The White Knight Rescuing The Princess From The Fire-Breathing Anal Dragon

What pisses me off is when guys come to the rescue of girls and defend them from other men who come on to them too strongly, yet these white knights have an ulterior motive of their own: to commit the same sinister acts on the girls themselves. I see it at the bar all the time. Backdoor men like me, especially after a few drinks, would approach a chick with a hot ass and say something like, say, "Baby, your ass is so hot, I would eat the corn out of your asshole!" (Old line for many years already.) There will always be the chivalrous knight to rescue the damsel in distress.

"Hey, punk! Leave the lady alone! I'll kick your ass, mother fucker!"
Wow, thinks the girl, he must really care for me.

Later on they strike up a conversation and later comes the pivotal moment: he asks for her phone number. His gamble is that by rescuing her, she may warm up to him and give him her phone number. This is so he, in turn, can go out with her and make his own move to fuck her ass himself.

Fucking hypocrite! He acts like a knight in shining armor, but is actually a wolf in sheep's clothing. I know, because I did it myself in the past. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it works, more power to you, but when you fail (i.e., she refuses to proceed with you), you can't help feeling foolish for coming to her rescue in the first place.

It's one of the oldest tactics in the book. I see it all the time.

 

^^ I knew it. You have been beaten retarded.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Anal fixation is mainly caused by too much punishment during toilet training.

Sincerely

Sigmund

 

I don't get it? Why not breath anal fire on them then anal dragon?

 

I have decided I really like Backdoor Man. He makes me look like an angel. We would make quite a pair at the bar. I would go home with a different woman every night, and he would go home and masturbate while thinking about me and my woman.

There are a couple of things wrong with your scenario, backdoor man. 1) I have never told a woman I would eat corn out of her butt, and if I did and she actually reponded positively to that comment, I would take it as an instant sign from heaven to depart immediately. 2) Whenever I ride to the rescue of the fair maiden, my intentions are pure. For you to insinuate that they are not pure without ever having met me is slander, and I could sue you for it.

I am actually going to a bar tonight with my sister and her friend, plus other people. I am thinking of trying the backdoor man aproach (my wife is working and won't be there). If I see an attractive woman at the bar, I think I'll walk up to her and say "Hi, what are your thoughts on anal sex?" and see what she says. The only problem I foresee is if she is really turned on by that question and wants to go out in the parking lot and try it. I was a virgin when I got married and have been faithful to my wife for 21+ years now, so what do I do then?

 

send your wife a text message

"hey honey.. wanna divorce. getting anal xxx"

 

I have never heard this line.

And isn't what you are saying the laws of mammals?

I'm pretty sure animals in the jungle fight each other just to fuck a bitch.

:afro:

 

Are you honestly confused by this? Even if a woman would let you do something if she starts to like you it's very unlikely you'll get anywhere saying nasty stuff like this right away.

 

I, too, would also rescue the "fair maiden," but emphasize "fair": if she is a 10 with a hot ass of course I would come to her defense as long as there will be an opportunity to get her phone number--and hopefully, into her butt--afterward.

With regard to the ugly maidens, well, I would just be a bystander and watch the events happen. You know, laugh a little and enjoy the spectacle from afar? I don't see the point of coming to the rescue of a fat, ugly bitch who never passes my boner test.

 

Backdoor Man is alright in my book! He adds great comic relief to the Forums!

 

This just happened at the bar a few hours ago. I saw a white knight come to a damsel's defense because another dude came on too stongly to her. I kept positioning myself nearby to listen in and I heard him ask for her phone number and she declined. Epic fail!

 

This was posted Sunday morning at 7:05 am. What time zone are you in to be at a bar at what I assume is 5:00 am on a Sunday morning?

I was at a bar once with my sister and someone like you handed her his phone number on a slip of paper. She put it in her mouth and ate it. He stopped bothering her.

 

back in 1978 was the first, and only time i went to a disco... never been back to one sense then, and i never, ever, want to go to a disco ever again!:ack2:

in the disco, i was sitting at a table next to 3 girls, and i was nursing a warm bottle of beer.
this guy comes up and sits down next to the girl closest to me. they talk for a few minutes, then the guy says to her, "i bet your asshole smells like a rose and your shit do taste like strawberries!"
i gaged on a mouthfull of beer, the girl he had been talking to looked like she was going to bitich slap him silly; her two friends started calling him things like: "you sick fuck!" "pervert!"
to keep this story short, all three of the girls got up and stormed out of the place.

that guy proved to me, that neanderthals are NOT extinct... they still walk the earth!


about the only kind of woman who would think your a sweet talker by telling her you would, "eat the corn out of her asshole" would be a crackwhore.

i would strongly advise you to work on improving your sales pitch/pick up line with women.

 

How about this one: "Excuse me, miss, I'd like to say that you are beautiful enough on the inside that I would forsake the baboon to make love with you."

 

I can't rep you, but I can provide you with this wisdom: Bring a can of corn.

 

He, he...whatever works! If the girl falls for it, good for him...and maybe good for her. Don't hate, appreciate the effort and planning and skill, LOL. Great title!

 

I think there may be two different types of people here. Most of them I think are more interested in long term relationships. Pickup lines don't work for long term relationships because the women are looking for someone who genuinely cares about them. On the other hand, there are women who will look at your Leanardo DeCaprio or Johnny Depp looks and decide to happily fuck you until your sperm runs out. With such a woman, you can walk up and say "Hey babe, lets go somewhere and fuck!" and if you look reasonably close to the two aforementioned freaks they will go with you. On the other hand, it usually ends up being cheaper to just hire a hooker because those women also expect to be monetarily reimbursed for their accomodation.

 

...and on the first hand mentioned at the start of this thread, there are also the selfish bitches who show no appreciation for the men who come to their defense from others who take the more direct, aggressive approach to getting into their butts.

Aw, he got into the scuffle just for me, she thinks. He is so sweet, but why is he defending me if I'm not interested in his ugly ass?

The more desirable the girl is, the more foolish men will come to her rescue with the hope that their efforts will lead to a phone number--so they can eventually try to fuck her ass, too. Some women are actually smart enough to discern why Barney would put himself in harm's way to defend her.

She thinks, Damn, this ugly guy is coming to my rescue from that prick? I wish Brad would have come to my rescue, but Barney will do because one man coming to my defense is certainly better than none given the predicament I am in now. I'll just tell him that I already have a boyfriend and be nice when I turn him down. Selfish bitch!

Some women (i.e., the butt-ugly ones) do not have the luxury of any men coming to their rescue. We're not talking about those types because they're doomed for life. I'm talking about the ones who naturally attract other men but use them as impromptu bodyguards and dispose of them as tools. But then again, given the moment the sexy girl will take anything out of desperation. If the bear charges you and a water buffalo comes to your defense, why stick around after the battle and face the shuddering possibility of obligating yourself to your rescuer? Remember that the water buffalo wants to fuck your ass, too.

Guys, you never know if your broken nose will pay off. It will certainly be worth it if she has the ass of Keyra Augustina, but if she turns you down after the fight you can't help feeling foolish.

 

The chick will probably look back at the two dudes fighting, wonder why, and think, "Oh well, that dude over there is cute, I have never had sex with a blind dwarf with a hare lip in a wheelchair before. I might go and let him do me in the pooper!" or, she will decide to call it a night and go around to her ex's and get fisted by his lesbian room mate.

Alternatively: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glassing

 

It happened again recently. One guy I know at work came to work with a cast on his hand. When asked how he broke his wrist he answered that he came to a woman's rescue got into a fist fight with another guy at the bar.

"Was she a hottie?" I asked.
"Hell yeah!" he answered.
I followed, "Did you get her phone number?"
He sighed, bowed his head down, and muttered, "Nope."

Fucking idiot. He's probably banging his head on the wall now. I would slap him silly for weeks.