I dunno, it seems to me that every guy I like is total fucking retarded in some way. Guys either just want to be friends with me or just want to fuck me. Its total not good. I dunno what the fuck is goin on lately. Theres two guys I like right now, one said he totally would but he thinks of me as too good a friend and doesn't want to spoil that, which is cool, but then he starts hittin on me and stuff. Wtf? I don't think anythin is ever gonna happen with us which makes me really sad coz hes one of the nicest most genuine ppl I've ever met, and I know he trusts me more than a lot of other ppl. So that sucks. This other guy knows I like him, (I have a tendancy for sayin stuff I shouldn't when I'm drunk, lol) and gives me signals and stuff that he likes me, I got told he did like me, then I decided to do somethin and while I was kissin him he turned round and told me he liked me friend. Right to my face. Wtf? We have since sorted stuff out which I'm very glad about, I really like him as a friend but I still fancy him, and I don't think I'm gonna be able to help that. But it annoys me, I know he doesn't want me like that yet every time I see him I like him even more. I feel like a total fool for feeling like this. And I forgot about another guy (this is making me sound like a total slut or somethin man), I slept with him ages ago, all ended on bad terms and stuff. Met him on Thursday in the pub, we got everythin sorted (it was bad, I thought I was pregnant and stuff) and then stuff happened all over again. But I didn't sleep with him. He gave me his number and stuff and told me to phone him, I did and he wasn't in so I left my no. for him. He called me back yesterday, and was really off with me on the phone, sounded like he didn't want to be speaking to me. I said did he wanna do somethin sometime and he said he didn't know, but as in he didn't know if he wanted somethin, ya know? Then I said well give me a call, if he didn't then it would save me the embarassment of calling him and it being awkward again. So he was like, yeh, cool, then tells me I can phone him as well. If he didn't wanna date me or whatever, or didn't even wanna speak to me then why the hell did he even bother calling me? He could just have saved himself the energy and me the feeling of being a total fuckin asshole. And why tell me to phone him if he didn't want me to? Man, I swear to God, I will never understand guys!!! Everyone is just total fuckin with my head at the moment. All I want is to find a nice guy that'll make me happy but it seems that everyone in my town is a fuckin prick. To whoever reads this, sorry, I just had to rant and I don't have anyone to talk to at the moment. Umm.... maybe its just me, I'm beginning to think I'm a bit of an arsehole magnet. Shit happens I suppose..... Shit, that is one long fuckin post!
You are not emotionally retarted, you are a wonderful human being with the capacity to love and feel sadness in the confusion of it all. That's more than I could say for a hell of a lot of people. So many don't feel sad, so many don't even know that they like more than one person. My ex-girlfriend for example is flitting in between guys and hurting all of us (yes I was included). She does it because she's lonely but she ends of not letting them get close emotionally, just sexually. By the sounds of it you're doing better than her. I really wouldn't worry about it dear, just make sure you find a guy who really respects you, or, if I were you I would really push it with this guy who says "Let's just be friends" From my experiece a relationship is so much more fulfilling, colourful and generally more amazing if you're best friends when you get together. It sounds like he's scared of his feelings for you, so my advice would be just push it but don't be intimidating about it. Good luck and hugs Sebbi
I'm emotionally stunted myself, it can make relationships very difficult...hang in there and try not to use the word retarded anymore
