special needs child

Hi all, i need some advice, or just words of comfort.

My daughter Raven who is 5 is in kindergarten and is struggling(well thats what the school tells me)I had a meeting with the school last week, with the pricipal,teacher, reading teacher,school counsler, and speech therapist.they all seem to think something is wrong with her because she dosent know her ABC's to a T, and has trouble remembering stuff.they said she has the devolopment of a 3 year old. so shes getting a hearing test done next week, and then from there they are doing more tests to determine where her learning disablity is.

I guess my issue is she seems normal too me. when i was in kindergarten 20 years ago we learned abc's numbers and colors in kindergarten, and first grade.is it just me or does it seem that schools have advanced alot, and expect too much from them ? i mean shes in kindergarten and she has homework!!!


anyways any thoughts, input, or if you've been there let me know. thanks

 

Homework in kindergarten? that is just wrong. we didnt even have a kindergarten in my neighborhood till the year I was in grade one. ha ha, I love that.

I just want to let you know that you and your daughter know her the best of anyone. Better than any analyst, teacher, counsellor, doctor, anyone. If they try to tell you something that you don't think is right, don't buy into it. I have had experiences like that, and I didn't believe the doc, and I was right. Just give your little angel all the support and love you have to give, and remember, everyone develops differently, I didnt really grow up till around 30 lol

 

She probably is a normal healthy 5 year old. The schools expect so much more out of kids these days. They don't have a chance to be kids. I have friends who have a first grader and a third grader. Between the hours of homework, the dance lessons, the music lessons, soccer and all the other activities these kids have, they never get to be just kids. If there is any way possible get her out of public schools and let her be a kid. They don't have to grow up so fast. Homeschooled kids learn more in the long run and have much more fun doing it.

Kathi

 

when I was in 2nd grade, they thought I had special needs and sent home a paper for to my dad. I had a small case of dislexia, now I have over come it and I get straight A's, dont worry about it

 

Well, I think that kids tend to learn at different rates. That doesn't necessarily mean that there is anything wrong with your daughter. My oldest son has known his ABC's, colors and numbers 1-10 since he was a little over 2 years old, but that's not something that is usual. I have definitely heard of children in kindergarten who didn't know those things, and I never thought anything of it besides kids learing at different speeds.

Maybe your daughter is just having a hard time adjusting to school. Or, maybe she's bored with what she's learning. I have been told that they now expect kindergarten children to know how to read. I know that we didn't even start into that until I was in the 1st grade. I think that they are pushing kids way too fast anymore to be honest. Homework for a 5 year old is ridiculous. They need time to be a kid, and I think it's robbing them of an innocent, carefree childhood. It's sad really.

I don't know if this will help you any, but when I was in 1st grade, I struggled quite a bit. My mother went through the school testing me and whatnot, telling her that I was having problems, and having me in a tutoring program for almost a year. But you know what? By the 2nd grade, I was able to read novels. My own grandmother didn't believe it when I asked her for a book at the store and it was over 200 pages with no pictures. She said that there was no way I could read something that advanced, but that she would agree to buy me the book if I could read her the first page. And that I did. She didn't say another word, but took the book up to the cashier and paid for it. I ended up in the gifted classes as a middle school and high school student, and I aced those courses. Funny how they thought I had a problem as a youngster, but ended up more advanced. Who would have thought.

Good luck to you sweetie. Keep your chin up. Maybe your daughter might need a little help right now, but there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure she will do just fine.

Big hugs to you both...

 

i guess thats also my biggest issue about it. i was put into special ed for reading and math, and had speech therapy when i was in first grade, and they kept me in it tell i was 15. i just dont want her to be treated the way i was. kids are cruel to children in special ed. i wanted her to be able to lead a normal school life unlike myself.i blame the school system for the way i was treated, by them and other kids. i just remember getting so frustrated and being called"retard", that was when i started skipping school and doing drugs, i was tired of feeling different. anyways thats my rant. i just dont want her to go through the same crap.

i would do homeschool, but i have to work.

 

That's awful that you went through such garbage as a child. I remember how kids in my school would poke fun at the "special kids" and I thought it was so horrible. I was taught to love everyone, and my mom would have kicked my little behind if I acted the way those other youngsters did. But she didn't have to because I had a heart and I felt bad for them because some of the other kids in the school could be so cruel. I couldn't understand it.

This might just be a phase with your daughter right now. It doesn't necessarily mean that she will have to endure what you did. It's such a shame that people will look down on others just because they might be having some difficulties.

Big hugs...

 

I think in a lot of cases schools and teachers are to quick to label a child with a learning disability. While I know there are some incredible teachers I also know from working in a elementary school that some teachers are quick to jump on the learning disability band wagon partly because they are over-worked to begin with its a sad situation.
I would have her tested as the school suggested but if you feel in your heart she has no problems you may just be right. The school said I had a learning disabilty when I was young because I had a stutter and I would reverse some of my letters in the alphabet. My mom didn't agree and by the next year the stutter was gone and so was most of my problems with the alphabet. I've never had a problem since and graduated from college with 3.78. So I dont think you have much to worry about. Even if she does have a learning disabilty there are a lot resources out there to help you and with the love you obviously have for your daughter, Im sure she'll succeed in whatever she does.

Much Love.
Sasha

 

Crystalstarr. I would get a second opinion!! Schools ARE pushing kids too hard now days! Don't let the school push your doughter ( if she has no real problem).



If your doughter does have a development problem get her the help she needs obviously. But I have a problem with schools telling parents their kids arent up to par when all the problem is is that the school is pushing kids to learn things earlier to raise standards for testing in early grades so the school can recieve money from the government...pushing kids too hard at young ages and causing them not to learn but to learn not to learn ...but to test. Its sad that its required that kids know some things they didnt use to. I think the school may be worried your doughter wont be able to read?



Some kids just learn differently then other kids. For example some kids learn better if tought things while they are in movement...so they can connect the idea with an action. One school was teaching kids to read by taping pages of stories on the floor in a line and kids would scoot their buts from page to page...the kids at that school had way better results in literacy because of that program. Sometimes you have to just figure out how your kid learns best.



When I was little I was in kindergarten twice because the school and teachers thought I was add or adhd etc...whatever it is. My mom changed my school and I was just fine.



what does your heart tell you ?

 

well im taking her in to see a new doctor on thursday and to get her hearing checked there as well. im going to take with me the papers the school gave me that talk about Ravens behaviors. to see what they have to say about her devolopment, so im getting a second opinion. we will go through the testing at school but still im just worried sick about this.

i guess it just angers me that all kids to learn differently and at different rates, and if your different your shoved into special ed. most kids with just slight learning disablities do grow out of them i did.

im going to get that hearing test done though, because that was alot of my issue as a kid i had a lot of ear infections and lost 20 percent of my hearing in my right ear. they did a hearing test on her at school and her hearing didnt pass in her left ear, and yes she had alot of ear infections when she was a child as well.


anyways thanks everyone for you input and kind words

 

in high school I was failing english...I couldn't se the board. I didn't knwo my eyes were going bad. Maybe get her eyes checked too?

 

yes its very hard with a young child and home work

my son who is nearly 11 has trouble with curtain things
i went in to school and he now has a learning support teacher
for hours to do with english he also does art theropy
and i sort the advice of home tutor once a week.also chess club has helped...
and playing drums and guitar which is a great outlet.
(*his problem is dyslexia very mild but he gets fed up
so the anger grows, but is has improved with age
and alot of time yes we shouted yes we cried
but its all worth it when you see the results..)
go ask for some help.ask the school what help you could get.
i worked as an learning support teacher and this gave me an insight
so i was alittle lucky and my mother is a teacher,but believe me
go ask for help.

good luck

try some learning sites for abc maybe a singing tape
a picture book and you see how much your child knows
you may see how to help .
learn the vowels over a week a e i o u
then a few consinents say b c d f g .
until you feel your child has confidence to write
a few words ready for spellings.

try a matching game
on card write the vowels {2 of each letter}
then play memory game.
pick up 2 and so on.
the same for the consinents.

for spellings try when it comes to blends
ie bl br sh shr pl etc.

{ i used to } write a list of blends
and ask the child to finish the word.
what ever word they can find to the blend.
ie

bl... blink
br...brush
sh....share
shr... shread
pl...
and so on

but once you understand what the problem is
that the teacher has pointed out
you can help to improve the learning..

good luck as i said.
seek advice

 

after a hearing impairment is ruled out than she may have a mild learning disability or slow development. Every child develops at a different rate and I hate when they label every child who has different gifts as 'special needs'. Also you may want to look into adhd or add. Girls display symptoms differently than boys. Girls with add tend to be very quite when they get off task as opposed to boys who tend to act out. Just remeber even if she is diagnosed as special needs that the school has no right to push meds onto her according to the ada. Most of all just keep in mind that she isn't going to be 20 and not know her abc's ect. One other thing could be that she is actually above grade level and her mind can't comprehend the basics you could get an IQ test performed and have someone rad it to her as opposed to her reading it.

 

yes they are testing her for ADD also

 

good but beware children all over the uk
are put on mediication for the wrong reasons...

and as for i q tests dont bother believe me my mother
who teachers adults children all ages never goes down the path of i q tests
they are a bit insulting if you are only looking for a score of brain power
hands on play and learning ....

a child learns at its own pace and the moment you create
the testing thing the childs becomes fearful to learn
i have had years of it ......

so ask for help before you jump in.


sometimes the child can be confussed because they get lots
of attention but its because they need HELP so feel different

i know this too....my son has just got the messege that hes is not
thick..but it took time to find the way to educate him ..

thank you from saff
love n peace

 

an IQ test show ability not 'learned' knowlede thay are very accurate in determining a child's skill level and even if skills improve IQ score generally stay the same. There are kids with very high IQs who are failing in school and kids with low/moderate IQ's who get straight A's all it tests are abilities.

 

one thing is for sure all kids learn at different rates and structures.


however my daughter now in 5th grade. i had noticed a problem that she was struggling in even kindergarten, told that teacher as well as 1 st and 2nd grade teachers. well she got to 3rd grade and all of a suddenn they were concerned and started many test. 3rd and 4th grade she was in a special class for reading and math. but didn't have very good rezults. now in fifth grade i have been home schooling her through a charter school. at the end of 4th grade she had an iep which put her at end of second grade for reading and the begining of third for math. i always thought she had a problem with dislexea. but noone would liusten. now so long later she has so many p[roblems. were trying to work it all out. but anyway you should look at her devolopment very careful. and be glad that that they catch anything early. and read read read books on devolopment.

 

Not to pick on Kindergarten teachers, but when they assume that a student has learning problems, they're usually wrong.

My Kindergarten teacher thought I was slow, but I wasn't. I was a little younger than the other students, and when you're that age, 6 months is a long time. And I never went to Preschool. Never having been in a classroom probably effected it. I did perfectly fine on most of my work, I just had trouble with the environment. And the fact that I was scared to death of my teacher. That effects ones ability to work.

Anyway, she thought I was slow and wanted to put me in pre-first (which is basically like failing a grade only grade wise, you passed, they just don't think you're ready for first grade yet. It's a really stupid system). But my family moved and I ended up going to first grade. I took an IQ test in middle school and my IQ was something like 135, which is above average. I don't know why the lady thought I was slow... I do have ADD, but not to the extent where I have to take medicine, except for sleeping. I have the sleeping problems that come with it, and I used to have to take medicine to get me to sleep. Not every day, though.

But anyway, my original intent in posting this was to say: Watch her and get her help if you feel it's necassary, but don't worry too much. They always want to label kids who learn differently in a negative way when they're young. There's a good chance that there's nothing wrong.

 

It seems like they get it wrong quite a bit.

They thought I had ADHD when I was in pre-school. I don't. I actually suffer from depression and mild OCD which they didn't pick up until pretty recently.

Even if it comes to it, having a special needs child isn't really a bad thing. Temple Grandin is autistic and she's a professor at Colorado State University. Let's just pretend she's a nice person who doesn't invent machines to slaughter animals.

I did work exp at a special needs school and the kids were so cute! I'm hoping to work with disabled children someday.

 

I also want to point out that it is possible to be incredibly smart but still have a learning disability. My IQ is 160 but I have dyscalculia...which is like dyslexia only with math. I have always struggled with math.