I have in a couple of years deepened myself in Mindfulness/'Egodeath'. I am naturally reluctant to constantly ask me whether I am present or not. In fact, when I stopped to ask me this, arose precisely this presence. There was a realization in the moment, not in 'egomodel'. Those of my life's most difficult complex was almost immediately assets. I've always been an ambivalence. I've always found it difficult to choose between two things. Whenever I chose "focus", "style" or "personality" so probably hell did all my waltz opposites and was also found. Who the hell am I? I have no fuckin' identity? As soon as I take a breather after being "chosen" so get something else and put the whole of existence on its edge. I got to me that I was completely identitetslös. One could debate an issue on television and I soon found that I absolutely thought that Team A was right. Ah, nice. I think that the. I am one. Then spoke to Team B, and painted the other side of the perspective. It also had its points. Damn, damn, damn. Am I Royalist or Republican? I am progressive or conservative? Am I right or left? Liberal? For legalization or against legalization of marijuana? Am I Satanic or am I religious? I did not stand a chance because no identity packages suited me. That I was ashamed of, and that led me more into the idea that I had to choose. If I did not choose, I take no position. If I did not take a stand, I have no identity. All else seemed so damn sure of what was right or wrong. I do not care what I choose, as long as I choose and I maintain this and stand for this! So I reasoned throughout his teens, really. But I was too honest to take a stand. Immediately after I chose something as it was as if something came over me on the other side. Then said a kindly soul that I, unlike others, was extremely good at seeing things from many different perspectives. It was what I did. I was rather identitetslös, versatile, flexible, nuanced, and had a diverse perspective that few had. After that I ended up with this nonsense; to choose, so ended all doubts before me as a person. Instead of choosing, I could sit and take a question from two different directions at once. It was great liberating, I must say. My intellectual capacity reared straight at the ceiling when I realized that I do not have to choose. Rather, I can now purely intellectual find too cocksure people smug. In debates, I have out of nowhere with a fearless ability to see my "counterpart" perspective and to present arguments for his counterpart is actually convincing. Instead of just screaming my views straight out to strengthen my ego - and my opponent's ego. I no longer have an interest to disagree, or agree, with people, or to strengthen my ego in relation to others. Thus, my intellect and my ego is no longer the power that it forces me to these choices. I leave the questions and choices open, sometimes virtually forever, and realize that my inner essence is so much bigger than these little niceties. I no longer need to be in a record store and ask me about my personality is a Norwegian black metal and Swedish death metal. What I am saying is that when I saw my ego for what it was, and understood why it acted as it did so I destroyed the intellectual barriers that previously kept me down. The ego is no longer my master, but I am the master of the ego. And just as with the fire so is the ego a great asset in so far as you learn to handle it. What's your thoughts about it?
You're fooling yourself. The ego doesn't exist, you've just been taught to think it does. And even if you could control your ego, you'd probably go crazy if you did. Splitting the mind into two and having one part control the other part doesn't sound healthy to me.
