Boyfriend watches porn...

so he's allowed to masturbate, just not to you or anyone else?

 

The Romans banned Jesus and killed followers. Hitler burned books and enslaved Jews. The House Commitee on Un-American Activities burned movies and killed careers.

Will it ever end?

emphasis added.

 

you specifically asked for opinions......now mine is unwanted because its not full of touchy feely bullshit like jamgrassphan..lol..what a joke..is that what you do to your dudes opinions?..filter out the ones that sting....like the fact he can only finish with YOU after getting a boner watching fake sex porn first.......


...and please...you know this relationship is toast...move on and find a dude that is into you rather than some bleach assed hollywood skank on film...good luck

 

Porn is so different to real life

A lot of the porn I like watching I just wouldn't enjoy in real life, sometimes specially with the Japanese stuff I don't even find it sexy just funny or interesting

I would also like to say that if you have a problem with your fella watching porn but he likes porn then you have big trouble cos you can't stop him wanting to watch porn. Maybe you can reach a compromise like having 2 or 3 of his friends join in when you make love and all jizz all over your face

 

the internet can be so cruel yet so refreshingly honest

 

lol wtf this girl talks like she's 14.. my bff jill

 

Is this the number 1 relationship killer or what?

I suppose it'd be bad if you're around and he'd rather jack off to porn but if you're not around, who cares? Better off watching porno girls he can't fuck than watching YouTube videos of girls he probably can.

 

The OP's problem is not porn. Its her boyfriend and their relationship.
Finding the "right" attitude about porn won't help her and her man have a close relationship one bit. Its not her relationship with the images or even his relationship with the images,
Its her relationship with him and the females (including the imaginary ones) that he deals with in his life and her fears and concerns about those females.
Its about his relationship with her and her insecurities and her wants and how he deals with requests from her that he doesn't agree with.

 

ah well porn is indeed an addiction but not to worry from my point of view as long as he still loves you why should it matter?

 

So the gist of this thread is that the OP does not have the freedom to dislike the fact that her boyfriend watches porn, and she should be taken in front of a firing squad and shot. Either that or just "accept it" even though only one in five men look at porn daily, and only 87% do occasionally. Several people here claimed that all men look at porn which is a false statement with no facts to back it up.

 

The point is anyone who posts an anti porn thread on a BBS is going to be the butt of lots of jokes and abuse.....

 

Here is another statement that is simply not true. I did not go back through and read the posts, but I have read every post in this thread, and I do not recall reading a single joke about the OP or myself. The abuse is true, but not the jokes.

 

Yeah, jealousy and control issues do kill a lot of relationships.

 

I made a joke, loads of people gave abuse

Ok so if I changed 'jokes' into 'abuse' the point stand and the OP still looks like an idiot

 

(empasis added)

My point was that she does have the freedom to dislike her boyfriend watching porn.
The question is what to do if and when she exercises that freedom.

The question isn't whether she is right or wrong to dislike BF-watches-porn.
Neither is the question whether the BF is right or wrong to watch porn.
Approaching the situation from that angle just generates self-righteousness and blame.

If the OP approaches the situation from the angle of what the two of them (with their varied mix of rightness and wrongness) are going to do to become a stronger couple. Or, perhaps, to use this as an opportunity to find that they aren't suited for each other.

"That's right/that's wrong" is a simple approach to problems, especially in situations where people are more complex than the simple right/wrong options. "What are we going to do" is more difficult, less definite but more valuable.

 

One more thing I'd like to caution you against, having read your response. If you go looking for flaws in anyone, you will find them - there is no such thing as a perfect relationship or person. People who spend their lives in pursuit of such nonsense - well - they wind up being very frustrated and unhappy people.

Happiness and contentment does not come from anything external. It's not your boyfriend's job to make you happy, it's not going to be your husband's job either. Despite what a lot of people think - Love really isn't about that at all. Only YOU can make yourself happy. If you can't make yourself "happy" no one else will ever be able to do it either. Having said that, anyone who truly loves you will do the best they can to avoid making you UNHAPPY - but sometimes they will anyway - that's life.

You must be a complete person before you can truly be happy. I guess what I"m trying to get at is this: The world would be a much better place if people would focus more on improving themselves, focusing on overcoming their own shortcomings, rather than fixating on the failures, faults and shortcomings of others.

 

Exactlyyyy!!

 

here is my advice..

 

Buy some sexy underwear and sit with him whilst watching it. Then ask him if he wants to make some 'homemade' porn with you. Give him some more porn to 'get off' at.

Porn can become an addiction that doesn't go away so easily and even though porn can be considered as degrading to women etc etc. guys don't care, they'll watch it anyway and that matter wont even cross their minds when watching. I watch porn sometimes.. doesn't mean I'm being unfaithful or disrespectful to my boyfriend esp. when he knows about it and doesn't mind. Sex is sex - it gets me off.

If it's bothering you so much then you need to actually sit down and TALK it out, not just "oh you're bothering me by watching porn". Tell him EXACTLY how it makes you feel (does it raise any insecurities within you?) if so TELL HIM. If he's your boyfriend and he's in LOVE with you he needs to understand and be considerate with your feelings. Also try ASKING him if he feels addicted to it. If so as well, there's always a way you can enjoy it together and get yourself involved as in "lets try that" or "can I watch with you?".

Honestly, if you want to be with him you both have to come to terms with understanding each other. Understanding that maybe he might be addicted watching it, he might enjoy watching it (or maybe he needs some EXTRA seeing to pleasure - wise) and him understanding that it can be offensive to you and also you are lacking the attention when he does so.

There are ways he can cut down how much he watches and ways that you can see past the fact that he is a guy and is going to get off to naked women being fucked and/or fucking themselves. If you want the spotlight on you, then try filming yourself and sending that to him? There are also ways you can go about it WITHOUT it destroying your relationship.

You sound like a young couple too.. you're learning..

 

IMO being a guy. Really don't think much of it.. It almost has nothing to do with the relationship unless you make it to be. Like I don't know how to explain it, guys don't watch porn thinking of stuff like that. They simply get horny and are like, hey.. this sounds like fun!

Guys are stupid... they're not thinking into the future, so I wouldn't worry about it. He should at least wait until your outside of the house, or hide it tho... that's the least you could ask of him. He should understand that.