Am I different? Advice?

I'm nineteen, first experienced the act of love when I was sixteen. It was a magical, enlightening experience, but let me explain some more, since my question is pretty vague and will probably require more details. Sorry if I'm too long-winded.

I've always found it wrong and almost blasphemous to speak crudely. Not so much cuss words, but about making love and human anatomy. I sort of was on the outside of all that as I grew up, so I'm sure my perspective and experiences are different for it. It was never a matter of shame or embarrassment, I just have always thought that such things should retain their sanctity and power and not be profaned. I'm a lean and fit, tall young man with, what I've been told, is a large and thick penis (I prefer the word jadestem), which is bigger than both of my beloved's hand-widths and I would guess to be around ten inches. I've done yoga for several years now and Tai Chi since I was a little boy.

I met my beloved three years ago and was comfortable and inspired enough to explore our love, energy, and bodies. She wasn't a virgin, but according to her own words, she might as well have been. We are both quite 'hippy'ish, to say it the most simply, and although I did bring and fumble with a condom shortly, synchronicity and powerful energies bid us to throw it away. I had been meditating and studying various esoteric things for a while and pretty intensively already, so controlling my energy when making love seemed to come second nature. Some might call it tantra, I suppose, but the two of us made wild, loud, passionate love until, literally, the sun came up. We still make love with the same passion and movements, as well as more, and sans birth control. I have never cast my seed inside the lotus, and very rarely do I do so at all to be honest. When I do, it is with a good deal of care and the two of us definitely acknowledge it. When my 'cup' begins to fill, I breathe, focus, and I flex a muscle that runs down my jadestem and between my legs. It's the same muscle that stops the flow of urine and also what Mantak Chia (my only exposure to 'tantric' sex or anything of the sort being a brief chapter one of his books) refers to. This muscle also allows me to move my penis a good deal, and while deep inside the yoni this has a great effect (especially during an intense, still, meditative penetration). In summation, we enjoy focused love making.
Now, my question

Don't get me wrong, the act of making love is the most enchanting thing I have found upon this great Earth beyond a doubt, and this is certainly expounded by the deep wellspring of love I have for my partner. But I wonder what else it could teach and offer, and where it can bring us. For one thing, I can't say that I've ever experienced an 'orgasm', but that's not to say I haven't been in a state of sublime ecstasy and bliss. My partner, bless her, on the other hand, is flooded with them. Whatever the position (although some certainly are better), she moves and moans, screams and scratches, and sometimes even shakes. She tells me regularly after we separate that her body is numb or 'electrified'. She gets uncontrollably loud and her yoni will do this contracting thing that I like to describe as 'pulling me in'. She also tells me that she hadn't experienced these with other men. I haven't made love with another woman and I don't know if retaining my seed is to blame, but I've never felt the waves of energy and general magic that she describes to me. It's certainly not that it's not exciting (although I am curious about oral sex, and she quite the opposite). Another point worth mentioning is the duration of our love making, and I swear that I don't exaggerate. It is normal for us to make love all night. On one memorable occasion we began at sunset and found ourselves breathing heavily to the sunrise. She is significantly more affected on an energy level by this than I, although in some instances the both of us are sore and low energy. Never have we made love in less than an hour, I'm sure of it.

Is this weird? Am I missing something? Is there another aspect of tantra that I am (or she is) missing? Is she a really good actress? Any advice or commentary would be much appreciated!

 

I thought this was implied, but I thought it might be important to clarify that I also don't masturbate. I have a few years back, and got no enjoyment out of it whatsoever, only an awkward strange feeling...It feels much different when she touches me, but even then there is minimal jerking and jacking.
Just another reason I'm different, but maybe it has some bearing on my seeming lack of sensitivity?

 

You seem overly fucking sensitive to me..... that was only a half joke. Don't confuse western guilt with eastern mysticism. I've seen plenty of that in New Age circles. It's almost like people who meditate and burn sage and seek out a guru who end up stuffing their anger instead of releasing it.

The other thing I have to ask is:
Have you ever heard of the middle path?

Sure tantric "Spiritual" sex is great but so is the old "up with the skirt down with the panties bent over the couch thing". It doesn't have to be one or the other. There are so many beautiful shades in between and I've had alot of them and they were all good for different reasons. Too much abstaining from ejaculation can be bad for you. One of the leading causes for prostate problems is disuse. All of the parts of semen that aren't sperm are produced by the prostate. After a certain age men are encouraged to ejaculate at least once a week for prostate health.

Also you are only 19 years old so of course you are missing things. You have been in a relationship since you were 16 with the same person and think that you will spend the rest of your life with them (I've been there). Chances are you won't.

All I can tell you is live life. There are plenty of opportunities and experiences to have.

Stay Brown,
Rev J