Help me I'm in Love

Ok it's a little long story...

When I was at collage this girl (let's call her Angie) came our class for presentation of their enginnering group. As soon as I looked into her eyes I said to myself "oh god This girl must be mine". After 6 months we meet incidently in a group of firends but at that time I was with another girl and she was in love with an other guy. But after that we became pretty close.

After we graduated we have not seen each other like 2-3 years but one day I called her for a dinner and at that time I was engaged. Things led to each other and that night we made love. After that in 3-4 year period we were like fuck buddies. Whenever my fiancee or her boyfirend's are away and wee felt that we need each other, we called and fucked. But after some time she settled down then after that I married and we start to see each other as closest friends. She can talk to me for everything that she is going through including her sex and love life and the same for me I can talk to her about everything. But when we come together there was always a tension in the air.

In recent years my marriage starts to go bad, become routine and ordinary in every way which in turn makes me think that I made a huge mistake. Because really my wife and I at different poles at almost all issues, sex-family relations-amusement and world view.

On the other hand Angie and I'm almost the same. We share so many common points almost for everything. So One weekend when my wife was away at her parents we dated with Angie. We had an amazing time then again made love for two days and sex was incredible for both of us. At that day I learned that she had sex only with one guy after me.

Now the bad thing for three of us is:

I'm in love with Angie and I never felt so much deep and intense love for anyone including my wife. I want to be with her 7/24. When I come back from work to my home the only thing I do is to sit down and wait for the next morning to see Angie again. Angie and I know that this will end badly for us but try not to think of it and just make the most of now. She says that I won't have a chance with her If I divorce. But because I'm married I sense that although Angie is in love with me she tries to shieds her self. This makes me so nervous that I know one day she will go to her own way just because I'm married and she has to carry on her own life.

I love my wife but there is no passion, I love her as a dad loves his children. But I turely love Angie with passion and I know that if we coul be together, my life will turn to real heaven from now on. If I were a selfish man I'll be divorced from my wife but I'm so emotional that I can not stand the feeling that I'll hurt her. But on the other hand If my marriege continues I know that it will be worse soon, and I want to live my own life.

So please hepl me with your suggestions

 

personally i am strongly opposed to cheating, and i have zero sympathy for cheaters (unless u're in an open-relationship and everyone is cool with having multiple lovers, but yea thats not cheating then anyway), so what i'm going to say could potentially offend u. but hey, this is a forum and u asked for opinions. (i don't mean to be harsh though, sorry if i am)

first, i wonder what u were waiting for all those years, since u had a strong connection with Angie "as soon as u looked into her eyes". the fact that u were taken at the time could've been dealt with, u could've broken up with your gf and started going after Angie.

second, the same thing applies now, if u really want Angie and u're so miserable with your wife, do something. Don't be the typical coward male who doesn't want to deal with a break-up/divorce and waits for things to get really bad and hurtful, and for the wife to make all the decisions. U're a part of that couple, u're also responsible for the fact that it isn't a happy relationship, deal with it like a grown-up would !

and this part of your post really irked me :

U have already hurt her ! U cheated, she will find out (yes, she will), and then she will be deeply hurt, especially cuz u didn't have the guts to tell her u were in love with someone else and kept on lying to her.
Getting a divorce is not as selfish as u seem to think it is, but cheating on your wife really is ten times worse on the selfishness scale. Think of it, right now u are treating yourself with both the comfort of a home and a wife, and the sex/passion with Angie, how's that not the most selfish behavior?

Getting a divorce and starting an honest relationship with Angie means taking a risk, but u're not a kid anymore, u can take risks.

 

life is for making mistakes

death is for wishing you had made a million more...

 

I was cheated on. I could never agree, and think it's pretty cruel and selfish to even think of doing it, and worse to do it.

 

he has cheated

i say if he wants to be with some else, he should

why emotionally cheat on his wife for the rest of their lives??

you can only make amends for the things you have already done, rather than those you have not.

 

.

 

I agree with most of these posters above me and, quite frankly, don't see why you are asking for help? It seems pretty obvious what has to be done.

Also, I was cheated on for several years with a boyfriend who was living with me. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, and paid for him financially. Do you really think when I found out he was cheating for years I thought "Well, at least he wasn't so selfish he broke up with me..." Come on dude, seriously.

 

If you really want to move on with your life you need to make a clean, honest break.

It always makes me wonder what people think .... if you cheat on a person (A) to be with another person (B) then what will be the chances that it will be the last time. Person B could be just as easily exchanged for person C and so on. Trust issues, anyone?

 

Ok I'm a cheater but the problem is

If the situation remains as it is now tihs will give pain to three of us. Angie loves me but tries not to abandon herself completely to me beacuse I'm married. But at the same time she says I won't have any chance with her if I divorce.

 

your wife is sounding like the consolation prize at the moment.

 

I'd say those college fees are money well spent

 

I don't really believe the man ever went to a collage. If he had, he would have been deeply moved by the beauty of it and would have instantly become at least an average speller of the English language.

I see a number of problems with the whole thing. 1) As mentioned, cheating. 2) Having sex with a girl who is not interested in being with you. 3) Not loving the woman you are married to.

The solution is obvious. 1) Love the woman you are married to, and drop the affair with the woman who does not love you. 2) If it is not possible to love your wife, divorce your wife, drop the affair with the woman who does not love you, and enjoy life as a single man, perhaps looking for someone else to share your life with. While single, I suggest reading the dictionary, or taking an English course at you local community college (Alternately spelled as collage in the New Urban Dictionary.)

 

Yes.

I agree.

Collage is beautiful.

:rofl:

 

So you think that writing skills is a proof of education.

First of all my native language is not English and I'm not living in a english spoken country. So do not judge me with my written English.

Second, Angie loves me too much and she is very interested to be with me but as I said before she doesn't want to be a homewrecker. She won't build a new relationship on a broken one. Because of this situation we suffer from the pain of reality but can not help falling in love.

 

Angie?

 

U should've thought of that before cheating. Now the harm is done, take responsibility for your actions. It doesnt have to be more horrible than it is now, but it will definitely get worse and worse as long as u dont make a decision.

People who date married people do not want commitment. Thats a fact. Sometimes they even repeat the same thing over and over (dating only people who are already taken).
So yes, theres a good chance Angie will dump u if u divorce your wife for her, but again, u chose to cheat, u have a responsibility there.

I'm sorry but i think thats bs. I have heard that same story from so many people. The so-called impossible to resist attraction and oh its so wrong, we hurt but we cant help it blabla. COME ON. When u're having sex with Angie, u dont hurt, u take a very selfish pleasure, and u dont care about your wife and how everyone will suffer from that.
Quit pretending that u're miserable. U have a good reliable wife AND a mistress who fulfils your sexual fantasies. The person who will suffer, ten times more than u, is your wife when she learns that u've been lying to her. Take the time to think of how hurt she will be. How humiliating it will feel, how stupid she will feel for trusting u.
U need to make amends, that takes courage but its still better than pretending that u'e the one with the horrible life.

lol that pic fits the thread so well

 

Like I said, Collage is so beautiful it will bring tears to your eyes.

 

get a divorce, duh

 

The big question for me is why on earth will you not have a future with Angie if you get a divorce? You need to ask her for a reason for this or if you already know why then share it with us.

There's no two ways about it, you shouldn't be carrying on your marriage. Divorce your wife so you can both be with someone who makes you happy, you are being very selfish and dragging your wife's heart and dignity through the mud. The sooner you end it the less it will hurt.

And stop pretending you're miserable and confused, that sort of behaviour really pisses me off, grow up.

 

I was just cheated on by a serious, long term boyfriend, and let me tell you buddy it left me with so many emotions, sadness, I felt so alone, so STOP CHEATING BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU INTO AND ASSHOLE....
And now that that's out of my system, here's what I would do.
1. Get a divorce. Even if you can't be with this new girl (which is confusing as to why), you are obviously not happy with your wife. Don't try to blame her. No matter her faults, cheating is the lowest of the low, and it means you aren't communicating.
2. Move on with your life.

If you can't get a divorce because you can't be with this new girl, it means you're scared to be alone. But trust me being alone can be SO MUCH BETTER than being in a relationship where you are either not treated right or not full filled. Take on new hobbies, achieve a personal goal, engross yourself in something you LOVE. Find true happiness, love yourself, love everyone.

Only then will you see the error of your ways and the happiness in the depths of your heart and soul.