Do I have something written on my head that says 'don’t date me'?

Discussion in 'Men's Issues' started by plutoniumman, Feb 16, 2011.

  1. DancingQueen

    DancingQueen Guest

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    I agree with the person above you says you're overthinking it. Sure, you could learn to be an asshole, but what's good about that? The world already has too many assholes; girls need a guy who's actually nice. Maybe the girls you're attracted to aren't the kind of girls you'd actually want to date anyway--?

    Also, I know a lot of girls who fall for gay guys, so I'm sure it's not that.

    You're young! It's okay. Just be patient and nice and you'll definitely find a girlfriend.
     
  2. dark suger

    dark suger Dripping With Sin!

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    what are we even talking about if you have a gf?
     
  3. McLeodGanja

    McLeodGanja Banned

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCY7NTWQWVQ"]YouTube - ‪Emmerdale - Catfight between Chas and Eve @ The Woolpack‬‏

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiGxBO-H4hM"]YouTube - ‪Eastenders - stacey batters janine: 30 september 2010‬‏

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iht8SkPq2Y&feature=related"]YouTube - ‪Coronation Street Gail And Tracy Fight‬‏

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGzcixzB4J0"]YouTube - ‪Jacqueline McCafferty - Versace Shop‬‏
     
  4. plutoniumman

    plutoniumman Member

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    Thanks everyone for the replies! :)

    @ Everyone:
    A few have mentioned that girls may think I’m desperate. I don’t really feel like I’m desperate. ie when I ask a girl out it’s because I actually like her, and I typically don’t ask more than once & don’t get pushy about it. If anything I’m ‘desperate’ to get a date because I feel like I’m ‘missing-out’. Not sex specifically (for those who are going to point it out) but the whole dating/social experience in general. If sex was all I wanted I wouldn’t be posting here. I’ve had several chances to get laid, like at my friend’s graduation party the other day. This one girl was all over me—hell at a few points I thought I was gonna become a rape victim lol.




    @ McLeodGanja
    Sorry I didn’t watch your videos. My internet is very slow and would take too long to stream.



    Thanks, that’s nice of you :) But due to the circumstances, I think it’d be awkward + I just don’t do online/blind dating.

    I had a friend who was a girl, who I’m now embarrassed to call an ex girlfriend (if she even qualifies to have ever been a girlfriend in the first place). She was a user who was only trying to use me to skip town.
     
  5. Misterman

    Misterman Member

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    I saw this thread and felt like reading it, because I am in the same boat as the OP. Now i have no women exprience but i feel i am a man and I know Men don't bitch back and forth on the internet because its pointless so thanks for nothing the Chinaman and jharyn.
     
  6. Jharyn

    Jharyn Banned

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    You're welcome.
     
  7. Jharyn

    Jharyn Banned

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    plutoniumman: It's not that you feel desperate, but you may be giving that vibe. Your actions tell people a lot more then your words ever will. If you feel that you are missing out on something you will act like it. You aren't missing out on anything. It's life. You are just not in a relationship right now. You are not going on a date right now. Who knows what will happen in an hour, day, week, year.
     
  8. ChronicTom

    ChronicTom Banned

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    Now, if you hadn't included this part, I would have went along with most others here and offered you such suggestions as being more confident (that does not mean being an asshole), looking for a different type of girl that you have been and various other things...

    But because of them... That is all a waste of time. You don't have a problem that makes you undateble besides you obviously just don't care.

    You can say you care, and you want to go out with someone all you want, but in at least two cases, women have wanted to go out with you, and you haven't followed through...

    The first one you mentioned about constantly rescheduling... Shit does happen in poeple's lives that make it unavoidable to change plans. Your words;

    The second one, the one that asked you out... once again... your words;

    It couldn't have bothered you that much...

    It's easy to run away and make excuses as to why you can't meet women... Until you stop that, nothing will change.
     
  9. plutoniumman

    plutoniumman Member

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    @ChronicTom
    I suppose, from my posts, it does look a bit like I don’t care. For the girl I asked out, we (she) scheduled for about 1 week in advance. Usually just a few minutes prior to the date she would call up and cancel, and most of the time it was to go with her friend to the movies or something. After the 3rd or 4th time is when I gave up, because I felt like an ass chasing a carrot on a stick.

    As for the girl that asked me out... I honestly don’t remember why we never got to go out. It was about 3 or 4 years ago; it’s kinda a blur. Actually now that I think about it, I think it was because I was moving to Arizona, and didn’t want to get anything started just to break it. ...Shit! >.<
     
  10. Illidan

    Illidan Member

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    True, but not 4 times in a row, and specially to have fun with ANOTHER person. There is no excuse NOT to have time to do something, there is always time, and even if there isn't (funerals, weddings, extreme situations that you can't miss/avoid) there is always the option to counter-offer :

    "Hey look, I can't meet you on Friday, but what about Saturday?" OR ANY OTHER DAY.

    When you ask someone out and she throws you some excuse... the first 2 times I can buy/believe, third time? No way. I just draw the conclusion that she's not interested and I move on. People that are interested don't avoid dating you constantly.

    Just think about it this way: the most attractive, cool, nicest woman you've ever met asks you out on a date, or just asks you to hang out some time, would you really re schedule to hang out with a friend? Several times? And never even THINK of counter offering? All this taking in to consideration that you're looking for a date and a potential partner of course.
     
  11. xfirebirdx

    xfirebirdx Guest

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    I think maybe your just meeting the wrong girls. A lot of girls (Including me in my past...stupidly) like a guy thats a bit bad ass and mysterious... They like the unpredictability. As me and a friend were saying earlier... we think a lot of women actualy like the drama that goes hand in hand with a failing relationship. It gives them something to gossip about.

    However... do NOT lose that nice guy quality you have. It is a rare thing to find these days, and one day, a lovely lady will notice that. And when those girls see how nicely you treat her and how happy you are... they will realise what a wonderful thing they have missed.

    You sound like a lovely person... Dont change that. Be patient... and the girly your waiting for will come along =)
     
  12. etkearne

    etkearne Resident Pharmacologist

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    I turn 24 next week, I look completely normal, most likely above average looking in reality, I don't act like a weirdo in front of people, etc., but I am still a virgin. The furthest I have gone is a semi-passionate kiss with ONE girl ONCE. I have certainly never had a girlfriend.

    I am heterosexual, I am completely open to a relationship, but I just also carry a sign that says "Don't Date ME!" haha.

    In the past years however, I think I have figured out my problems:

    1. My sex drive just isn't that strong. I don't masturbate more than once every week, if that. I don't think about sex very much unless I see an exceedingly attractive woman. It just isn't that important to me, so I don't put in as much effort to get sex as most of my peers who are jacked full of testosterone.

    2. My medication regimen messes with my hormones. I am bombarded with dopamine stimulation in my brain from the Dextro-Amphetamine (Vyvanse) I take daily. If you know about the 'chemisty' of love, you will know that amphetamines cause the exact same neurotransmitter cascade as falling in love. So basically, I am already in love with life through the amphetamine, so I don't 'seek' out someone to stimulate those dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin bursts in me.

    3. I am not a part of a clique. Yes, modern 24 year olds still like forming little cliques. I dress like a business person- picture Brooks' Brothers or Polo Ralph Lauren. Very nice, but certainly a little different than the average 24 year old out there who likes t-shirts and stylish junk from Pac-Sun or Hollister. So I am kind of "different".
     
  13. dark suger

    dark suger Dripping With Sin!

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    U think u don't want sex but gimmy an hour and you will be back for more trust
     
  14. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    With some photo=shop skills you can make it say "dont hate me".. just a thought..
     
  15. hotwater

    hotwater Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Let me guess you were raised by a single mother, aunt, or grandmother. You appear a bit effeminate, and while you have male friends they’re more like acquaintances rather than close buddies. You’re smart but you haven’t reached your full potential because you lack the necessary drive and motivation. There’s no one pushing you to succeed in life and while you don’t lack the necessary confidence to approach girls, you’re predisposed that they will turn you down. you’re a perfectionist and looking hard for any excuse to avoid the pain of rejection whether real or imagined.

    Hotwater
     
  16. dark suger

    dark suger Dripping With Sin!

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    I think that's bullshit ^
     
  17. hotwater

    hotwater Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    I'm always right :)


    Hotwater
     
  18. WOLF ANGEL

    WOLF ANGEL Senior Member - A Fool on the Hill Lifetime Supporter

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    Be true to yourself, in the end when you close the door therein is where happiness lies.
    Try not to get hung up on the when, it is the how which is more important.
    Finding a soul mate of lasting endurance will come when the attraction is natural.
    Time is on your side - have faith, and the one you seek will come to you without a facade of false persuasion - MeThinks
    :)
     
  19. chainmailleman

    chainmailleman Member

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    Right now, on a secluded junior college campus, there is a woman about 20-21 reading a book on men in her dorm.

    Same exact problem as the son smoking bowls in his room thinking of ways to connect with his father, while his father sits in the garage smoking bowls thinking of ways to connect to his son.

    We all want the same thing. The girls you are passing up going for the elite, are the same girls passing other guys up for the elite. How many of us are elite?
     
  20. The Imaginary Being

    The Imaginary Being PAIN IN ASS Lifetime Supporter

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    depends on what you want - be an ass end if you want to easily attract another ass end

    be nice and patient if you're looking for something a little more substantial.
     

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