Kinda playing the..."wait for her" game..

Okay, so I have to use numbers in this scenario and please be understanding of my position.

Many months ago I met this girl and we hit it off so to speak.

She wasn't the thinnest girl and I at the time had run through some health issues and wasn't very built myself. All fair. We loved eachother's personality and are extremely comfortable and love to spend time together and talk.

But, here's the rundown:

I am 6"1 and was 175lbs
She is 5"4 and was 170lbs

To make a long story shorter, I recovered and have made consistent strides to get back into shape. For example I try to run 1k every morning and time myself ( 4min or less, maybe 4:10 at most ).

I've tried to take us on multiple physical excursions and made it clear for her to change her diet and exercise, etc.

Ultimately her weight fluctuated:

185lbs 6 months ago
200lbs 4 months ago

After hitting 200 she made some changes and is back to 180lb but with no significant change since.

Now here's the big kicker and I'm certain this isn't all that new.

3 years ago she was in Judo, 2nd degree black belt actually and was a camp counselor.

Her weight according to her was 150lbs but in her photos looks more like 135-140lb, and that includes good muscle.

2 years ago she was 160lbs and then went up to 190lbs before dropping to the weight when she met me.

She admits herself it's due to laziness and I agree.

She's gotten a gym membership 2 weeks ago and I still have faith but feel like a jerk.


Now on my side:

I went up to 200lbs and have stayed relatively at that weight.
I went back to my regular exercises and have even mustered myself up to 40lb dumbells ( 3 sets of 20reps ) since I suffered mild nerve damage doing 60lb dumbells somewhat excessively.

Our sex life is still quite good, she brags about it to me and how her friends are all in slumps but we're not.

My problem is that although I can see past her body, I don't think it's ideal that when we're having sex if I stare at an unattractive part of her body she can fix, I lose that drive and then fantasize about other women to stay hard.


And to clarify, yes, I have hard evidence I have a good fit body because a couple of months ago I met up with a very good friend and she advised me to go back to modeling. She did some basic photos for me and said whenever I felt ready I should contact her. I'm pretty self conscious so I'm still going to the gym making improvements.


To boot, most of my friends say I'm carrying my girlfriend around and could do better.

But I want to weight and see if she improves....

Please be as honest as possible. How big a douchebag am I? How horrible of a person am I? And what should I do?

 

It's a shitty situation. If her weight is making you physically unattracted to her, then something needs to be said, I think. HOWEVER - she is still a nice person and there is more to her than her figure. Be very careful how you word it to her. If she is really overweight she has a whole lot of health issues that come with it, and this is what really needs to be addressed.

I think the biggest issue here is that you have motivated yourself to lose your own weight and get back into a healthy lifestyle, while she is still stuck in a rut and maybe you are worried she will bring you back down?

What your friends think is not important and what they said is nasty. It's what you think that counts. Is she still a good, kind person who you can talk to and share things with? Those are qualities that are sorely missed when they are gone. If her weight is the only issue (and hey, looks are important, don't feel bad for being a bit put off by her excessive weight), then she is worth some effort. Encourage her to join you in exercise, eat well together, make it a team effort. Maybe she just needs some positive encouragment?

 

Would you consider yourself a douchebag if it was her personality you didn't like, and her figure you liked? Don't think that one is 'shallower' than the other - you can be (and are) attracted or repelled by either of them.