Lost and fucking frustrated with my life.

Hi Hip Family,

I've been completely MIA for a while because I have been dealing with a lot of garbage right now. Feeling WAY low and trying my best to breathe in and breathe out and not to worry but sometimes being happy and positive all the time is harder than it seems!

My mother is a raging alcoholic and just this week I have dealt with being kicked out of my house along with my other siblings. Tonight she even beat the crap out of my brother and she NEVER remembers this stuff the next day.

My financial situation is devastating even though all I fucking do is work. I'm a 20-year-old who fully supports herself. Yes, I am proud of this because most of my friends are still living off of mommy and daddy but the stress man is nuts!

I am just having a rough time guys. I am basically being "Mom" to my 4 other siblings while dealing with my own life and my own issues all while my mother is out binge drinking and my father is trying to start his new life with his new woman. I am frustrated with myself artistically and I am basically just in a rut.

I don't need anone to try and solve my issues because that is no one's responsibility but my own...... but I could really use some supportive words or kind thoughts from positive people out there. It's been a while since I have had some good vibes.

Love to all!

 

it takes a strong woman to do what your doing. It will shape you to be a good person in the future. Some people might just give up but it seems that ur gonna keep fighting. I hope nothing but the best for you!!

 

Really sorry to hear about this. It sounds like you have a good head on you though and you know the right way to go. Yeah, its really frustrating and often seems like a thankless task but good karma will work for you. It'll be okay.
Love and luck to you.

 

Wanted to post earlier when I saw your post but didn't know what to say. Don't know now.

Don't let it drag you down.

 

Yeah that is the hardest part.. "not letting it drag me down" but yeah I'm always going to keep fighting and hope that karmas on my side.

Thanks for the good wishes though guys. It means a lot to just have someone to listen. <3

 

Welcome.

 

You should be proud of yourself for keeping it all together. I can't describe my admiration for you.

May I suggest you and your siblings have an "intervention" with you mother? Things would be a lot easier for you if you tackle the root cause of the problem, rather than constantly putting up with things at your own expense. You are doing a great job but it pains me to think you couldn't live your own life because you're forced to run a household.

 

Trust me, everything you are going through will make you much stronger in the end.

It sucks having a parent like that, I know, I've been through it. And you can't help someone that can't help themselves - been through that too.

Just think about a bright future you have ahead of you. Keep on truckin' and sooner or later, your good karma will pay out

 

You can get help from the government, Just know that you can also get restitution for abuse.
I'd look into it, Please just don't be too proud to accept help!

I have nothing but admiration and hope for you and your siblings!
Major kudos.

 

... Worst advice ever...

I wish people would think before doling out advice like that. Are you not aware of the ins and outs of organisations like that?

 

It's a fucking travesty that you are having to deal with all that shit but you're obviously coping even though it is bringing you down.The best you can do is your best! Be proud of what you are achieving! I sincerely hope that things get better in the future and you get your life back. I have a great deal of admiration for you.

 

I was in your place 10 years ago, take my advice, forget your mother. Don't bother trying to save her, she isn't worth it and her love doesn't mean anything. You have all the power - everyone is watching and depending on you - so that makes you the dictator of this situation. Use your strength and treat your mother like a snake that lives under the house...avoid her and ignore, teach your siblings to do the same and find inner strength.

 

You're right, I thought about it for a while and changed my post. Tried to do so before someone could respond.

 

You need to get into your father's face and make him step up to the plate and be a man. Divorce or not - it shouldn't be your responsibility to be the parental figure for your siblings - that's the parent's job. If your Mom is shirking her responsibility then your dad needs to be reminded of the fact that he too is a parent. Damn this irritates me - people are always in such a rush to go out and have kids, and they need to stop and get their own shit together first. Why do people take parenthood so damn lightly?

 

Terrible advice, why so heartless? Why not use the power for good rather than evil?

 

I am overwhelmed by the support on this website. Honestly, it is beautiful to feel such love from people who I have never even met before. Thank you so much for your kindness and your advice it is seriously helping more than I can say! It is just so relieving to have some form of appreciation or approval. Hopefully my situation will get better soon. We are planning an intervention but I will be back at school because I just will not risk my education as it is really important to me. I am still coordinating and in charge of everything but my aunts are really wonderful and are going to step in while I am at school and get me on skype so I can be there as well as getting my older sister on skype who is currently in Korea for a few years. I was able to move my two younger siblings out to my dad's house since he is NEVER here anyway so they are in a better environment and basically just keeping shit really organized to keep my own sanity. I can feel this whole thing making me stronger already but I really just can't wait to be out and back in my element at school.

You are all the best. LOVE TO ALL!

 

Without knowing anymore about the father and his possible role in all this...I would NOT suggest this. Could the mother be an alcoholic b/c of something to do with the father and his actions? There are usually reasons why a mother would even allow herself to become an alcoholic. I'm just sayin'...

I do agree with you that many, many ppl do not have the slightest consideration for what they are doing - bringing a CHILD into this world - before they do it. I personally think ppl should be able to pass some kind of test before they are legally allowed to become parents - but then THAT would put all kinds of ppl up in arms, huh?! Saying that aloud could even get me lynched (eek)...

Miss Kitty, I wish you the best...but I got to agree that you should try to do what you need to do - for yourself & sibs...and just put mama in God's hands.
You demonstrate much strength and compassion. Follow your gut.

 

Little Kitty,
On behalf of your siblings: Thank you! Thank you for providing something, that no one else could at this time. For providing us a balanced, caring overseer that we can turn to and count on during this horrendous situation. This situation is way over our heads on how to comprehend or control it. But you, your love and sacrifice is making it possible for us to get through this. There is no way to fully thank you for what you are doing for us. Thank you for your protection, care and love. Look at each of us. We are the ones you are sheltering. We are the ones whose lives and personalities are being kept from the damage. Thanks for thinking we are worth it and being there, when no one else can be.

 

I'm sure there are "reasons' why a father would become an alcoholic too (predisposition, impulse control problem, abuse, victim of infidelity, depression). It's got nothing to do with the fact that the mother (or father) appears to be fulfilling their duty as a parent. Disease or not. Lot's of people have addictions and still manage, somehow, to put their children first. Maybe the father is a jerk, maybe not, maybe he left because of his wife's alcoholism - doesn't excuse him from the fact that his daughter needs help.

I love the fact that you brought up the "test" concept - I've pondered that many times myself. But I've always come to the conclusion that no authority should ever have power over reproductive rights. That being said, I do think parents should have to pass a basic parenting class before receiving any kind of state or federal assistance.

Like:
#1) T or F - is it safe and appropriate to bottle feed your infant cola and blow bong hits in it's face?

#2 If your child drowns or goes missing, should you A) report it to the police immediately B) go out and get a tattoo before getting bombed with your friends C) wait a month or two for the whole thing to blow over.

In my state, apparently you do have to pass a basic nutrition test in order to receive state food allowance - which I think is reasonable.

 

Hello Kitty. I'm sorry I can't offer you more than more than these words, but I truly admire you for being a mother to your brothers, and doing a good job out of it. I believe this dark period in your life will pass, and you will find peace... Let us know if anything changes for the best.Hugs

 

What's so bad about being lost? Be lost.