When is enough, enough?

Yeah. Everyone finds certain things more addictive than other people. Amphetamines solve so many problems associated with the side effects of the antipsychotic I must take for sanity. They give me energy and motivation to live. I don't think I could go without them. Opioids, while still having me addicted in the strict sense, seem to draw me in a little "less" than amphetamines do.

 

I'm new here but wanted to reply to your post. You say you have been on suboxone...have you thought about doing sub maintenance? Some people benefit from doing the maintenance especially if you have relapsed alot in the past and or feel you will relapse again.

I know some people think well if I'm on subs then I'm not clean but others think it is better then riding the roller coaster opiates offer ya know? You can take a few mg of subs a day or you can wake up sick until you get your fix and then worry how to keep from getting sick again.

 

Luscious Angel im not positive who your post is refering to but if its me I am on a maintenance plan with a doctor for subs. I used to think if I was on subs I wasnt really clean but I now realize that I am clean. Ive changed my life for the better in every aspect and dont abuse the subs. Theyve made my life better all the way around. So I consider myself 100% clean from mood altering drugs.

ET, I agree drugs effect each of us different. If it works and helps you like that then those are the drugs you need. Glad you found the answer....

 

I empathise with you ET, pyschological issues are painful in a whole different way than physical pain. When I was 16 I went to a psychiatrist because I was having severe psychological issues (100% certain it was due to the MASSIVE amounts of E, shrooms, acid and mescaline I was doing), he diagnosed me with temporary psychosis. I was "perma-tripping" from all the hallucinogens. It took me a long time and many prescription later before I started to recover. I also had crippling deppression and opiates really did seem like a "cure-all" for me as well.

I've battled the depression for a long long time, and for now I can definitely say I haven't felt depressed in quite a while, let's hope I continue to feel good.

 

Oh ok I see..

You said you think you may relapse but I know with the subs for about 3-5 days after your last sub you wont feel any opiates if you were to take them. Hopefully that would keep you from thinking about relapsing

 

Yea your right I just get a sick feeling in the back of my head sometimes that makes me think its possible and of coarse its a real possibility thats what makes me a addict. Ive taken hugh steps with the subs and with all my counselling and I defintly no how to get them sick feelings outa my head easier now and I never ever wanna relapse again. But as a addict I am aware that the possibility is always their for as long as I live. Im actually better then ive been ever since I started using and believe I got some tools today to keep me for relapsing!! Basically I still get sick thoughts every now and then and they tell me I can use sucessfully the next time but I do no that is total bullshit!!! Thanks for the concern though your right working with a doctor is the best way to do it with subs, the counselling is so valuable.

 

Sup SirItchAlot?!

You know the thoughts will happen, and you know personally that they do get less frequent as time goes by and you keep adding days and days to your sobriety. This sounds incredibly cliche: When I was in group therapy for probation they told me that whenever I get those thoughts to get high I should "play the tape through". In other words, think about what will happen if you screw up and relapse, think about those hard days, weeks, and months you went through of difficult sobriety. Just thinking about that makes me realize that I would be tossing away a lot just for the sake of getting high again.

I KNOW for a FACT that if I were to ever relapse again I would be filled with an incredible amount of shame and regret immediately, and I know you would too. Back when you made that thread 9-10 months ago, you told me that my feelings to use will get less frequent as time goes by and you were 100% right! I don't have those thoughts very often anymore. And when I do, I "Play that tape" and it always deters me from even considering it.

Have a good night man and take it easy.

-Eggo

 

EK, your right. I dont get the thoughts as often as I used to. I get crazy dreams sometimes though. I wake up and have to think really hard if I used or not. Thats just the disease at work. I like the method of playing the tape through. Something ive also started doing alot of is meditating. If I get crazy thoughts it just helps me clear my head back to reality. I just look at the sky and get lost in it. If I see a bird I just follow him and it helps me anyway.

 

I made a very big decision today. I am going on suboxone. I'm calling tomorrow to see when I can get in and I'm scared shitless

 

LG, don't be scared. It's been the best thing I've done since active addiction. If your truly ready to be free of dope it will work. The counseling has helped me figure alot of things out so I highly recommend you get some with the subs. Theirs free counseling out their if your doctor don't offer it. (like NA/AA) it's not for alot of people though. Do you have insurance? It can be a little expensive without it especially the first month but to me it's cheaper then what I was doing. If you have to start on a high dose it's easy to taper down to about 4mg's. After 4 it gets a little tougher. I tapered down as soon as I could just so I didn't have to buy as many subs to make it cheaper. If the doctor puts you on the films be sure and get a coupon for them, I think the 1 they have now is $75 off. It's a little something anyway. If your doctor don't have any go to the "here to help" website and you can print one their. Also check out this site as well "addiction survivors" it's for people on subs and you'll learn alot about them their from real patients such as me. If you like it and join let me no and I'll get you my name and support you here or their. I go to both places daily pretty much. It's gonna change your life for the better so don't be nervous be happy!

Let me no how it turns out. I wish you the best.

Joe

 

I was told I wont get into a doctor for a few weeks and I just can't wait that long. I have a friend that is sending me 4 of the strips. I will have them friday morning. I want to do a quick 7 day taper.

I have a few vics right now to try and get me through thanksgiving but they are only helping for an hour at the most. My anxiety is through the roof and on top of that my marriage is ending. So all this at once is killing me. Thank you I will check that site out!!