Horny female with issues- please give your opinions!!!!

Hi There
I have been with my boyfriend for many years now.
He is not as horny as I am, but he makes no effort whatsoever.
He has issues with being, errrrm, quite quick in the bedroom which I wouldnt have a problem with, but the thing is he NEVER pleasures me first. I have to complain for about 6 months before he will pleasure me, and even then I feel as if its out of obligation instead of caring about my needs.
And when he does do it, he stops pretty much just before I come, making it annoying anyway.
I prefer not to do it myself or use a vibrator as I like human contact too much.
He claims to find me attractive still, but makes no effort in the bedroom. I have to beg for sex pretty much, and when he does do it, it lasts 2 mins, then he gets pissed off when I want more.
Ive even had to pay him on some occasions.
When Ive been without for a while I find myself having sex dreams about other men and sometimes fantasize about cheating on him. I do get hit on by other men and it would be just so easy to be fulfilled sexually with no strings attached, but the guilt wouldnt let me.
I would love the opinion of other men and women please??

 

Its not the guilt thats stopping you

 

This is so ironic. I was going to suggest you pay a boy hooker. Maybe up the fee?

j/k :biggrin:

 

I`ll bite. What is it then?

 

I gotta be honest, if its been this long I just don't see this getting any better. Without knowing much about him I might have to say that he is just tagging along and not really that into you and maybe has a fear of being alone so he stays with you. I mean its fully possible that there are some guys that just do not enjoy sex but he should still want to pleasure you rather then trying to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Its probably hard to hear the truth but I'm sure you know it already. This isn't likely to get any better and if you look into your future and continue having these problem will you be happy in this relationship? If not then maybe its time to find someone else who can give you what you want and looks forward to it.

It may seem shallow but sex is no small part. It makes connections and strengthens emotions and is integral to a healthy relationship.

 

So basically, you want us to convince you and say it's okay to cheat, so your guilt will vanish and you can do what you want to. That's the reason you came here. Yes?

 

I was kind of thinking the same thing

 

If sex is that important to you in your relationship and it isn't as important to him, end it.

Simple solution!

My best friend is going through that in her marriage. He actually told her he doesn't like sex.

She will live miserably for the rest of her life because she has admitted that she is "too weak" to leave him.

 

dump the homo and stop being too proud to masturbate.

 

dump him and only have sex with trolls, I hear they are great in bed

 

That's outrageous. I don't think this is a relationship if you have to pay him. You need to have a serious conversation with him about this, an if nothing works it best if you'll go your separate ways.

 

yeah, it's only a relationship if he pays her.

 

:smilielol5: :smilielol5: :2thumbsup:

 

Guilt will burn your mind-but frustration will melt your good intentions into ashes anyway,so go get banged,lay a guilt-trip on yourself and see which one hurts more.....noble frustration or pleasure-bought guilt.

Then get yourself sorted out with someone who'll bang you senseless every few days while annoying the hell out of you for leaving the seat up and spilling beer on the sofa.

And stop farting around asking questions you already know the answer to-grow a spine lady,your life is ticking away. . . . .

 

You're definitely sexually incompatible, and a lot of people who love each other are.

I think you only have two options: let it continue the way is and eventually break up or work out an agreement with him that you can have another lover. I've seen that work before.

 

Hunny I am a girl and you need to leave hm. Seriously. There are a ton of guys out there that would love to fuck u... I'm sure and yeah vibrators arnt near as good... Does he give your oral? Do u give him head?

 

Be honest with your partner and see if you can work it out together - if you can't, then best for both parties to - move out and move on

 

Oh my god, so outrageous, that the girl would have to pay the guy

You'll notice standard response from the girls here is, well dump him and latch on to another one full time and then wonder again why he gets a little bored or lazy. Or conversation, the good ole communication chestnut, yes more talking is whats needed so they can continue to lie to each other

Ditto again from this example:

Too weak? Too scared, too insecure.

In both cases, and the majority, we are talking about girls where that security of a relationship is more important than everything else, including the sex, regardless of how horny and frustrated they are. The guys end up working this out.

And it becomes reverse whipping in the end, the same tactics you all use when younger (and yes, most of you are the same) on them they end up learning from and use against you.

Her boyfriend is too quick in the bedroom?, even though that may actually be the case, you can never really trust that cos its always tied to two things:

1. Ego - My boyfriend always cums too quick, cos you know I'm so fuckin hot and all
2. Competition - My boyfriend is too quick in the bedroom, so I just want to affirm to all you other bitches he's a lousy lover so theres no use trying to steal him away from me

Even though if it is the case its just simple physics, the less horny they are, the more they get it, the longer they will last


Now heres the part where I say a whole lot of things, that you, the OP or the other girls arent going to want to hear, thus I'll be labelled an arse hole or troll, even though Its more likely to be the truth as to whats going on, I know this cos its everywhere around me and despite your claims to the contrary, yes most of you are the same:

She complains he never wants to 'pleasure her', cant even say the correct phrase out loud, Oral is pleasuring her, but good ole missionary isnt? Whereas in his head, well she's pretty crap at oral, if I give it to her all the time thats all shes's going to want, the return favour is pretty lame, so thats just going to be too frustrating.

When it comes to sex if I give her too much she just ends up all extra lovey dovey and clingy and lazy. Whereas if I dont she's cranky volatile all the time, a lot more interesting, all the housework gets done, and she does a better job with the kids if there are kids, and if there are kids she wants me to eat her out with the same mouth I use to kiss my precious little 4yr old daughter on the cheek with???

And when it comes to actual sex and lasting, she just wants to do the same position all the time where I have to do all the work and she just lies there, and if I try to last longer she's just going to want more of the same old same old. Even though when we are around our friends she'll claim they are real kinky and try new things all the time - kinky and new things all the time in a relationship with the same person thats gone on for what seems like ever

From the inside, after years of denial and misstruths it all looks confusing. From the outside its as simple as a girl that a 8/10 who played it safe with a guy thats a 5/10 cos he's more likely to stick around, cos that security of relationship was more important than sex, now complaining he doesnt know what he's doing or cums to quick. Every other girl and the hot guys are like "Well, D'uh"

 

I`ll agree with all the hypotheses above. I would only add, and that`s where I feel my heterosexual self has an advantage, the $$$ element to this analysis.

Since, it`s absolutely intrinsic to most heterosexual relations.

It may be just the opposite: maybe, he is the 8/10 and she is the 5/10, because she is paying. Women 7/10 and above simply don't pay...rather, they will have sex with all and sundry who do pay.

Maybe she`s trying to bat above her average and the guys she mentions hit on her all look like they have leprosy...That would be my guess.

 

Have you mentioned swinging to him?