can sexual attraction be different to physical and emotional attraction

im attracted to girls, think their good looking, im attracted really only when i know they are bi or lesbian. prefer their personalities.

not really interested in guys even if their great looking. neither their personality.

though sexually i always have fantasies about being abused by older men. (obviously i dont want to act on this because i dont wanna feel dirty afterwards, but it is the only thing that turns me on) i think its the feelings of being way more attractive than them but their arrogance to do thing with me that really turns me on.

even though i get attention from guys i never had a bf because im not really in to them.

basically can what turns u on be different to who you like and are interested in???? it always seems like people are just interested in attractive people and personalities and that turns them on? :S

 

Yes, I am attracted to women only, but I get turn on my gay 'guy' porn. I don't know why but I just do.

I guess to answer your question sexual attraction can be different from physical & emotional attraction.

 

sounds like the gender blind - pansexuality is the key.

 

gay women only in this section please :biker:

 

oh yeah.. didn't notice

 

im not sure what it is. i mean alot of people have fantasies they dont act on. like when your a young teen, like 12, you get can fancy people but without really being in to sex, so is it about emotional attraction and then sex is just fun

 

when I was 12 I wasn't thinking about sex

 

Well.. I think there is a difference between physical and sexual attraction. It's sort of like the difference between cute and hot. I'm gay and when I really like a guy it's mostly because he's physically attractive. But I can't think of him sexually. Even if I try. And then there are the "hot" guys that after.. hmmmmMMmmMMM

 

Yes I think those things can be different.

I think I am sexually bi but romantically lesbian.
While I don't find guys visually attractive, I can find the right personality attractive and can have sex with them. I do not see myself ever being in a relationship with a guy again, too much missing.

Fantasies don't indicate much. People tend to fantasise about the taboo, and often not things they would like to have happen in reality. Guys are pretty taboo for lesbians, and abuse is taboo for a survivor. The difference in the fantasy is the 'victim' is in control. You have noticed this in your fantasies that you get off on the feeling of having power over them (attractiveness)

 

i know fantasies can often be extreme, but dont people have fantasies about just normal sex?
my fantasies are always being dominated by a guy, never a girl, probably cuz it is more realistic and guys are stronger and more sexual. i guess id never think a girl would enjoy raping another girl.
otherwise, how do you know if your straight, bi or gay

 

Straight: When you are only attracted to the opposite sex. Meaning only physically & emotionally.
Bisexual: Attracted to both sexes
Gay: physical & emotionally attracted to the same sex and not attracted to the opposite sex.

 

Well, to me, sexual attraction is physical attraction. You’re attracted to their body/appearance where as with emotional it’s the personality which to me is much more important.

 

The majority of my fantasies are about normal sex, but that could be because I've never had sex before. So whilst normal sex wouldn't be considered an extreme fantasy for most people, for me it is, because it's something I've never experienced, so that naturally makes me have a sense of fascination and curiosity about it which naturally makes me scared and excited. I admit that I have had the abused by men fantasy, though my fantasies in general are dominated by having normal sex in the context of a loving relationship. That probably accounts for around 95% of my sexual fantasies. Though it should also be noted that I have a very low sex drive.

And yep, physical attraction can be totally seperate from emotional attraction. Sexual attraction is really just another way of saying physical attraction though.

 

Hi somegirl123. You're confused at the moment because we live in a society which protects its norms by making you pick between being straight and being gay. You're focussed upon choosing between being gay and straight.

You don't need to choose! I am 42 years old and was always in relationships with men - that is until just over 3 months ago when a relationship with my best female friend turned into the best relationship of my life.

My experience doesn't mean that I didn't get anything sexually from my relationships with men. Yes, I always thought there was something missing and my female partner is more than filling that gap for me. Yet I really enjoyed sex with my male partners and am only just learning how to be a good sexual partner for a woman. In sum? I know that my woman is for me - romantically, emotionally, and spiritually. Sexually, I'm just finding my feet. This is new territory for me as my heart belongs to my woman but my years of fantasies need to find new grounds, new grounds with the woman who truly loves me.

Experts on sexuality (like Kinsey) will tell you that few people are exclusively bi or straight. Some people fall in love with somebody of the same gender and feel the need to validate their choices by identifying as lesbian or gay. (It comes down to maintaining much needed self pride in a heteronormative society.) Sometimes people are primarliy happy in relationships with the opposite sex but have fantasies about being with a same-gendered person. Who is straight, bi, or gay? Who cares?

We're all looking for connection and a lot of our identity comes from who we choose to love. Let your process take you where it does. Don't worry so much about what is fantasy, who attracts you etc. I totally understand the confusion. (Been there and done that.) When you really fall in love, your love for that person will take your focus. You can deal with identity then.

By the way, I'm very happy with being a lesbian right now. There's far more to sexuality than sex.