A TINY PRAYER: Deep in the folds of my love ´s embrace, I bide my time, waiting for the hurt to heal. One by one I pick up the pieces of my shattered soul and then, like a frightened child, I hold them up to the mother of my love, to kiss them and make me whole again! *** RAPTURE: Pangs of hope near asphyxiate me. The thrilling dance of the chase disorients me. Will she step undaunted into the void of untold futures? Or will she remain shakled to the fears of past misfortunes? Is love enough? Shall we eat sandwiches smeared with kisses? And drink each others´hunger for one another? Let´s walk on air and let the gentle winds of fate take us where they may. Let´s crown the jester and caution be damned! The blinding certainty of faith shall save the day. Fools´ love shall lead the heavenly choirs. Onwards and upwards marches the blesséd twain! *** A HOBO´S PRAYER: At the end of the rainbow, you´ll find a place called home. This was prophesied me long ago, by a wise old garden gnome. +++ I´d put my trust in my knackered nag, to lead me to this promised land. When one day I met a leprechaun, whom I begged for a helping hand. +++ Aye, he said, I know it well! It lies next to my pot of gold, but sell that rocking horse, is my advice, if I may be so bold. +++ So I´ve been going nowhere soon, since forever and a day. I´ll offer you the silvery moon, if you´ll just show me the way!
There's no real flow to the first two. They are stereotypical at times and other than the word-choices I see nothing poetic about them. Just separating thoughts Among multiple lines Does not make it poetry The third one fits the genre better, though the flow is still troubled in the second stanza. You have some good concepts, some good wording (particularly in the second). I would just suggest for you to write/think "out loud" and read your poems out loud to work on the flow. Also, reading poetry can help. I suggest Edgar Allan Poe, as he was the master of structured flow, Robert Seymour Bridges was great also. I can't think of any suggestions for less structured flow at the moment.
