Telling my boyfriend the sex isn't good

And, of course, him.

 

Wow, you're so right. I say this aaalll the time.

Contrary to your misogynist world view, we aren't all just looking for a good screw and someone to foot our bills... Of course I can't speak for all of us (that's kind of the point- us all being individuals, not just one cock-and-money-hungry collective), but my female friends and I have a little more self-respect and drive than that.

Which is not to say that sex and fiscal responsibility shouldn't factor into a relationship somewhere- just not so exclusively as that.

 

Both sexes are money hungry. That is not a shallow perspective either. Its not about money itself, but that money means security. More important as you get older, start to worry more about what happens if he ends up having to have a triple bypass, or you have to spend a year on chemo and then need new boobs (knock on wood you never have to). Or shit, we better put the kids in a good college so they end up having a decent salary and can more easily look after us near the end.

Not that anything in life ever really goes to plan.

But this sentiment of "Oh, I dont want to commit to a life of bad sex". Do you all seriously think you are going to be able to stick to the one guy for the next 40/50 years? Do you think any of them do? Because what they all say out loud must be the truth?

 

You should make him understand his in proper way. sure he will be accept your request.

 

I would be like at dinner or somethinng start massaging him or something and be like I really want some rough sex tonite hunny? Do you think you could get rough and just bang me hard? If he shys back from that maybe he isnt the right one. Maybe have a giant dildo out there and accidentally leave it on the bed so he might get in the head I need to size up or try something new. It would not hurt my feelings if a girl did that to me.

 

You need a friend on the side that can take care of your business

 

You're more cynical than I am...

 

You should watch porn together find one that looks like it would be fun for you and watch it with him and then you can be like ooo baby that looked hot lets try that.

 

Why don't people talk about what we like and don't like, or take the initiative to practice with each other. In life, we take the time to learn many things, why don't we learn or get taught how to fuck properly. Talk, learn and practice, if that cannot be done nothing else is going to work.

 

Because most people are raised to think that sex is dirty, wrong, or for the 'holy' purpose of procreation and consider the issue taboo to talk about...

Although it would be better if people did start to do these things (talk, experiment and learn), you have to keep in mind that those who were raised that way, and have been in a marriage for 40 years of bad sex, can't really broach that subject very easily...

This is why you should just be open and honest with what it is that you want in a partner(s) from the start and stay that way....

After a couple of years of "Oh honey, the sex is great", coming out with "Well really, I haven't ever had an orgasm with you" just won't go over well... lol

Another side of that is that you should have enough empathy to know when your partner(s) are happy or unhappy AND enough respect for your partner(s) that you are honest with them.

 

I've always taken it as a compliment if a guy can't last a long time with me. You take it as a compliment and then work with it.

Its really all about being responsive to one another and communicating with each other during sex. If he's about to get off he needs to learn how to let you know so that you guys can slow it down until he calms down.

 

lol

Guess it is impossible to be 100% compatible, both sexes hook up with the best available/possible at the time and many fail to continue to grow and develop, or grow and develop differently, especially in regard to sex.

Guess there are boundaries that some will dare not cross, though most boundaries can be crossed with learning and knowledge.

 

lol

Guess it is impossible to be 100% compatible, both sexes hook up with the best available/possible at the time but most fail to continue to grow and develop, especially in regard to sex.

Guess there are boundaries that some will dare not cross, though most boundaries can be crossed with learning and knowledge.

 

Thank you all so much for your posts. As one person has pointed out, this is my first post and I was not sure what to expect. I'm happy to see the genuine responses and I'm grateful for all of them. Since it seems like there are people on here who have experienced - or know someone who has experienced - a similar situation let's keep this going. For those who remain interested, I'll keep you updated. I'm taking the advice some of you have given me about lubricants. I definitely can't wait much more and I'm going to go to the drug store and buy those damn long-lasting-something-or-other lubricated condoms.

Getting him to go twice a day is a good idea that someone mentioned. He pretty much gets hard at the touch of me but twice in a short period of time (about an hour) is usually difficult. He went to the urologist to have his testosterone levels checked but all is good there.

He goes in and out of smoking cigarettes for months at a time, and swears that the cigarettes slow down blood flow and make it harder for him to control his orgasms. I'm skeptical. has anyone ever heard of this?

 

Clarification at your request!
Staying hard is not the problem - he always finishes. We are hoping to find a way to delay his orgasm so that we can spend more time having sex and be able to do more things.

You're right. We're not having sex enough and I may be unrealistic with wanting him to perform longer. I'm not asking him to "fuk as hard as possible" the whole time but i hardly ever get a fast fuk. Having more sex is something we both want but we're so thrown off by the unsettled feeling of short sex that it's often hard to get started : / we need to freakin relax!

 

In that case simply have sex, have sex, have sex, and keep having sex, and I think the problems will work themselves out.

Also, don't listen to anything backdoorman says. He's a plague upon this forum.

 

hmmmm, maybe stop having penetrative sex and just focus on touching and kissing and stuff. Slow it right down so that you are teaching him to pleasure you, rather that chase after his own gratification.

Get him used to being in a sexual moment and wanting to remain in it. When he is comfortable with this then maybe start to penetrate again.

The problem might be because he was brought up in a household where sex was considered something a bit dirty or wrong, and he wants to get it over with as soon as possible due to an unconscious fear of being caught?

A good indicator of this is how he masturbates. Does he do it freely and in front of you. Does he enjoy the build-up and try and remain on the edge for as long as possible?

Or does he just bang it out as quick as he can whilst locked in the bathroom?

I would say that it is better to try and fix the root problem, than rely on creams, condoms and pills.