Being a very open and forgiving extrovert...

I feel like my personality is being taken advantage of as of late. Lazy ass fucks who respond when they 'think it's important.' Assuming I'm going to be their guppy go-to friend that's always around despite their total lack of enthusiasm in the relationship.

(People who sit next to you and don't say JACK SHIT, unless you command and take lead of the entire conversation -- goood goooaaaawd how is that normal or fair in one's oblivious little mind??).

Anyone in the same boat? I'm about to cut some people off. :daisy:

 

if they don't always respond when you talk and dont do much in the relationship, maybe they dont want any relationship at all... if they dont do any effort for the relationship, it isnt worth having one with them anyway.. cut them off

 

do you realize how annoying it is when you're trying to think and some guy next to you who is afraid of being silent for 5 seconds just won't stop gibbering about crap nobody could possibly care about?

how is it normal or fair to force an introvert to constantly be social every waking moment, even though it's exhausting to them?

 

^ not like I speak nonsense. And the topics I do bring up, they (person in specific) are always eager to share and talk about. Contrary to your exaggerated scenario, I take time to think about what's relevant and what that person would like to get off their chest... it just never comes back with this specific kid. Do you know how f'n rude that feels?

I shouldn't need to make this thread again, if I do it goes in the whiners forum, but fuck If I'm gonna give all me love and be taken for granted by a couple people.

 

Stop being needy or let them go.

 

Cut them off!

 

your topics might be ok, but some people are just... not the talking/socializing type, you know, may be they's not being rude (the way they see it), they just dont really want to talk to you... not saying youre annoyin, maybe theyre just the quiet type..?

anyway you should cut em off then...

 

You should have a very thoughtful and long conversation with them about it.

 

I don't think you should make the decision to cut a friend off. friendship just happens its not a decision. You don't say I'm going to be friends with this person, but not this one... If you talk less maybe you are just growing apart, its a part of life. Just chill, let life happen. IMO you're over thinking it. chill chill chill deep breath, let it happen.
I hope that makes sense.
But really don't cut them off. If anything just put less into it and see where it goes.

 

sure, right, right, by cut off i meant, you know, stop putting so much into that guy, dont force things...

 

Sadly that happens far more often than the reverse, when you’re stuck with some guy who just won’t shut the fuck up because he loves to hear the sound of his own voice.


Hotwater

 

i really doubt these kind of people who are like that, talk that much because they like their own voice, you see, maybe theyre just like the OP .. trying to be friendly...

 

hey baby... fancy coming back to my pla...!?!??!?!?!

YOU'RE A FUCKING DUDE!!!!!?????
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sorry but I believe in the philosophy that if you don’t have anything constructive to say then don’t say anything.

Hotwater

 

By their actions people show what's really important to them. There isn't a single thing anyone else is going to be able to do about that. If someone doesn't want to talk or hang out they aren't going to. There's nothing anyone can do that will "make" them feel or believe any differently. Complaining about it won't accomplish anything positive.

It's entirely your prerogative whether or not that is a deal breaker. For me, whenever I've been "hurt" by the perceived indifference of a friend, it's invariably my own misunderstanding of the individual as well as the nature of the friendship that is at the core of my problem and not something the other person might do or say. I do not recommend cutting anyone off but moving on seems a good suggestion. If your friendship is valuable to the other person then he/she will approach you. Otherwise you're not missing out on much so don't waste your energy.

 

My wife and I don't talk as much as some people, and we are both compatible in that area. I think if two people are going to live together, they need to be conversationally compatible. Sometimes we have conversations about something we want to talk about, and sometimes we don't talk. Why say something just for the sake of saying something? And I would have to say, it is not really necessary to be friends with people you hate. I mean really, if you don't like them, why pretend to? That is hypocrisy. So if you like to talk a lot, and it irritates you when the person you are with doesn't like to talk so much, get up on your horse and leave. I would rather have one true friend than a dozen people who pretend to like me and don't really.

 

Hah, thanks for the single vote of confidence
I'll be taking the advice from this thread. Can't force it if this is where the friendship is headed.

Trust me guys, I used to rant with the best of them when I was younger (25 now). I rarely if ever get mushy and over-do it nowadays, but I've known this guy for 4+ years so I was hoping he'd be more receptive.

I helped this kid get over his biggest heart brake yet, have partied with him countless times. It's unfortunate I suppose our personalities are so different that it is now possibly too exhausting on his end.

I hope he "man's up" and approaches to fix the relationship himself, but he's just not the pro-active type. It didn't really happen last time, and I'm guessing it won't happen this time.

Imaginary being, yes I have a penis. Can I still has fun sexy time? :gorgeous:

 

Introvert here, I have no idea what you two talk about but he could be more of a listener than a talker. Perhaps when you were helping him out the roller coaster ride he was on probably reached the ending point - believe me, those rides are killer on introverts and maybe he's in his resting stage, introvert hibernation and all that.

It may not even be about any of what you noted. After his hibernation he may start talking your head off again.

 

He has stated that a lot -- a listener more than a talker (tho he'll talk if you ask the right questions). But I think he also he assumes I love talking, or I'm okay with leading the conversation since I'm so "outgoing." But in reality, I've done that SO much that by now I wish the reverse would happen -- for me to be able to sit back and for others to take that role.

Hence, me personality being "taken for granted."

There's a myers briggs ESFP vs INTP joke somewhere in there...

 

Sometimes being able to read how receptive another person is at a given time can be a blessing when you are an extrovert.

There are times when I chatter away like a magpie and then others when I am more like a clam.

Too much chatter tends to make others uncomfortable and sometimes a bit of silence can be a very comfortable place to be.