Im not sure if this is where i should be posting but here goes. I am a 18 year old virgin from Scotland. Throughout my life i had a mix of friends ( male and female ) until around 12 where i lost all female friends. Now i actually have one female pal and i dont see her often. Also i have suffered from acne since around 14. So basically im crap at talking to people ( especially girls! ) i always beamer ( go red ) or kinda lose my words when i say something... i am ALWAYS thinking about what other people are thinking about me if that makes sense. So if im talking to one person, even as i speak im still at that moment thinking omg she thinks im ugly, weird ect.... So practically no female pals, ance , no confidence, always over thinking about other peoples views, what can i do to improve this? Im 19 soon and want to become a confident nice chap that could ' pull ' someone ! I honestly believe im a nice guy if a girl decided to get to know me i just have no confidence whatsoever. I hate when i see really pretty girls ( those girls that not everyone thinks wow shes hot! ) with guys that are so cocky and treat them like crap... So really my question is how can i actually become more confident and stop CONSTANTLY thinking about other peoples thoughts i.e Mannn hes ugly or whatever.... I know it sounds immature but its how i feel.
Just work on your confidence man. That way even if you are ugly you'll have a chance. I think women are more attracted to confidence.
But how do i work on my confidence ? I know your probs trying to help but do you not think i know i need to work on my confidence? ...
i,ll let you in on a little secret, for confidence. opiates... you feel confident to talk to anyone n say what you want. works for me, but you,ll become addicted like me prob. wish i could tell ya something dif. but i don,t know of it, i feel ya it sucks man. but ya can,t keep wondering what if? know what i mean? life,s to short we might be dead tom.......
Improve yourself. Work on improving yourself and just being happy for awhile. Forget about other people and find lots've stuff you like to do, stuff you are or want to get good at.
This might sound vein or whatever but im currently trying to get a 6 pack. I know it sounds sad and i am NOT trying to get one to impress girls ect, as i wouldnt flaunt it even if i had one. Do you think if i was to get one i would be happier with myself and then id maybe get more confidence? I am really skinny so i should beable to get one.
basically i think it's mostly in your head. for me overcoming shyness i just manned up and when i actually did i realised i'd just built up fear in myself for no good reason and there was nothing wrong with me.
Well my only girl pal says its in my head that people are thinking ugly ect but i know she is just being nice. When im driving and a girl looks at me i just know that they look away in disgust ( dont me funny and say they are driving ) I know im not great looking. However i think without the spots ( all on my T zone ) i would be quite a handsome guy tbh. Im caring... I just feel like shit tbh. And the fact im telling people on the internet that i feel crap about me just shows how bad i am eh ? lol. Wow...
I dont know why im so negative though, bugs me. I have my own car, im young, i have a qualification from college, im going to try really hard to look on the positives for now on!
i don't know, i used to be kind of like that and i eventually just stopped caring. it kind of coincided with when i started smoking a lot of weed. maybe that had something to do with my fuckitall attitude...
If you are being honest, and very open as you are to people on the internet, being truthful, I will offer insight. Your shyness might be stemming from your own perception of yourself, which is truly hard to just forget when you stare at it in the mirror everyday. It is hard to shake your own "ego" your own perception of yourself. But, when you have these bad notions of yourself, this is given off to other people in your actions, appearance and overall presence. For you to be honest and say, "I really care" "I just want them to just know me" is a great mind set. Build onto that, build onto the positive thoughts. Just thnik positively about yourself, and realize, you are who you are, you can only change so much, if other people can't understand that, then fuck them, honestly fuck them. Not everyone in this world is superficial. Some good hearted people would love to just know you and chat with you. Girls included. Now, I personally have been working on this, and I really am just more introverted and "timid" with social anxiety being a huge factor. But, we can only work on things one at a time.
I`m sorry, but this confidence business just sounds to me like you want to have the right to be superficial (a pretty girl), and yet pretty girls don`t have the same right. They should want you for your personality, confidence, etc.
Personal experience. I was a 19 year old virgin many years ago. No confidence, no prospects. Then I turned twenty one - personally I got into the drug scene where I met lots of guys and chicks. At that age girls sort of throw aside the old teen sexual conservatism and realize that just a nice guy ain't so bad. The tough part is being patient. My life went from no sex - to all I needed in 1 year. It'll happen. And then that special check appears and Holy Shit!!! Hang in there man. Don't put yourself down.
