When do you think is appropriate vs. innapropriate to initiate sexual contact?

Thank you.... for giving me your perspective..

I still feel so awkward and so incredibly unconfident about doing these things the right way without having had the kind of perspective you've had from experience.

 

it doesnt require expierence tho just get out there and be casual and it shall be casual, if you be intimate then it shall be intimate! And you never know, you may end up loving this girl in a few months

 

That's what I am afraid of communicating. Because it's like. "Will I be understood? Or will she be like "OH SO I'M A ONE NIGHT STAND!"

Exactly, I have wandered if it works like this. If that's the case then the prior communication doesn't seem necessary, except in the case where your sure that you don't think anything serious is going to come about or your somewhat sure that nothing is going to happen on a deeper level.

Well know I wouldn't bail out but only because the concept of the one night stand doesn't appeal to me on account of the fact that their isn't exactly a limitless stream of women available to me.

Hmmm. and yet I do feel somewhat like I ought to say or do or imply something. This is so unbelievably complicated.

 

Also somthing someone didnt bring up yet is pregnance, what will you do if she does get pregnant?

 

So If I am casual at the speed dating event it might lead to something casual but if I am more intimacy oriented it might lead to something more intimate?

I don't get what you are saying.

I almost feel like your saying I have to choose which style right up front.

 

Would some women like to provide some input?

 

how the hell do you start a relationship without first having casual sex with a stranger?

probably, but none of it would be true.

 

I don't know. Is it generally thought to be the case that relationships begin with casual sex?

I would like some female input whether it's true or not.

 

Why do I feel like if I initiate sexual contact for the purpose of sex then I am some kind of creep?

Where does that message from society come from?

Is it in all instances when men initiate sex for sex's sake or just some instances.(rhetorical question I know it's not all but I am trying to understand the distinction)

Would somebody help me. Again female input is very welcome especially since I feel a lot of those messages come from women. But I don't really understand those messages. Thank you so much.

 

i don't know what's generally thought, but i don't think i've ever seen an adult relationship start any other way.

 

Actually I don't think it's terribly unusual to date for some time while abstaining from sex until both partners feel ready.

 

have you ever seen it actually happen outside of television?

 

Some people talk about it.

I really wish that if you are female that you would answer the question from first explained in my OP and then explained further so that I can get that perspective and because its the response of females toward my sexual advances that I feel so much fear and confusion toward.

 

Dude you don't need a females opinion on this.

I suggest you go up to a girl and ask if they they want to go out for a coffee and a fuck. The response you get will be all the female opinion you need.

 

It's actually pretty simple, if she's sexually attracted to you it's OK, and if she isn't it's not. That's also the difference between sexual harassment and acceptable behavior.

 

Well how often do you do that?

 

That does seem very harsh and unfair. That is one way of making sense of the ambiguity and confusion surrounding this subject. I do hope that you are not correct.

 

I met this guy at a bar once. We chatted for a while and he asked me to get coffee with him the next day. Upon asking me for coffee, he politely informed me he was only interested in sex and just wanted to use coffee as a prelude.

I'm not really into casual sex so I didn't take him up on his offer, but I didn't find it to be a turn off. I thought it was refreshing that he didn't beat around the bush or play any games. I should have taken him up on it, actually. He was sexy.

Granted, he was from the Czech Republic so his cute accent kept me charmed after the sex invitation, and he had a ridiculous amount of confidence. I'm not sure just any guy could pull off that blunt, to the point attitude.

but yeah, my advice is to put the casual sex intention out there when you invite her to coffee and not during your date. If she wants a relationship and you're just looking for casual sex, things are going to get muddled up as soon as you ask her on a coffee date.

 

Yep, that looks like it's the case though that if you ask out for coffee and then expect her to take the time out of her day that it's annoying to have the idea of just sex thrown at you. Is that common? How often does it happen for you?

But don't you think its harder when your a guy and you have all sorts of contradictory needs? (For example sex -because men are often horny creatures in general- vs. wanting to get to know a person for something more- hopefully- than just sex- plus you know the whole idea of dating "for fun" when fun so often means an ambiguous mixture of relationality and sex.)

Plus is it always the case that a woman will be bothered out on the coffee date?

More answers from women are much appreciated.

 

I hope your dick is as big as your username..