it's terrible thing to find out about yourself. I assume this is what homosexuals used to feel like when society use to think it was a mental illness. Oddly it wasn't when I was in a relationship with a girl, Erin who wanted to be a boy. She'd tell me not to touch her breasts; she showed me how to warm up her face so then I could slap her; hard enough to draw a little blood when her cheek hit her teeth. She'd have me slam her into walls grab her wrists or tie them up. I'd spank her sometimes I didn't really care for that. Her favorite was being chocked. She showed me how to choke her without crushing the larynx. I'd watch her face fill with blood, her nails scratch at me, pinning her down as she tried to squirmed. One mississippi two mississippi she would usually have me count to 15 in my head of course, i knew how long she wouldn't till I let her go. she looked beautiful she trusted me, yet her desire for air made her panicy. Usually after our scene we'd be lying in bed and she'd be crying and I stroke her soft mohawk. Lovely times; we broke up she said I was becoming too much like a boyfriend and that I saw her as a girl. I didn't think much of our relationship I thought I was just experimenting. I'd watch/read violent porn but I know other guys do as well. I love asking a girl "don't you trust me?" as I'd take more of her power away. But I thought that is not that strange I was watching ichi the killer and was instantly hard in a gruesome scene. I thought fuck fuck fuck, I'm a sadist.
Interesting read, I don't know that I have much comment yet, but I suspect something will come to mind.
There's nothing wrong about being a sadist. BDSM isn't bad, you just need to accept yourself as you really are. I know it's easier said than done though, since many will think youre a freak, but if it's what you really like you should pursue it without caring about other people's opinion.
if you don't consider this just a phase, then i'd think about that; it's not a good ..(habit?) to be in. asking your lover, "don't you trust me?" is pretty cruel and spiteful imo but i guess thats the idea lol. the main problem is that if one of you guys want to change and the other does not, then there can be a major issue. and there can also be legal problems and such with if your family or just a stranger witnesses anything like bruises. just be smart dude.
it's funny i thought I was impotent, then I thought I was gay, then I thought it was my circulation. And by funny I mean mind-numingly embarrassing, punch wall infuriating, and detrimental to two relationships. I don't think I want a full bdsm relationship, it's hard finding good vanilla ones. if I keep a position of power in bed and think in the right mind set I find my "circulation" is a lot better. and i hear in some distant point in a relationship people ask their partner what their fantasy ours, I doubt I'll ever choke a girl again. I could never do that to a girl I loved and trusted; that = taking pleasure in her weakness and dangling her life. this revelation is more like annoying quirk to be worked around like being diagnosed as bi-polar. You never slide your hands up from her hibs to her armpits and tickle her, then you move back and she clamps down. You ask her "I won't tickly you, don't you trust me?" she relaxes and as you slide back in she shivers just a bit unsure if it's a trick. Now take that trickle of excitement to your imagination and you can imagine all the fun way other more exposing exchanges could go. (if she likes letting go of power of course)
LOL it happened to me once! With an ex, I was having a hardcore session and we were pretty noisy, he was pushing me all over the place and I was crying out loud. The neighbors thought I was getting beaten up so they called the cops and they showed up in no time. At first they were suspicious, but they quickly realized me and my then man were just having (rough) fun so they laughed and left. Now that I think about I laugh, but right on the spot it wasn't so funny, my ex could really have been arrested if I didn't tell the cops "it's not violence, it's BDSM!". It's also a major turn-off when cops show up while you're at it!
I think its hot if a guy was like that with me it be real hot, but not just any one can get away with it ya gotta do it right. Just don't start killing hookers and you'll be fine
I haven`t read the whole thread yet, but I wanted to address this specific point because I was just thinking about it this morning. I visualized a chick sucking my balls, and doing all the nasty shit that I like in bed. The first thought that came to my mind was that deep down I couldn`t respect girls who do that as friends. And was sad...Was it a fact that either a girl satisfied me as a friend or as a lay?? But then, to my rescue came a different idea. What if what I don`t respect are girls who do all of the nasty shit without active pleasure? And god knows I met chicks whose only pleasure is to lay there and be drilled, and everything that takes an active role on her part is what she does "for her man." I thought of a different kind of woman who is independent, and full of self-control and does all of that because of her own pleasure and initiative... A lot like I like to be slapped for my own. So, my question to the OP is: If a woman not only enjoys pain and degradation, but does so actively and consciously...and is capable of standing up and walk out the door without your help afterward. Could you begrudge her that?
you know that it a awesome question, really is awesome idea, so much so that I am replying months later because I love my girlfriend (but with her this will never be) but in your hypothetical I could love this sub. I might even love her more because even though I have the stigma of being a sadist she is able to love me and admire my confidence to be a sadist, I owe her the same affection that she has the balls to be a masochist to face the stigma of that deviation. the heart to embraced her inherent desire.
My boyfriend is a sadist. He has a severe obsession with spanking. He likes to see me crying and begging... hard. I think it's pretty awesome. I have a little in me myself.
