Well, after a good 11 weeks in rehab, and more suboxone that ive ever seen in my life, I tried today for the first time to not take suboxone. Before rehab I was bordering 600mg of oxycodone a day(Roxi 30s), and after I spent a income check of $2,400 in less than a week, I finally knew it was time for rehab. Well here I am, close to 14 weeks being clean(been out of rehab 3 weeks), and now that I'm down to 2-4mg of suboxone strip a day, I decide today to sell my scrip for the month to a friend who needs help detoxing. He can't go to rehab because he's a highly powered man in Kentucky, so I hooked him up. Now I'm left with no suboxone, and the only thing that runs through my mind is the taste of those 30s, and I cannot seem to get the devil out of my mind. I think what bothers me more is I have a good chunk of cash, due to selling the strips, and my mind is used to converting cash into pills. It's gonna be hard not to relapse today, as it seems the devil has already found me(friend texted, just back from Florida), and while I have an angel on one shoulder telling me to putty guard up, the devil is on the other shoulder telling me one day of fun won't hurt.... What to do? Lol
That's true man, I want to smoke bud, but I'm my town, bud is extinct, and hillbilly heroin(oxycottin) is abundant lol I'm doing good I've been up since 9am with nothing, and it's 4pm here, but it just seems to keep growin on me lol
DONT DO IT. You should of kept some subs for yourself. IF relapse does happen. The addict in you, partially set that up to happen. I know how hard it is to go without anything at all but it can be done. When can you get more subs?
Stay strong and stick with it you know as well as I do that its a slippery slope getting back into the cycle of using. You know your better staying away and saving that extra cash or at least spending it wisely.
