I have a new girlfriend of two months. Everything is great with this girl, she's caring, understanding, hot as fuck etc etc. We have one problem. Our sex life. Now im pretty sure its mainly my problem, before her id never been in a relationship and the only sexual experiences i had were when very drunk. The simple fact is, she cannot make me orgasm. Now this wouldnt be so much of a problem for me as i can simply enjoy it without coming and i dont feel dissatisfied at all. However it causes huge problems for her, and her ego. She can be going down on me for up to 2 hours non stop, to the point where she develops a lisp without me orgasming. She then gets frustrated, almost angry and just turns over and goes to sleep. Its causing problems in other parts of our relationship as well (such as her getting paranoid i will start looking elsewhere for me orgasms). I feel at a complete loss. I was friends with her for a long time before getting together and have huge feelings for her, desperate not to lose her over something like this. Does anyone have any advice?
Ummmm....a rather personal question , but , couldnt you lend her a hand , so to speak , while shes down there ? I mean , if you are able to get yourself off , then, maybe if you did so while shes doing what shes doing...maybe it would work ?
yeah, since when is it her responsibility to bring you to orgasm? anyone that believe that it's their partner's responsibility is delusional.
i think there's other sex positions you can do w/ your partner? Maybe she's not doing it right or something, you should be able to communicate with her.(For some people it takes a while to orgasm) I can understand how your girlfriend can get mad tho, I would be pissed if i couldn't get my girl to orgasm. Out of ideas? Then fake the orgasm
Unless there's constant, quite fast tongue work on my clit I'm not going to cum from oral either, and that's after being worked up until a point if it's just oral sex. You should probably employ some other activities to help you reach that point before she goes down on you. 2 hours of head is kinda cruel. =[
Absolutely. I struggle to orgasm with a new partner initially. It takes a while to relax enough to be able to come. Maybe make yourself come for a few sessions with her, then it should become easier to orgasm with her. Think like how guys get erectile dysfunction due to anxiety with a partner, could well be the same type of problem here.
Seems like the most sensible advice on offer. Could it be though that you're so in love with her and therefore so scared of losing her it's causing you anxiety which is manifesting itself in this way? Whatever you do talk it through and while getting drunk is great fun it aint gonna solve this particular problem ...
Also, if you masturbate (to orgasm) frequently and regularly, orgasms come much more easily. Be sure to try different techniques, too. If you're going for hours and you still aren't having an orgasm, then what she is doing is not what your body wants, and so you probably need to try different techniques.
Why not masturbate while she's watching, then guide her as you and she both get into it, maybe then she'll learn what works for you... another thing may be that you're holding up barriers in your mind that prevent your once friendship from advancing into another level, thus fearing a loss of the friendship...basically, relationships aren't without risks, such as life... let go of the barrier, dwell not of what may be the worst, and focus on the joy of being together, channel that love into each other, and not worry about any such climax, but rather take it as it comes(no pun intended). You may also want to look at Trantric sexual energy... it transcends most other sexual practices turning regular sex into sacred sex, which can be mind blowing for both of you.
