Finally found a forum I can ask for some advice on. I was straight up until around six months ago when I split up with my then girlfriend at the time and now consider myself bi. Earlier this month I was at a friends place and I got chatting to one of his friends that I hadn't met before, and found we had a lot in common. We met up a few times following that day and out of the blue one-day he kissed me. He apologised and I said to think nothing of it. Later I found myself turned on by it, and the next time I was round his place I kissed him and we shared some amazing kisses. Anyway to cut a long story short, earlier this week we met for lunch and he asked me whether I was interested in having a relationship with him. I said yes I would and it's carried on nicely from there. Now comes my question, he asked whether I would be interested spending the weekend at his apartment. I said yes I would like that, and I'm going there on Sat afternoon. No doubt, it will probably lead to us having sex, and having completely zero experience, I'm very nervous about it all, but also quite excitied. What advice can you guys here give me?
How risky is it not using a condom for oral? I suppose I would feel nervous asking him to wear a condom for that. :blush5:
i think you can get std from oral or something, do you really know him? and once you get std you cant get rid of it(not trying to scare you) http://std.about.com/od/riskfactorsforstds/a/oralsexsafesex.htm
I don't know him that well having only met him for the first time 3 weeks ago, but he's kind of blown my mind since we kissed and him obviously being really attracted to me. I never thought I could be this turned on by a guy either. Ahh ok, thanks for the link. My girlfriends of the past always sucked me without a condom so I assumed it was pretty safe. Suppose not and looks like I'll have to ask him to wear a condom. Something I didn't want to have to do, but looks like I need to. Thanks for responding.
I decided to give him a call about it just now to see what he would say, and he seemed surprised I was asking. He told me he's been tested and is total disease free. He said if I do decide to do it, without a condom is fine. He obviously took that as a go ahead to ask me what I thought about anal sex. I said I wasn't sure, and he said we would definately use protection, and that he'd use butt plugs to stretch and loosen my hole if I was keen. Very nervous.
wow, you talked about this on the phone? I don't even have the guts to talk about sex with my girlfriend, i guess ur not nervous after all. Well I hope you have a good time, and stop thinking/planning, let it just happen when ya'll in the moment, its much better that way.
When it comes to HIV transmission, oral sex is risky. Let me put it this way: I'm the only one among my close friends who doesn't have the virus because I'm very cautious. When it comes to body fluids, you really can't afford to be careless. Fifteen years ago I contracted some kind of tropical virus that almost killed me. Yes I used a condom for penetration, but since I don't "reciprocate," I caught the bug through heavy kissing. Thankfully I survived, but it was very costly since my insurance didn't pay for the whole thing. HIV is not the only demon to ruin your life. That was lesson learned well and done. Nervous about asking? You had better know your priorities.
hott story and a really sweet one. how old is he out of curiousity? and when was the last time he was tested and how many partners has he been with is the next question i'd ask. -----------my advice for you is just to take it slow. sounds like he might be a little more experienced in the anal department if he's talking about butt plugs lol. is he versatile? are you? i would just take it slow...get naked and just cuddle and kiss for a while and feel it out, maybe fondle and have fun with oral...no need to rush in to fucking really. but if you are going to let him fuck you - - - buy a cheap enema/douche thing at walgreens/cvs and clean yourself out beforehand. nothing worse than fuckin a guy and getting shit on your dick...but if it does happen, no biggie....thats part of the territory
the thing is...kissing is VERY unlikely to get you a transmitted disease unless one of the persons have cuts/sores in or on their mouth.... everyone's body is different. some people have higher immunities than other. it is thought that even some still have a makeup where they are completely immune. i've met people that have caught hiv the first time they fucked without a condom and then i've met people who were barebacking A LOT thruout the 80's when the epidemic hit, and they were just lucky enough to never have caught it.....so yea, you do take a risk - who knows what your chances will be
Flu, mono, cold, and herpes can easily be transmitted through kissing. When one of my friends' sores were visible, nobody dared to kiss him. Besides, it's very painful for him to kiss anyone. Plus, it's not a good sight to behold. Actually, I have several friends and relatives with oral and genital herpes. It's a known fact that a person with no symptom can pass herpes. There is no cure for this very painful, tiresome disease, and no one knows when it's going to erupt. So, genital herpes could be transmitted through oral sex. Gonorrhea isn't hard to get through BJ, if a person has an infected throat. Blood is never necessary. If you have rash and/or sore on your lips or around that area of your face, you may want to consider not kissing anyone if you have syphilis. Hepatitis B is contained in sexual fluids, as in pre-cum, etc. Thing is, oral sex is not necessarily safe sex. How many people out there actually check their sex partners' mouths for blisters, cuts, bleeding gum, infected throats, lips rash, lips cuts, puss? How many people check their partners' hands (off topic)? Immune system? Do you really know the state of your immune system on a daily, momentary basis? The immune system fluctuates constantly. Many factors affect it. Everyone is different. But, it's better to be "really" safe than sorry, especially since I have a dream job to fulfill. I'm still alive today partly because of a dream job. I value my dream more than a fleeting sexual encounter. I could also tell you a story about a party back in the '80s..., but I wouldn't want to depress anyone. I'm a gambler, but when it comes to my health, I wouldn't be able to afford it, literally. I see my friends and acquaintances go through draggy paperwork and worse. But, I hear you. I wish you well.
Thanks for the advice guys, much appreciated. I never realised oral sex was risky at all, so thanks for that. I'm 31, and he's 42. I haven't asked him how many partners he's had, but I presume he's had a few as he seems quite experienced in the talking we've had. I've had three gfs over the years and as mentioned in my initial post, this will be my first time with a guy. He's told me he's a top, and says he sees me more as a submissive bottom which I can understand why he'd think that with my general approach.
"submissive bottom" / "top" -- yeah, he's experienced, and it's not just talk. "A few"? He's 42 yro and gay... Hope everything works well and safely for you, DSmith1980.
Thanks. It turned out really well, he was really nice and supportive and I had a really good time with him.
