I got married very young when my husband was still in law school. we were wild and open minded kids when we met but soon settled down. He was the first guy to make me feel safe and secure after coming from a tough childhood. I love Tim very much and we had a daughter just a year after we got married. I was at home with my daughter most of the last nineteen years and my husband worked long hours in his law practice. I have always been very happy I married Tim but didn't feel understood. When I tried to communicate this it created tension, so I settled for 90% fulfilled and figured I was doing better than most. Tim loves me very much and is a very good lover but just isn't the sensitive type and doesn't have lots of patience. My daughter went off to college two years ago and somehow being alone with Tim magnified our differences in my mind. We had more tension in our marriage than before and though we now were the only two people in the house we communicated less. I met Chad two years ago at Starbucks. He is a writer, divorced and not looking to settle down again. We quickly became friends. He is much more sensitive than Tim and a great listener. We don't share the love Tim and I do but share a great intimacy that I never had with my husband. Chad gradually evolved from friend to flirt to boyfriend. I wasn't totally comfortable being with Chad at first because I loved Tim and am loyal by nature. After months of long conversations, deep friendship, flirting and teasing it happened. Chad and I had a couple drinks and next thing our clothes are off. This went on once or twice a week for six months. Chad works from home and Tim was gone during the day, so it was easy but I didn't feel good about my secret. Somehow I got the courage to tell my husband most of what went on and that I had a boyfriend. After he got over his initial anger and shock, we had our first heart to heart talk in years. Tim was so surprised because our marriage and sex life had been the best it ever was those six months. He admired my courage for confessing and agreed to let me continue to see Chad as long as everybody was happy. Well I have been very happy and totally fulfilled by two different men meeting different needs. I keep both relationships completely separate but don't hide anything. Both my full time husband and part time boyfriend are extremely happy and I make sure all there needs are met. I have Tim to protect and comfort me and Chad to to confide in and understands me. The last two years have been the most honest and open years of my adult life and I wouldn't ever want to be without my husband or my boyfriend.
Maybe that she was a deceptive cheater and this Tim didn't seem to give a crap that she is an untrustworthy wife? Cause that's what got me.
It disgusts me that people are unable to live as their own person, everyone's so needy, needing people to fill in parts of their lives all the time, it's pathetic. If people worked more on themselves with themselves then they would find that they don't actually need others to be happy, then when they do find someone they can actually be happy instead of always needing more more more. And instead of communicating and working things out, people prefer to just run around behind people's backs and get what they want. It's all about what people want nowadays, it sickens me to my soul how selfish and needy everyone is, how they hold what they want higher than what they need. It's so annoying imagining Tim going off to work all those fucking hours to keep a family going, just for you to sponge off him and go and fuck someone else. Bravo. Loyal by nature my arse.
Agreed. Really really annoys me also, he must feel so un-needed and unwanted, but you still take a home, food & security off of him.
If the involved parties are happy with the arrangement then there's no problem for me to whine about. Congratulations! Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk
Hilarious comments! You can read between the lines just how jealous those people are - suck it up! The OP got exactly the life she wanted. And Tim probably also has a nice young secretary to get under his desk during those long hours and sweeten his days
No, I quite like having a loyal girl; and if we ever were to open things up, I would kinda like to know beforehand. Don't try to read people, you suck at it.
^ What Duck said. It was the deceit that is bothering people, open relationships are fine but it is not fair to conduct them yourself without your partner knowing. Their relationship sounded empty and unfulfilling, underlined by the fact that not a lot of caring was going on one way or another, except caring about what they wanted for themself. That's called selfishness.
