Below is an entry to a journal which I never kept. I just needed something written down. November 15, 2011 I smoked salvia for the first time today. I've been reading about psychedelics for a while now and I believed this was exactly what I needed to discover myself. It was all very intriguing. I sat down at a corner sofa and prepared for the unknown journey. I hesitated for a minute before I torched it. Took a massive hit off the bong and held it in my lungs while positioning myself in safe distance from sharp or breakable objects. What happened next was scary. I entered this very strange dimension where things do not make sense. Nothing made sense. I didn't know who I was or what I was doing here. I freaked out. It took a while before I even realized I smoked salvia. It was then I was able to calm myself down. Up to this point was indeed scary but what followed was truly profound. I will describe the trip as accurately as possible and by writing this journal entry I hope to record what I have learned from it. I don't feel anything I thought to myself as I held the smoke in. It hit me almost instantly as I exhaled with disgust at how thick the smoke is compared to that of weed. I was looking at the clock when the high creeped up on me. Everything was spiralling into the vortex fading away leaving only trails. Now came the most scariest experience in my entire life. I didn't know who I was or where I was. Total amnesia. I started screaming where am I and what the f is happening. I ran away from the vortex in my mind and visually I was hanging on to the sofa chair in front of me like a cliff to a deadly fall. It was then I started seeing glimpses of my sofa chair. It was familiar. I tried to grab it but it would fade away into the vortex. I saw it. I knew what was going on. I was tripping out! I was trying to grasp reality as I held my breath for time to pass. After a few failed attempts I was able to catch the fading chair and pull myself up. The vortex instantly stopped. There was no more visuals except minor distortion that lasts a few more minute. This was about three minutes which felt like hours. What followed is a bliss of reality coming together with these moments of a-ha. In trying to answer questions like who am I, what am I doing here, I was able to discover myself. And when I realized who I am, frankly it wasn't all that depressing. It helped me see that all negatives in my life weren't negatives at all. It helped me see the errors in my life and how easily I can fix them. The traces of visuals went away in about ten minutes into the trip. Salvia turned out to be very scary but also profoundly enlightening. It helped me discover myself in many ways. I hope what I have learned from this experience builds on itself and provides me a brighter future as a better man.
