why does finding a girlfriend have to be so hard?

K
When i came to term with being a lesbian, i straight away told my friends and family. The first thought was, if i can't except myself, then i shouldnt expect them to except me. Why be ashamed?

After a few family members avoiding me, and a few friend sneered at me, i started to look for my one and only. Except i soon found it to be a challenging task.
How do you know if someone shows intrest in the same sex? How do you know if they are intrested on you?

I finally startes meeting people through friends, but those peole where only going through a " phase".

So here's the question;
how does a relativey attractive, young, smart girl go about attracting the attention of others?
Finding pope online is too risky ...

HTML:

 

finding people online is not risky at all...

try okcupid.com

 

Here hun, try connexion.com, its like facebook for lesbians only. You can find someone in your zip code . You be surprise on who's there

If not. you can go to a gay community center for events and start socializing

OR find a gay guy and ask him where are the gay/lesbian hangout spots are.

 

yup, it sucks.
Straight people have a hard enough time finding partners, let alone us where the dating pool is cut down so drastically! Hard enough to find other lesbians let alone ones we find attractive AND single AND in your country/state/district/town AND <insert other requirements here>

Stop worrying about finding your 'one and only'. Reality is you will probably have a number of highly significant relationships over your lifetime. Looking for The One sets you up for failure. Realise that dating is a learning curve and you get better at it as you get older and know yourself and human behaviour better. When I am elderly I am going to be a kick-ass date

Not sure if this is part of it, but you don't need to be in a relationship to 'prove' your lesbianism. Just like straight people shouldn't feel the need to be in a relationship to feel valued as a valid human being.

 

Well put, I'll add this:

Truth be told it's actually a fairly rare event for two humans to come together at the right time in their lives where a relationship is desired. Most people gay or straight only experience this a few times over the course of their whole lives. Mutual attraction, mutual willingness toward commitment, mutual life stability among many other factors all have to line up at the same time, on the same day for love to spark.

It's frustrating as all hell. And all you can do is put yourself out there and live your life happily single and just keep your eyes open. One thing that helped me is to just relegate myself to the fact that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life and I'm going to die alone. Once I got over the sadness such a thing might make one feel I found myself in a place where being single wasn't so bad anymore. It opened me up to just living my life for me. It allowed me the ability to generate internal and independent happiness. Now don't get me wrong. the "romantic lonliness" was still present from time to time, but it was much more manageable and easier to dismiss in place of other things in my life.

Online dating isn't any more risky then dating someone you met at a bar or a community event or even through a mutual friend. But online dating does come with some frustrations and challenges that traditional dating does not have. They both have their pros and cons.

By the way, you could be much much worse off. You could be like me, a post-op TG freakazoid. I pass completely and have always. Women I have slept with even never knew, but there is always that underlying stigma I have to live with if I meet someone I want to be with. That fear that if I tell her she'll kick me to the curb faster than a New Yorker empties a full garbage can. That fear that if I don't and she discovers it later I loose her for not being forth coming. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

You think you got it tough? Don't worry..Just live your life for you. Enjoy every day and whatever you do: do not allow yourself to fall in love with love!