Help! :-(

Hi everyone. This is my first post so please be gentle with me!

I recently came off of antidepressents which had pretty much killed my sex drive. Now I'm off them and my sex drive still hasn't come back. I have a boyfriend who is supportive but this is starting to really get me down because I used to love sex. I used to be quite a kinky bitch (so I have been told) Now it feels like I just can't get that part of my mind and body to 'switch on'.

Suggestions?

 

get a better boyfriend

 

I think you misread. My boyfriend is supportive. It's the medication and trauma in my life that has killed my drive and now I don't know how to get it back

 

If you just recently went off the anti depressants i would give it a few more weeks. It's not gonna come back super quickly

 

I think it's been nearly a couple of months now :-( I can't help thinking me and my boyfriend need to be doing something to help it come back. Like try new things or something. But I don-t know what.

 

Hancuff him to a bed and take advantage of him.
idk

 

Haha that's one possibility. I used to do stuff like that a lot with an ex years ago. Doing something new would be good. Any other suggestions?

 

ummmmm shower sex? bath sex?
outdoor sex?

 

I think this link may hold a key to help unlock your psychic chastity belt.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphrodisiac

 

My showe and bath are really small so that's a fail. My bf suggested watching porn together. Might try it.

Thanks for the link. Was thinking about trying ginseng

 

sex on a beach

 

I went through a tough time and was on antidepressants and was in therapy. Not the best time of my life. I can relate to what you're going through. Some of it might be mental. Have you tried masturbating alone? It's less intimidating than trying to perform for a guy. You can control how and where you're stimulated. Once you get comfortable with yourself, it's easier to relax with somebody else.

Hang in there. I know it's frustrating.

 

Try Making Love in it's tenderest forms, and then in time the physical side of Sex will in time follow - meThinks

 

Learn to enjoy giving blowjobs. Even if you arent in the mood for actual vaginal sex sometimes a blowjob or a handjob can get you off the hook for not being in the mood at that moment. I'm not saying that you should be forced into it or force yourself to do it but it can be a good compromise when you arent in the mood but he is.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

I am ok doing it on my own and can cum. It's not regular in the way it used to be though.

I do actually like giving head anyway tbh

 

I've heard it can take a month or 2 to get he drugs fully out of your system.

But 1 thing I want to add is to turn off your mind, I think you are too focused on trying to re-live what you had before, you aren't focusing on the now.

Easier said then one I know......

 

Goofy is right.

It takes time.

I'm not so sure it's necessarily the meds, as the very fact that you suffer from depression. Trust me on this, it changes you ... for ever.

Once you have suffered depression, nothing will ever be the same again. Trying to recover what you once had is futile/ You've got to start from where you are, with what you've got, and build on that.

You've got a BIIIIG positive going for you ... which is that your BF is still there for you. That's waaaay more than many sufferers can claim.

BUT (and I speak from bitter experience here) while you were suffereing, you were probably so wrapped up in yourself that you didn't notice the effect it was having on him, too. The two of you need to go right back to basics,

Depression has changed you. It always does. So your relationship will inevitbaly change, too. Which means that you both need to rediscover the other ... and find out how you can fire each othe rup the way you used to, even though you're no longer the person you used to be.

I'm not going to say that' seasy. If I did, I'd be lying. It's gonna be hard. VERY hard. For both of you.

BUT ... holfd on to the positives. You're both still there for each other. You both still WANT to be there for each other. That makes me confident that you'll pull through this together.

Big hug for you both from me.

Becky


p.s. just be glad they didn't give you Seroxat. I was one of the Seroxat guinea pigs. It was NOT nice ....

 

Thanks goofy and beachball. Yes depression has certainly changed me, for the better I hope. It has made of a stronger person. Yes also I think I am overthinking things. It's just that I love sex and I miss the feelings of passion (aside from the obvious missed pleasure). But I think it is having a negative effect on our relationship. My bf isn't the most confident in bed either so that means it's kind of down t me to sort I out.

 

And reading this I can tell you are putting too much pressure on yourself.

 

Yeah I probably am. But I don't know how else to go about it. Like this evening my bf was out and I was texting him about sex and the combination of that and other things got me a bit turned on. But when he got home nothing happened and from how we were talking it was supposed to. It felt like I had battled to keep myself in the mood for an hour for nothing. Now I feel shitty when things were looking hopeful before