Can anyone tell a joke that starts with "kafka,kirkegaard & sartre all walk into a ba

Kafka, kirkegaard & Sartre all walk into a bar, order a load of beers, and become so gloomy that Sarte raises his glass and says “Damn all intellectuals.” Kafka raises his and cries “Yeah! Damn reading too. All those books justify the Nazi’s book burnings, man.” Then Kierkegaard cries “ Yeah, and don’t even get me started on religion. Man, who invented it anyhow? God!? Bullshit!” Then the filthy, unshaved, barkeeper walks up to them and says “Then get out. We don’t take folks here that don’t understand the magic of curling up in bed with a good book in your arms, ****. So fuck off!”

 

Kafka, Kirkegaard & Sartre walk into a bar. Sartre asks the other two if they want a drink.

Kafka: What's that supposed to mean? Are you calling me an alcoholic? I suppose if you are then I must be. What? Why are you silent Jean Paul? Are you suggesting I am something worse? A deviant? Yes. That's it, I'm a deviant aren't I? I should have known. It is entirely my fault.

At that point two men in Fedoras and Trenchcoats enter the bar and drag Kafka out into the alley where they stab him to death.

While this is happening Sartre sits unmoved, wishing he had the courage of Albert Camus to have acted out when the men in the Fedoras entered the bar.

Meanwhile Kierkeggard is daydreaming but then turns to Sartre and says, it's sad that Kafka was brutally murdered. He should have just believed in his innocence. Even if he deep down he thought he was guilty he should have just taken a leap of faith in the ultimate justice that God bestows upon us.

Sarte is listening to this balderdash and mutters: humbug, orders a drink and wonders why hell is other people.

 

Kafka, Kirkegaard & Sartre all walk into a bar.....You'd think one of them would have seen it.

 

Kafka, Kirkegaard and Sartre walk into a bar. The barman asks "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"

 

There's Kafka, Kirkegaard & Sartre, they're being chased by a policeman. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack. In comes the copper and sees these three bundles on the floor. Goes up to the first one and kicks it. Kafka shouts out, "Woof Woof", and the copper thinking it's just an old dog leaves it and kicks the second sack. Kirkegaard yells out, "Me-ow me-ow", he leaves this one as well thinking its just an old cat. He walks over to the last sack and kicks it, and Sartre yells out.. "Potatoes Potatoes..!"

:bobby:

 

[SIZE=-1]There was [/SIZE]Kafka[SIZE=-1], [/SIZE]Kirkegaard[SIZE=-1] and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.
Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the [/SIZE]Kafka[SIZE=-1] were sitting as if nothing had happened and [/SIZE]Kirkegaard[SIZE=-1] had his hand against his face as he had been slapped. [/SIZE]Kirkegaard[SIZE=-1] was thinking: '[/SIZE]Kafka[SIZE=-1] must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]Claudia Schiffer was thinking: '[/SIZE]Kirkegaard[SIZE=-1] must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed [/SIZE]Kafka[SIZE=-1] and got slapped for it.' [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]And [/SIZE]Kafka[SIZE=-1] was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap [/SIZE]Kirkegaard[SIZE=-1] again.[/SIZE]

 

:willy_nilly:Whoops! Missed the point of the thread there, back on track then...

Kafka, Kirkegaard & Sartre all walk into a bar, and begin talking about their teenage daughters.

Kafka says " I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes!"

Kirkegaard says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other days when I found a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank!"

With that Sartre says "You two have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a willy!"

 

Kafka is driving his car down the road with Kirkegaard in n the front seat and Sartre in the the back seat. Kirkegaard spots a ram on the side of the road with his horns caught in a fence and asks Kafka to pull over.

Kirkegaard and Sartre get out and walk toward the helpless beast.
Sartre steps toward the frightened ram to try to get it loose when Kirkegaard stops him, "wait a minute Sartre, I'm going to have a little fun first".
Kirkegaard then pulls his pants down, grabs hold of the ram and starts wearing him out.
Sartre just stands there stunned.
When Kirkegaard is finished he looks at Sartre and says, "Come on now, you know you'd like some of that too. Go ahead, take a turn".
Sartre stands there and thinks for a moment, shrugs his shoulders, then walks over and sticks his head in the fence.

 

i'm sure someone can. i'm pretty sure that someone isn't me.