Grrrr!! Boyfriend joking about me having sex with his friends!!!Weird!!!

OK as you all know if you have read my other two posts...my relationship with my boyfriend is sorta strained...and just plain odd now days. Maybe he doesnt feel the same, maybe he is cheating or maybe he met someone...you can give me some advice after I tell ya what he has told me.

Ok I use to work with his friend and had a minor crush on him...and another friend of his I went on one date with....but then met him and "fell in love"...more like I fell on my head...hehe, but anyway. Yesterday he started saying weird sh*t like "Ohhh Nick (his friend), is a great lover I hear...wanna have sex with him....and so is Jimmy...I hear he knows how to do it to the ladies...are you sure you dont wanna have sex with him?"...."you know, Nick would probably treat you really well....Jimmy and you have so much in common...and you can do whatever you want, I dont own you"......Ok now what the f**k is up with that...and all this was said in a happy go lucky tone and he brought it up for no reason. Then today I call him on my way home and usually he is super clingy and wants to see me every day...neither of our parents are in town either...and he didnt say anything about seeing me...about him coming over or me going over there...he was like "ok well I will call you later"...and he always has his cell off...grrrrrr......why the hell is he making comments about me being with other guys...damn almost as if he really means those things....I know for a fact he had a hard time breaking it off with his ex...could he be sending me signals?? Any advice?? I am going crazy...and let me add he is usually a super jealous guy.....so I asked him why he was saying those things and he said cuz he was in a good mood....geez.....weirdo....

 

two words:















dump him

 

Oy! Seeing that you mentioned that this relationship is "strained", I would find a quiet time to sit and chat with your boyfriend over this. Before I was married, I was in two open relationships, and never did the topic of friends as potential sex partners come up in the manner you mentioned. Sex outside of the relationship was treated like something truly sacred, and those partners were incredibly special. Just my experience. I view sex as a sacred and loving act.
Seriously, ask your boyfriend what is going on, you will never know otherwise and guessing is just awful.
Kind thoughts to you.
*hugs*

 

well, my ex did stuff similar to that. We went out to the bar for my 19th bday (legal ag here) and his friends hit on me a bunch (they were reeeeeally drunk) and afterwards, he kept talking about them hitting on me and how good it should make me feel. He also told me I should get a gf to experiment with and tell him about.

Personally, I'm hardcore into monogamy. If you're uncomfortable with your guy talking about this stuff, sit down and talk it out with him. I didn't, and I probably should have (there were a number of contributing factors to me breaking up with him though)... if you genuinely want to stay with him, the only way to deal with this is through communication. Just tell him you only want to be with him, not with his friends, not now not ever.

 

Well...I dont think he really meant it...cuz he is super jealous...another weird conversation we had a couple days ago that gave me some insight was about cheating. He considers flirting=cheating...no different from having sex...yet he also thinks if he meets someone and does nothing with her and breaks up with me...that its the same as having sex with someone(cheating) then breaking up with me!! that just doesnt make sense to me...its not the same thing...but he said if he ever meets someone else that he would let me know ahead of time. Soooo...if he F**ks someone else then tells me...there is no difference. Jesus!!! Is he crazy or on something?! When he was talking about his friends he was joking...well he has never really joked like that...but for him to be serious about it...isnt like him either. Lets say I started talking to one of his friends, or went out with them...he would kick my ass to the curb. Which puzzles me as to why he would even talk like that...aware that it was making me angry.

 

Sounds like he is pushing your buttons, which is not a loving thing to do. I have no idea if he is crazy and or on something, but I do know you should be treated with alot more respect. Tell him how you feel, what makes you uncomfortable. If he cannot respect your feelings, re-evaluate the relationship.

 

I once told my boyfriend he could have sex with one of my friends, cause they both like sex so much. It was at the point where we weren't so much strained as growing apart, I sure as hell wouldn't have said it if I was feeling close to him at all. (I'm madly in love with him again and the thought of him doing that sickens me, so I got a pretty good comparison). Just my experience, if that helps you work out what's in his head.

 

That sucks I think he is seeing it to see what you will say. Like he's sorta testing you, (if he is a really jealous guy thats prolly what hes doing). I had a boyfriend who was a jealous guy and he use to say the same things to me about other guys and I'de get pissed off. I mean I could be wrong I don't know this guy but that is what it sounds like to me, he's just being an ass like most guys can be. Talk it over with him and tell him how you feel.

 

dump him you don't need that. any guy who would even joke about me sleeping with one of their friends would never have the opportunity to humor me again.

 

It seems like he thinks you've been slutting around or he is made at you for calling one of his friend's hot or sumtin' (you may have mentioned sumtin' about this but, I just skimmed through your post

 

Hey, I know this is weird, but maybe he has the same fantasy as I do...Maybe he just wants to know you've done other guys. I was the same way with my g/f of almost 3 years, extremely jealous, Now she has sexual freedom in case she wants to have sex with another guy while I'm not there. Just my 2 cents