Do your or your partner have "old friends privileges?"

In your current relationship are you or your partner free to fuck someone they had sex with before? My gf sees her ex, who is a friend of both of us, when they want to get together, which is about twice a month. When she asked me I said it's not like they never had sex before and they went together before she and I did, so I didn't see any problem in it if it doesn't affect our relationship. There's nobody else I want to fuck right now, but she says if I do, all she wants is to know the person. She knows a lot of my exes.

What do you think? Is this a reasonable thing to do?

 

It truly depends on the relationship between you and your partner.

Me and my gf have been going out for almost a year. In college, we were occasional fuck buddies (we were definitely not exclusive then). Last year, we became fuck buddies and decided to have an open relationship while I was in the other part of the country. She most definitely hooked up with a few ex flings. I hooked up with an ex as well. Now that we live together, we have spoken about continuing an open relationship and maybe even getting into the full swinging lifestyle. If we do so, I think we could be open about possibly hooking up with our exes as long as we knew no other feelings would arise.

 

Have you ever asked your self why shes doing that? Jeez if my girl was doing that i'd want to know why and also if he's your friend he's taking advantage

 

Tell her you're ready to fuck one of your exes and see what she says.

 

She's kind of a free spirit and they both go to Dead concerts. I had to work that weekend and I'm not much into Dead anyway. They both like weed, too, and I'm not much into that. They both said they wouldn't fuck if it would affect our relationship and they wanted to be sure it was ok with me so I said ok since he wants it to work out between me and her anyway. Neither of them would do something behind my back and I respect that. If she wants to fuck another guy I'm a lot more comfortable knowing when and where and with who. They were engaged once and they knew each other since high school so it's nothing new for them. I wouldn't be ok with it if it were someone new or I didn't know him.

 

That came up when we talked. She said if she was sure of my relationship with her and she knew the other girl and liked her and we had had a sexual relation ship before, she would be ok with it. If I started up something with somebody new it would be entirely different.

 

My ex's are just that ex's.

I don't want to sleep with any of them again. All I can see is problems

 

This sounds like you're being played for a fool :\

 

I don't see how I could be played for a fool since it was my decision. I could easily say I don't want her to and they wouldn't but the fact of the matter is I don't care about their previous romance and how many times she fucked him. Once more at a concert isn't going to be the end of the world. Like I said, since he's a ex, I know him, and they do together a small part of her lifestyle that I don't, if they get it on.

- after all this is a free love forum, isn't it. And I'm not talking about free love, just making an exception for an old close friend of her's.

 

getting played.

 

I don't think that hooking up with an ex is any different than hooking up with someone else. There can always be awkward situations and they might like it a little too much.

If you're in an open relationship in general, sure, hook up with your ex. I don't think it's wise to be exclusive except to your exes.

 

Well, it's not an open relationship is it's limited to certain people. She says I can hook up with an ex if I want to and I've thought about it.

 

She said it has to be an ex? Why not somebody new? I mean it seems fishy that it has to be an ex.

why is she hanging on to this ex

 

dude I am open to 3somes but it sounds to me like your paying her bills and he is getting to play in your sand box... Just sayin...

 

Yeah.

Old ex sounds WAY more dangerous, and like she's taking advantage of you, than if it's someone you met together for the purpose of swinging. And if your answer to this is that you're not swingers/don't do that, then I would counter that you should stop doing it.

 

So she's fucking somebody she was at one point willing to spend the rest of her life with??

Dude, you're getting played. Having an open relationship is one thing, but I was under the assumption that you were open with your body, not your emotions. No way in hell I'd let hubby fuck somebody he previously told he loved.

 

ok how about asking her to do a 3some with your ex.... that seems to work for me...

 

Fuck no.

 

I wouldnt be so confident about that... They could easily still sleep together behind your back. How did it happen the first time? Did she come up to u asking if she could have sex with her ex?

I really don't judge though, all that matters is that u're happy. If u are comfortable with that sort of relationship, then good for u .

Personally i can't stand cheating, in all its forms, people cheating on me, me cheating on them, or being the other woman (never been there and never will). I still often hook up with my ex, but i'm not in a relationship and neither is he so basically we're just f buddies. I like it, it's all fun and no drama.

 

So, you pay all the bills, and she goes out and fucks other people..?

Sounds ok to me. Actually,

here is an experiment: tell her she can't do it anymore and see what happens. Here are my predictions: 1. She will fuck him anyway behind your back. 2. She will dump you and move in with one of the other guys she is fucking that you don't know about.