confused about my orientation...seeking advice!!

Hello,

I am currently in a relationship four years strong with a wonderful man. He treats me wonderfully, and loves me very much. My problem: I am not interested in him sexually. I have actually imagined being with a female just to achieve an orgasm.

I am attracted to females and only females turn me on sexually, but I have only dated men. I'm just now starting to think about what I like and what I want and it seems my current relationship is not it. I have been with 7 females in my life and enjoyed each encounter, yet I have only pursued relationships with guys. Does this make me gay or bi?

I love my boyfriend and dont want to hurt him by telling how I really feel because he at some point wants to marry me. I want to be sure this I the path I want to take Before i tell him anything.

 

You could be like me and be lesbian but are in denial so call yourself bisexual. lol
I don't think you're confused at all. It's obvious you're attracted to girls. Why don't you try pursuing a relationship with one? Couldn't hurt. You seriously need to leave your boyfriend though. If this is how you feel and these feelings have been lingering for a while, the longer you stay with him the more he'll hurt.

 

this is totally normal and it doesnt matter what u label urself. if u like women u should explore that before making any further commitments with this man. you need to explore and discover yourself and pursue a relationship with a woman if it calls to u as u have described

 

Likewise on the prior postings...labels shouldn't matter too much. If you're sexually attracted to women and not to men, you should definitely explore that. Denying one-self can be torturous.

 

Thanks for the replies. And I agree with each of you in pursuing a relationship with a female but how do you begin to tell someone that...how would u even start that conversation. It would be crazy awkward...

 

Start the conversation with the girl or your boyfriend? For the girl I'd just tell her I thought she was cool or pretty or something and play it by ear after that.

 

ooo ive been there. was living with the guy and everything. its going to be difficult for the both of you but it must be done! he is probably going to have a ton of questions (like did i turn you gay) maybe hes gonna be angry... only you know how he will react and you may be wrong. maybe he has an idea that this is on your mind.... maybe this wont be a complete shock. but all you have to do is start the conversation. try just getting straight to the point. dont just dance around and lead up to the main subject. that just makes it more painful for the both of you and might end up in you chickening out and not telling him the point, which he will become paranoid about and you will both be in anguish until you finally work yourself up to it

if you wanna talk about it more send me a private message

 

I'm wondering how I should start the conversation with my boyfriend. I can talk to girls its actually more comfy than talking to guys for the first time. When I talk to guys I don't know I get so uncomfortable. That further shows me I should try a relationship with a girl....but man if I tell my boyfriend that, he is going to be sooo angry and hurt. Sigh!

 

As far as orientation goes, up is the opposite of down, enjoy yourself.

 

I was trying to pm you but I cant find where to go to do that. Can you just pm me...I'm glad u have gone thru this its nice to have found someone who made it thru a similar situation.