Hai all, iam a south Indian girl,age 35,married for 13 years,two kids. since i was 15, i felt attracted to a girl,my classmate friend, emotionally and physically too. i loved her so much. i expressed my feelings in a letter when i was 17. she replied to my letter,accepted my friendship. she told me she also liked me. we had letter communication for six years until i was 22. in between i met her once at her home. after i finished my degree, i went for further studies and our contact was stopped. i was wondering why iam involved deeply with a girl. i also thought she might marry someone and we would soon part in future. at that age, i didn;t know anything about "lesbian". my love feelings for her was sincere and intense. later i got married to my relative man, went to USA,lived there for seven years. then, i came in contact with my old friend in 2003, we renewed our friendship. again love started growing in both of our hearts and communicated thru letters,sms,phone calls,meeting. I came back to india. i met her many times. we spent lot of time together . I found she also married,having one kid. i felt very hot and romantic for her. we kissed and cuddled each other in bed room. stiil our relationship is continuing...i feel more attracted to her than my husband. I have no attraction towards any men. Generally i speak to men friendly. with my girl friend, i feel more romantic,affectionate,sexual, happy,fulfilled. whenever i have love/sexual feelings, i always fantasize loving a girl in my dreams. I have no other girl/boy friends. could anyone tell me please "Am i a lesbian or bi-sexual"? Shanthi
Shanthi, no one can really answer that question apart from yourself From the sounds of things you are probably lesbian or mostly lesbian. in the end definitions don't matter much, as long as you are happy. It sounds like a very loving relationship with your girl, is beautiful to read about! It must be difficult with you both being married to men.
Your definitely a lesbian. Fully. I wish the best for you and the women you are currently having an affair with.
Could you be in a monogamous relationship with a woman and never again desire the touch of a man or intercourse? If the answer is no you are a straight woman with a fetish for girls and there is not one damn thing wrong with that, enjoy! If the answer is yes with no reservations and sex with a man repulses you or at minimum completely turns you off you are gay as a $3 bill... All too often women get too convoluted with this issue. In 41 years I've never met anyone that could love someone romantically and monogamously gender irrelevant. It's always "I could only really be "in love" with one or the other." Women that go through what you are dealing with often go right back to men after one or two relationships with women because they were never really gay in the first place. They just had a lust for a woman's touch, not all the other junk that goes along with being a confirmed lesbian. You have to separate the sex from the equation to start to figure this out for yourself. Who do you picture yourself growing old with? A man? Or a woman? Do you want to get married? Have kids and a traditional family in the strictest..and asinine "republican" sense of the word? The questions along these lines here can be endless, but they are questions you have to start asking yourself. Sexuality is as much about the sex as it is the lifestyle. Being with women in relationships presents a different condition then being with a man. A lesbian craves this with every ounce of her being, a straight girl that just likes to play with girls in bed never thinks about it.
