I'm not sure what the rules are in this section so close my thread if I broke them Was wondering if anyone self medicated their conditions? I can attribute probably more than 80% of substance use to self medication ever since I discovered that alcohol made me less hesistant and more able to look after a much drunker friend. I was prescribed valium once for sleep while being VERY SLOWLY weened off anti depressants that had made me do dangerous things. It didn't make me sleep, it made day to day house tasks doable. I got out of bed, got the washing out and hung it up. Normal behaviour. No fun. Just what "normal" people do everyday. But doctors don't like giving you benzos. Got hold of Phenazepam last year and it did me the world of good, I could leave my flat, talk to people, it was amazing. I didn't abuse it or get addicted, I measured it out properly (cos tiny amounts are strong) and when I had to have surgery I just stopped taking it since they didn't know about it and experienced no withdrawal. Unfortunately they only seem to sell it on legal high sites now where it's nowhere near as strong. Shame.
I self-medicated with prescription opioids for about two years because they were the only agent that relieved my bipolar depression. I had tried 3 SSRI's, 2 SNRI's, Wellbutrin, 3 Bipolar Meds, 3 Antipsychotics (one of them I still take as it is good for my psychosis), 7 different therapists, Ritalin, Adderall, etc. None helped lift the black fog like opioids would. Eventually, I got on Suboxone and the doctor treats me now, officially, as an 'off-label' treatment of opioids for Treatment-Resistant Depression.
I stay drug free and use exercise as my medication. I just got OCD/ADD and something else have no idea what it is but I just always keep a positive outlook on life and always try to improve myself. my life is limited in some areas but I just do not go into my mind and allow myself to think negative thoughts. I constantly do stuff to keep my brain focused.
I make my post about self medication and then disappear... I made some terrible mistakes, mistakes I don't make. I was making a batch of Phenazepam so I could measure doses properly. I was also working on a computer project of mine (maybe distracted?). First mistake was the maths of powder>liquid and I took a 5x dose. This on it's own would have been fine, I could have coped with that especially as I predicted the powder probably not pure. But for some reason I can't fathom I decided to have some poppy tea as well. I shouldn't even have pods in my posession anymore, they saved my life in 2009 (different story), I got off them myself when they became more of a hindrance. When I was depressed and felt trapped in my flat earlier this year I ordered more hope it would help, it didn't. So I was going to throw them away before I moved but moving was horrible there were so many things that didn't get done. This Phenazepam making, computer fiddling afternoon I thought they might help chill me out. I also forgot I was on prescription propranalol, another stupid mistake. But I believe it was the pods that had me pass out and lay on the kitchen floor for at least 6 hours (last time I saw was 6 something, I was in ambulance at midnight). Housemate came home at midnight with girlfriend, he gave me cpr said I wasn't breathing. Ambulance gave me something that made me wish I was dead. There's loads more of the hospital experience, I was on the verge of a collapsed kidney when I arrived and I came out with pneunomia. My housemate thinks I'm a drug addict and told me to choose between him and drugs or he could lose his job. This is a warning I guess to self medication, I'm still not against it and don't regret the phenazepam part of it but I'm not doing it again. It was never going to be a longterm solution, it worked for me last year cos I just had to wait out living in a city I hated but I couldn't study on it which I need to do come September. I also need to drive which I wouldn't want to do. I've still no clue why I made so many stupid mistakes, I don't do that but as someone who gives me advice says "do you always act rationally?" no, I REALLY don't.
I have tried nearly every medication for my bipolar disorder but none of them work like opiates. But my doctor said if i try to get placed on suboxone he won't have me as a patient anymore. I am going to see the head psychologist at IU med school on September 7th and I hope that he will actually listen to me unlike the rest of society.
