Bi & Married but Monogamous - anyone else?

I'm married (to a woman), but am also attracted to men and have been with few. I knew about my attraction to guys before we were married, but decided I could simply forget about guys... it didn't work. About 10 years into our marriage I confessed to my wife. I guess I was hoping she would let me play, but she didn't, so I don't.

Sometimes I regret not being honest with myself, and truthful to my wife before we got married. I sincerely thought my desire for the opposite sex would disappear. I love my wife, find her very attractive, and our sex life is good. It's just hard sometimes (pun intended) when a good looking guy flirts with me, not to act on it.

Anyone else attracted to the opposite sex but staying monogamous?

 

I stayed faithful for the entire 19 year relationship, but it wasn't easy. I thought my urges would go away too. They didn't. I encountered many flirty men and women over the years and I was turned on enough to make me stray, but I kept it in my pants away from home. I did have a close call with a guy from the office once. He was openly gay and made me very horny. One afternoon I told him that I was going to his house that night so we could fuck. He played along a little, but assumed I was kidding. I told him that I was bi and wanted to get naked with him. He thought about it, but didn't let me come over.
I'm single now and ready to act on my urges. I'm glad I stayed faithful, but I missed out on some great sex away from home.
If you ever want to talk, I'll be here.

 

Sorry to hear things didn't work out for you and your wife, but glad to hear you remained faithful while you were together. Now that you're not together, go fourth and suck some cock! Just be sure to post some details

 

I suppose it's just as much of a struggle for people to stay monogamous who are not attracted to the opposite sex. For me though, the temptation comes more from men than women. This is going to sound a bit derogatory, sorry - but I guess since I already have pussy, I want cock. If I was in a relationship with a guy, I would probably want pussy...

 

The bright side to divorce is being free to do anyone I want. I can go out and suck all the cock I want. It would have been nice to suck a cock together with her though.
I'm going to find a cock to suck in your honor and tell you all about it.

 

I understand. After a steady diet of pussy, I crave cock. I do love pussy and will always seek it.

 

:sunny:Hi guys n gals, I've been married also 19 years and the last five years I did more playing with guys behind her back. When thr shit hit the fan, as it was inevitably going to it wasn't the sexuality - she knew before we married about some of that - but of course the deceit.

We got past that, well maybe not got past, but moved forward and tried a threesum together with another bi-guy. She found that she was really turned on by that and enjoyed m2m sex. But there were some problems after taking another person into the relationship and after about four months we ended that and since then have been open - I am active but so far she is open with just one other.

Where we will go in the future I'm not sure.
I think that as I get older and maybe see my mortality I want to enjoy my desires and feelings and not be restricted. I have to admit thought that I really enjoyed being able to suck cock and fanny and play with her and another guy - it was really hot and erotic.

For the woman of a bi-man it can be really difficult and also a shock if it comes out of the blue and there are some wonderful forums out there that couples on the verge should look at: MMOMW - making mixed orientated marriages work; HUGs - only for couples together; and AP - Alternate Path for woman only. Google them - some great people and life-stories on there - can be a lot of help.

Good luck to you all in your orientations - life is short - sex is a joy and a pleasure - why restrict your urges, desire and needs; just play safely.

Simon :sunny:

 

I'm glad someone made this thread, I am by no means married nor have the experience many of you have with this situation. However, I am currently in a relationship and both my girlfriend and I are openly bi. It does make it difficult though because we have both said we are happy for the other to "hook up" with the opposite sex and both like the ideas of the other doing that, but boundaries are always a problem. I would really like to know how to manage these urges, as a part of me wants a boyfriend and a girlfriend...:love:

 

It's the $64,000 question Skanzor - if you're in Perth WA, then we're in the same city

Simon

 

My recommendation is to be completely open and honest about everything. It sounds like you have a fairly open relationship, and that's great. However, you are both going to have expectations, needs, and desires. If those aren't being met (or not able to be met) then problems are going to arise. Boundaries only work if they are known, accepted, and agreed to by both parties of the relationship. If you tell your girlfriend that you want a boyfriend too, she can either go with it or not. If she says no, you have to be honest with her, and yourself, whether or not you can sacrifice your desire to have a boyfriend.

I made the decision that keeping my wife is worth more to me than my desire to be with men. I could have broken my relationship with her and played with the boys, and even found a girlfriend that would let me play... but I didn't want that. I want my wife. Knowing what I really want makes it worth it, and helps keep the urges at bay. Still, sometimes it's not easy - the attraction is still there, and opportunities to cheat abound. When I'm faced with a decision to cheat or not, I simply have to remember what I truly want and what I have to lose. It's not worth it for me.

 

Yeah it's difficult. I want to stay married to my wife, I love her and she is my best friend and she has been wonderfully accepeting of my m2m side - even to trying all new practices and a threesum with another bi-guy - and found that she was really turned on by m2m and mfm sex.

We have now opened the marriage and at the moment I am away travelling and having some new experiences. I love her but that doesn't take my urges away, for either sex but having reached this point at my age and having been female monogamous, tho not wihout some m2m liasons, I feel that I wish to explore these pleasures since they have been mostly kept under wraps.

I think also that a lot depends on your libido - mine has alays been quite strong and now seems to get stronger

But if as you say Shankar that you have opened your relationship and you are both happy for the other to have same sex/other partners then why the problem with boundaries? Sounds maybe like some aspect of your openess arrangement is bothering you?

Simon:sunny: