12 Tabs - A ripping ego loss

Warning: This is a pretty long report so read at your own risk.
See the end for a TL;DR.

This report only conveys a fraction of what happened during this trip but the longer I wait, the more I will forget I think. I've outlined what I can, though there's no way my sober mind can think of all the things which appeared to me while I was tripping.

Setting: Sitting solo in a small one room cabin with some speakers, and a bed. Completley dark out in the country outside.

So I put the 12 tabs of LSD on my tongue right around 12:30, maybe 5 minutes earlier, after a few minutes of debating with my heart pounding.
I was incredibly nervous, and anxious for what was coming, but I knew it had to be done eventually and this was as good a time as any.

10 of these tabs were the Blue Shiva blotters that have been circulating for a while now and have gotten pretty popular, and 2 of them were some random White on White tabs that I had gotten a while back.

So I put those blotters there and suck on them for a good 5 minutes. My mouth tastes a little.. acid like.. almost lemony and sour, and then I could just feel the blotters almost as soon as they hit my tongue. It was a raw feeling, putting those blotters on my tongue, and I knew that something big was coming right away.

When I swallowed the tabs I was feeling pretty energized already, mostly probably just my heart pounding with anxiety about the coming trip - I'd heard that these were some potent tabs and even 12 tabs of some slightly weak acid would probably produce a decent trip for someone without any tolerance.

I was listening to an album called "Super Session" by Al Kooper, with Micheal Bloomfield and Stephen Stills.. about 10 minutes in I was lying on my bed with my visual field starting to contort with visuals, writing shapes, colours and lines starting to bulge in front of my eyes.

There was a visual field starting to layer on top of my normal visual field of contorting, flowing, almost liquid kaleidescoping visuals pouring behind my eyes.

20 minutes in I got up out of the bed, and realized: "Fuck, this is going to be STRONG"..."Alright, don't panic.." but I felt my heart start to race (emotions; it was not the LSD that caused this) and my visuals were growing more lucid by the second. I wasn't panicking,
but at this point the trip was already getting strong, and I knew it was only going to get stronger.
I wasn't feeling any type of euphoria like I had felt last time on LSD yet and I was a little worried about how this was going to unfold.

I took my shirt and pants off; I was sweating and getting this warm internal feeling that was almost a little discomforting,
yet it was strangely comfortable at the same time.

I walked over to the computer, barley able to see the screen nor concentrate on what my friend had said to me - no way I could keep up the conversation.
He knew I had dropped, but the mental clutter was just too much to be able to give any energy to the conversation.

I turned on an album by these artists called "Rodrigo y Gabriela", and let me say, god damn, this is where the RAW power of a pure ego loss LSD rush started flowing through me.

As soon as I turned the music on, I went to the bed and with these eyes full of visuals I was trying to relax, my body was RUSHING now; these rushes were starting from my feet and shooting up toward my head, and it was an incredibly powerful feeling.

Then as the visuals evolved, I really got transported away. These artists have a fucking incredible style, Rodrigo y Gabriela,
and their album "11:11" was just the thing to put me into a trance.

Here is one of the tracks from the album that really was the one to hit me right at the beginning of the peak:
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cuI7UXP9v4

I covered my eyes with a pillow and the visuals took command.
My whole visual field was, the best I can refer to at least as covered as this;


Except imagine that whole center piece of this image more shaped like a pillar.. there was, I kid you not, visuals flowing in excess of the colours here, just literally pouring out of the pixels of air in front of my face. The colours were very predominantly red, blue and green.

The visuals were constantly changing, morphing, growing, shrinking and they were stretching into an infinite scape.

These colours and visuals were liquid on my eyes, I mean they were floating around like water behind my eyelids.. I don't really know how to describe it, it was almost like coloured jelly flowing around. Just flowing yet ever morphing.. my god.. here we are half an hour in and I don't know what to do with myself, this is POWERFUL.

Suddenly, I relaxed a bit, and I realized that I was smiling. In a moment of clarity I realized this is what I had come here for,
mind bending visuals and the will to push my ego loss as far is it would go. The smile symbolized an acception of the trip to me,
and I felt MUCH better. I settled in and really decided to see how far I could go.

I opened my eyes and I could not see the room around me through the visuals. The open eye visual field had constricted, the walls of the room
were curving in almost like I was lying in a sphere, and as I closed my eyes,
I felt myself let go of my body and for the next period of time, I didn't really come back to my body in full at all.

The next 45 minutes of that album were fucking soul WRENCHING. It was primordial ooze being sloshed like water across rocks.
I remember the visuals from a certain point particularily well, and they seemed to be pretty dominant throughout the trip aside from
the previously mentioned barrage of shapes drifting in my vision at all times, and it was these fractal crests, almost as such:


Which were just covering my entire visual field in the background of my OEV's at all times - I still couldn't see out through my eyes to see what was in the room around me.

I felt plugged right into the matter of all the universe, almost as if someone had plugged my plug into the matter outlet of all creation and I truly felt connected with all of humanity.

It sounds really cliche for an LSD trip, but I could feel myself coursing through everyone else, connected to this ball of matter that I realized was a representation of the fact that we all come from the same matter. Not exactly a new revelation of any sort, but it's always interesting to see
the way drugs manifest and create visions of things.

Suddenly this album let out an alien sounding cackle, almost like something was vomiting in a high pitched wail on the recording - all sound effects from me tripping - and I felt this huge body rush, and the acid just sort of tells me "Alright, it's time to go a step beyond everything else".

I just felt my body put in this huge input of energy. Last time I tripped on acid I walked outside and tried to eat a raspberry thinking it would add "more input" to my senses, which would in turn push the trip harder. (Didn't work like I hoped, the only raspberry I found was half rotten and tasted disgusting..)

There was something about this rush that was incredible, and it all came from within. I pushed, and I realized that with most things in life, what you get out is relative to the energy you put in. Everything you get back is related to the amount of energy that you push with from inside.

I was thinking of the equation E=mc^2 except that mc^2 was sort of replaced with the power of will that you mentally put into something, and the energy you got out was what created how you perceived the things around you and what you got out of life.

I feel the rush intensify and intensify and I'm not in my body at this point - I was out of my body before behind the visual universe which had been created,
but now I just rushed above everything that I had already unified with
(previously mentioned ball of mass) and went on to leave the mind and just unify with my soul.. or something..
I saw the big ball of matter that I was joined with and the piece that was me just sort of flew off and dived into a fractalizing wave.

Maybe I'm being a little romantic here, but it really felt like I was having an orgasm that was rushing throughout my body, far more intense than an orgasm,
into every nook and cranny of me. It was raw, I was shaking, my jaw was clenched and my eyes were just pushing into my head with the pure PLEASURE.
We're talking a body rush here that exceeded how good I felt on 200mg of some very pure molly. It was the most incredible feeling to be truly alone
with myself and the music.

Even once the album stopped I could not actually get up to put on new music, I was still plastered to my bed for another good two hours with a rushing body,
wild visuals and ridiculous sound distortions. The room around me made it sound like I was calling back to earth from space. The echo and vibrations of nothing at
all in the room just filled my ears and made it sound like I was calling home on a space radio.

I was not in this realm, I was just floating among my visuals outside of my body for a good few hours. I've said it before, but the visual universe was completley entrenching.
The mental aspect of the trip was flowing at a ridiculous pace,
the body rush still going, and as I later found out I was clamping my jaws pretty hard.

I don't remember all of the visuals - there are moments of clarity within that peak which I can remember, but much of the visual aspects I will never be able to fully describe, nor the thoughts that I was processing and feeling during this period, though they will forever hold a dear place and memory in my mind. :love:

Eventually, at nearly 6 in the morning, a good 5.5 hours after I had dosed the blotters the violence of the peak just suddenly came to an end. I was rolling around in still, complete bliss,
and suddenly there was just this shot of energy that went through me and.. the debiliating visuals stopped enough so that I could get up and see to turning on some more music.

The darkness outside turned to light, and I was so amazed that I could see outside.. it was the most incredible feeling. It felt like I had just popped forth, born for the first time and looking out onto the world with virgin eyes.

I remember looking outside at this point and the grass was parting into these fractal chunks with red liquid just flowing in between them,
each of the divisions in the grass was reminiscent of a fractal "bulb" or "spiral", like so, except all of the divisions were in equal dimensions unlike the picture here.


I sat around for a while smoked a little bit of hash to intensify the buzz and then eventually got up and went inside to make some breakfast. I had a delicious breakfast of bacon, eggs, hash browns and toast.

My stomach was pretty disheveled, and although it was pretty hard to eat it felt extremely rewarding to get some proper fuel into my body.

I took it easy for the rest of the day, played some guitar by myself and recorded some weird finger picking stuff I'd never done before right after that peak.. it was really nice, and relaxing. I felt very at peace with myself and my feelings for the entire day, especially while making music.

Later I even consumed the piece of paper the acid had been lying in, which I'm sure had some LSD trace on it because after that the stimulation picked up again, though that could easily have been placebo.

Of course I smoked another hash joint later in the day out in nature by myself, which was beautiful and brought the trip up a bit as well.
It was also really nice to just get away a little bit so I could be with myself and some nature.

Here, a bit more than 24 hours after dosing the blotters and I'm still feeling a strong head rush/body rush. Feels pretty good, I'm happy with myself.

I feel very clean, like I was almost scrubbed raw from the inside. That flustering, sweaty, clamping ego loss state just.. set my soul free, at least for a time..
I was truly way outside of my body, mind.. it was just me and the LSD going at something incredible.

I couldn't have asked for more as a year anniversery to come back to tripping on LSD. Feels fucking fantastic. Still now, breathing air feels like a beautiful gift,
every breath just caressing my lungs.. mmmm....

Today, as I post this (the bulk of the report was written up last evening so I could detail it as much as possible) I feel a little depleted still, however I've had no problems sleeping. I feel very happy with myself, for going through with such a tearing trip.

I still feel humbled and in awe with what I got to experience. I'm not sure I've come away with any lasting lessons about life, or revelations of any real sort, but just the fact that my ego was so torn up is so many lessons and so much beauty in itself.

LSD, what a gift!

TL;DR I had a good time.

 

:love: fucking awesome album

always a very bracing moment! hahaha

yeah on my liquid hit od the visuals just began -assaulting- me without any accompanying euphoria, it was a little tense

high dose lsd visuals > *

always a beautiful moment

yes the kaleidoscopic fractals underlying the visuals; as though the material the visuals are being projected onto (or whatever other analogy) is itself a fractal material.

deep medicine

the cruel incommunicability of these things!

that feeling is quite crazy

man what a trip! :sunny:

 

Feels good man...

 

Great trip report! Sounds like you were ready to see how far the rabbit hole goes. I always sweat balls on a high dose LSD comeup. A warm shower and water will do wonders. Great description or at least what was percieved by you. Solid report. Congratulations cannabis!

 

Awesome trip report, Great descriptions and conveying of the mental and physical phenomena, I was smiling while reading this and I want to check out that Rodrigo y Gabriella album now as well.

 

Awesome stuff man! i really enjoyed reading this..i could definitely connect to some of the feelings you described from some of my other trips. I'm very much hoping to have a very intense trip like this sometime in the near future. Lucy should be making her appearance soon :sunny:

 

Wow, sounds like this experience was out of this world! I didn't dare to have a full stripe yet, seriously considering it but I'm still scared shitless of what I may go through, hence why I wait.

 

sounds out of this world man. i'm glad you had such a great time.

my brother had a problem with that too. "man, i wish u could see what i see. i wish i had...like a chip in my head. that i could pull out and plug into yours and be like...'here, see this.'"

 

This is a great trip report. Really conveys the confusion of an LSD trip along with the fact that you are at peace with and entertained by the confusion.
The largest dose I have still ever had was 4 avatars (I've had 8-9 drops of liquid, but it didn't even quite get me to the same level) so I still have no idea what you are really talking about, but this report makes me that much more eager to experience a dose this high myself. I will be doing this soon. Do you think you would have enjoyed having a person with you on less or none to aid you in putting in music and other such things or do you think this higher dose needs to be done with ones self?

 

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this. Half of the beauty of a heavy experience like this is sharing it, and I couldn't share unless I knew of a place with so many beautiful minds who were willing to read the report.

:love:

Well, it depends on how close I am to that person I think.
For the most part I would say no, however there are a few close friends I could and would share an experience like this with.

Especially at the beginning of a trip (any heavy trip really) there's a lot of energy that I don't really know what to do with, and communicating with people trying to talk to you could be one hell of a time, and you might just end up being a little bit rude without really trying. Especially if that other person is sober.

So I think, at least in my experience, having an experience like this with someone else really depends on what kind of a person that someone else is, and how they react to tripping.

By the way, if you're worried about not being able to get up to change music, you can make a playlist!

 

Sounds like an AMAZING experience. Great report, btw I enjoyed reading it. FUCK, I miss Lucy lol It's only a matter of time though, hopefully.

Again....great report

 

great trip report man! really fantastic! glad you had a great time. next time i trip im going to dose relatively high. cannot wait

 

What an awesome trip report, CannbisSouL! A pleasue to read.

 

Wonderful read, you brought forth a lot of the greatest points in the trip. It is amazing that anything could be that powerful!

The feeling of exploding with energy as if though cosmos are just dumping it into you with giant buckets.

The oncoming peak the visuals are looking as they are going to come through your eyes their so close, clear, and sharp. Then you just drop into a pool of euphoria as the trip unfolds its tale.

Coming back and forth from where words can't describe, to being on your bed covered in sweat and in complete bliss and ecstasy.

The freshness and beauty of the day after. Your soul feeling like it was just rang clean from the inside. Going to the woods to smoke, just being in peace with nature. All wonderful descriptions.

This brought back a lot of memories, defiantly gave spark to something inside. Thank you!

Welcome to the Mile High Club! You are worthy of lucy's light. :daisy:

 

good fucking read, i'm about to go check out Rodrigo y Gabriela by the way

 

:2thumbsup::sunny:

 

Sounds like a great trip

 

Fantastic report pal and sounds like you had a great time :sunny:

 

Fantastic read CS, glad to hear it went so well. Lsd sure is wonderful

 

Awesome man. I gotta plan out and lay down with some hits and write a TR myself soon too.
I thought the blue shivas tasted like lemon too lol. Maybe it was the yellow art.