Jokes you tell to a group but only you laugh after

A woman and a psycho are taking a walk though some deep dark woods. The woman says, " I'm scared! These woods are really creepy." they psycho replies, how do you think i feel? I've gotta wall back all by myself."


Top That

 

a snail walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender goes "we dont serve snails here" and throws him out. Two weeks later the snail comes back and says "what did you do that for?"

a sandwhich walks into a bar.
bartender says.. "we dont serve food here."

A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink here named after you!" The grasshopper looks impressed. "Wow, you have a drink named Steve?"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive."

 

why did the dead baby cross the road?


it was stapled to the chicken.

 

Aha ok.
What's green, slimy and smells like pork??
Kermet the frogs finger