenience since I don't have drug connections and it is semi-legal and easily purchasable. I am sure a different psychedelic would be preferable. Someone knowledgeable in that area should post.
I've never taken it, but 2C-I is supposed to be a rather legitimate psychedelic. Some of the DOx chemicals are also purchasable online, as far as psychedelic phenethylamines go. But I'm not sure those are as useful for that type of thing, at all, even though they're quality chemicals, to be sure. I would suggest LSD. And I would suggest starting with sitters and a reasonably medium high dose. Working up slowly basically allows you to become comfortable with the problems that the drug is supposed to force you to work through, effectively suppressing them further and compounding the problem.
For introspection I'd rather go for mushrooms, because on every trip I've had on shrooms I've always been forced into looking at myself from a different perspective. I haven't had much experience with acid, but from what I've experienced(not being used to the "flavour" of trip) it's easy to get caught up with the pretty colours and dancing walls. Shrooms don't give you a choice of what to think about, so if something is bothering you a lot it'll be pushed to the front of your mind... or it won't. The fun part is integrating your "revelations"(however small) into your normal lifestyle. I must say though, drug treatment of any sort can't guarantee anything - so carry on and see how you respond to the sober state of mind
