The way adults talk to their kids

I am often bothered by how I hear adults talk to their kids in public. Way differently than they would talk to anyone else, and I don't mean more lovingly. It's always a really condescending immature sort of tone, not all parents do this, and I understand they're kids so you feel you can talk down to them, but they learn to communicate the way you communicate with them. By the way I live in the US, been to every region except Alaska and Hawaii, to give you an idea of my perspective. Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

Passive agression: *annoying high pitch voice meant for the kid to hear* "Uh-oh, Kalib isn't getting in line, I guess he doesn't want a cookie" "I don't see Maggie, I guess we'll leave her here because she isn't coming along!" What are you trying to teach them? To be passive aggressive? That you're full of crap? To make idle threats? I know you're in charge here but you're teaching your kid to act like a douche.

Barking: *harsh nasal voice* "Now you listen when Daddy talks, you come here right now!" You wouldn't talk to anyone else that way, even if you were in charge of them. I know this may be the first time you were completely in charge of someone, but that doesn't mean you have to pretend your a drill sergeant. I know it's pretty well covered that you shouldn't yell at your kids, but I'm not just talking about taking a stern tone, sometimes you should be stern, I'm talking about this dopey commander thing a lot of parents, especially fathers do. Stern and dignified is one thing, being like a jerk from a tv show is another.

Baby talk: "Yaaaay, Yaaaaay, bwee did duh gwood jawb didin bwee" Why can't you talk to a kid in a gentle tone, but still not teach them to talk like an idiot? And why would you imitate a little kid voice when they are supposed to be learning how to talk from you? I'm not saying you have to be like your in a business meeting, but can't you be cheerful, gentle and positive without talking like you have a speech disorder?

Maybe it's people playing roles they got from TV. Doing what they think is expected. Anyway, just thought I'd get other people's views on this. I'm sure I'll get some flack for the criticisms of other parents.

 

Children are just little inexperienced people. Parents that treat them this way, will have the best results.

 

I'm sorry man, but kids are rude these days, my baby cousin try to blackmail me and she only 5 , I don't know what's going on these days. so sad.

Her mother is very strict on her, and I know why, that little girl is crazy.

 

Well when Parents can no longer use corporal punishment to train their litter for fear of being brought up on charges of abuse, there will be some cases where verbal abuse and chastizement are the only remaining options short of simply not having children.

But I do agree, I find it quite disturbing. Personally I'd rather just smack them across the head with a rolled up newspaper when they act like wild dogs. Quick, concise and to the point, no mincing of words. :cheers2:

 

i agree, OP.

but it's probably pretty difficult to raise a kid. i certainly din't want mine to be little brats so if i have to do a bit of 'barking' so be it.

 

"hey little timmy... do you agree with the feds decision to increase their proposed bailout of wall street due toxic sub-prime considerations?? ... .. oh okay, just a dab of whiskey for your milk. no problem" :smoking:

 

I'm not saying you can't talk about things a kid would understand on a kid level. And I'm not saying you shouldn't show disapproval when they do something wrong. It's just odd when people act less mature than they are capable of being because they are talking to their kids. If a dude is always loosing his temper and screaming at other adults and his kids, then that's an overall anger problem, but if he can hold it together just fine around adults, then screaming at his kids shows that he is relaxing his standards around the one person for whom he should be setting the best example. I guess in a way it's the same as when a boss treats his employees less respectfully than he treats other people in his life, your role predicates certain things, telling your employees what to work on, telling your kids when to be home by, but neither means that you can or should treat them like they are less human than people you don't have authority over.

Exactly what I mean :2thumbsup:

 

Education and development depends on good Communication.
Some (so called) adults just haven't got even the most basic of skills doing so.
It isn't a matter of honesty and directness - it is moreover a lack of social skills and shows ignorance in the extreme
What hope for the future? - Well we all have to try

 

at least my children wont end up in jail..

 

I don't understand how a stranger can blame the parents on how the way they speak to their children, your not living with the kid, and most of them are a pain in the ass and don't listen...

In NYC most kids are assholes and need to be sent to boot camp

 

Kids are stupid, thats why.

 

i partially agree with u Pablo. yes it's annoying when pple go "Yaaaay, Yaaaaay, bwee did duh gwood jawb didin bwee". But i'm fine with the other examples u gave.
kids these days are horrible when it comes to being polite and kind-hearted. really, i teach teenagers and let me tell u that the next generation of adults is going to be a bunch of selfish rude people. (and i absolutely love my job and do my best to help educate these kids, but the whole society seems to work in a different direction).
so yea, education is tough.

thats a good sleeping pill lol

exactly

i saw a documentary on boot camps the other day, those are CRAZY

 

No parents should post in this thread.

 

i have a goldfish. we don't communicate like we should.

 

does he give u the silent treatment? pffft, goldfishies

 

sometimes. other times we talk about rambrandt.

 

lol so true, talk to your kids like you would talk to your friends dont shelter the shit outta them

 

It's because when you're a parent and you have to tell a kid the same thing, over and over and over and over and over again before they even start listening, let alone doing what needs to be done, day in and day out - you start to loose patience.

 

That doesn't mitigate your responsibility towards them. You make the decision to have kids, you don't have the right to destroy their future and fuck them up psychologically just because you find them annoying.

 

Mostly wisdom in this thread, though a couple of pearls of ignorance.

I always put it like this: You're not raising a child, you're raising an adult. They just happen to be a child at the moment. Children tend to imitate, not obey.

It all comes down to a fundamental lack of understanding of human development. For decades, perhaps longer, we have known how to raise children as geniuses who can function socially with great comfort. Parents just don't put enough effort into it, simple as that. They don't think "I'd better learn to raise my kids or at least pick up some handy information on how to do so". They don't seem to think at all. Truly frightening times.