Gay Bashing Friends...

I'm gay and well feel like I can't help it, or don't really want to anyways because it's been a good time. I've grown up most of my life being unsure of my sexualitiy and gathered a few best straight friends. Anyways they say some awfully rude stuff about gays (now I admit I've told a few gay jokes but I just love dirty jokes) But. I can't deny that I'm gay anymore

They even joke about me cause I was caught in a dark room with my best (bi) friend. Well I came up with a clever excuse and I still hang out with them.Well anyways I feel like should try to forget them. They've only liked me when I was being someone I wasn't and in denal. Still there has been so many good times but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't accept me. I hate to just sit there and feel insulted so what would you do?

 

Maybe they really want a gay friend and this is how they get over not having one, by saying nasty things about them..

you should just jump out and say "Surprise Im a homo" they will either laugh and except you or move on and forget you..... Giggle if it works, move on if it dont..

There are plenty of gay people that are always looking for new friends..

 

its puddin time..

 

Lol your response made me laugh. I've been feeling rather crazy lately so yeah I'd love to see the look on their faces if I just jumped out and said "surpise I'm a homo!". But I'd prolly lose my nerve right before doing such a thing. Oh and Puddingtame is a reference to a Gary Larson comic which for some reason I've always found very amusing.

 

Welcome to Hip Forum.

have your friends shown any violence towards Gays or is it just joking?... Every one tells jokes about things they dont understand..
And too, other friends may be waiting for the moment to say something too about their true sexuality..

 

Thanks for the greet. Well anyways they haven't shown any violence but I'm very sure they'd feel uncomfortable around a gay. My friends all got girlfriends and one even has a baby. Still they never said anything that indicated that they would want to hurt gay people. I guess things aren't feel harmful to me in particular still I really don't feel like listening to that bashing anymore. Or if they're not bashing they are trying to hook me up with some girl which I have no interest in which, is always an akward situation to talk myself out of.

 

Eh why do they need to know if they find out its whatever but why do they need to know. Ur 23 what people think about u shouldn't still matter. Those who matter don't mind those who mind don't matter

 

Because unfortunately, if you're gay, most people will just assume you're straight unless you tell them otherwise. The OP has said that he has found himself in awkward situations where friends have tried to set him up with girls, when he obviously isn't interested. It is sad, but I think if you are gay, keeping quiet about that could make your life extremely difficult. There's countless gay people in similar situations to the OP who have ended up in unwanted relationships with the opposite sex just to keep their true sexuality a secret.

Though you are right that the people who would mind him being gay are not important, and don't matter.

 

he can just say no he does not owe them a reason

 

Tell them your not into girls , then when they give you a funny look and ask why , just smile , and ask how come your sex life is such a big deal to them.
its hard to get pissed at someone who just smiles and acts dis-interested.
They will figure it out , then you will see who your REAL friends are.

 

Friends don't hurt friends so try to hang around people who aren't hurting you. You gotta give them a chance to come around but if it continues to the point where you feel so uncomfortable then you should find new people.

 

Kind of irrelevant in the end.

30s, you have to concentrate more on career, secure your future, which usually means more work hours, less time for at most a handful of close friends, if not just 2 or 3

At the same time everyone gets more snooty about unrelated stuff; they'll get pissier at you if you earn a lot more than them, have a better job, nicer car yada yada

So not only will you not have much time for most straight people, but not all that much time for other GLBT-ers. If you are a fem guy, ah fuck it, I only have time for other fem guys. If you are a butch guy, fuck it, I only have enough time for other butch guys etc. All that kind of thinking.

Plus they all turn into mutants anyway, some couple you were worried about coming out to at 23, by 33 you'll have to hide after they both give you that look that makes you feel like you've landed on the set of Deliverance

 

This is a gay way to do it and will definitely make some awkward moment. Making it a joke or fun thing is the way to go for real. If they are your true friends, they wont care! Seriously. You know who would care and who wouldn't. I would tell the ones you know wont get dumb about it and not tell the others. When you tell the good friends, tell them not to tell the others because they are immature. Then when your friends do tell your other ones they will take it more seriously and not act immature in order to prove they are mature.

Giggling and smiling while being quite is going to let their minds wander and it will make them think all sorts of different things, like maybe you are into them. Joking about it makes them feel like its not a big deal and that what friends do! Joke about themselves/their friends.

Seriously, if someone told me they were not into girls and smiled at me I would think they were flirting. Then it would be quite and super awkward for me.

 

Well guys thanks for all the replies, was on vacation with my bf so I haven't been around for a bit. I like him so much that I guess I really don't care what anybody else thinks about it, still don't feel like flaunting it in person though.

Anyways I did hangout with my straight friends who laughed at my travel destination (San Francisco) and companion. Well I actually laughed a bit because it sounded a little cliche'. Laughingly I asked them if it was really such a big deal and they just said no not really. Guess I just get a little sensitive at times especially when I drink a lot. They like to joke just about everything that isn't quite "normal" oh and also racial sterotype jokes. But I know they ain't really racist for an example one of us is black and he just gives his own really funny jokes back too.