My vision (Deep meditation insite)

Today I purchased probably the most important tools I've ever come across in all of my meditation techniques, earplugs! and what incredible results!

Without the constant distraction of sound I could deeply enter my mind and my inner being.. Previously today I've done every other preparation, (Cleared my airways through jogging, steam therapy, did stretches, ate good, well hydrated etc) So I had absolutely no distractions... Here is the sad revelation I came up with.

As it began I did the stages of meditation I usually do. With each breath I became more relaxed and absent of thought, But I could hear my breath so clearly with the earplugs it sounded like the wind blowing through a mountain top, a gentle breeze that cleared out all of my thoughts as if they were blown away.

But eventually my eyelids flickered a bit and I caught a glimpse of my doorway, I "saw" a demon.. standing there as my mind filled in what it could not recognize at first. I was a bit frightened so I thought about it while I continued my meditation, I was very disturbed by this thought.

I reasoned that I must have a demon inside of me, one that I never wanted to unleash upon the world and thus my reasoning for why I had always been shy and slow to warm up to people throughout my life...

But my subconscious wouldn't have it... I continued to recess back into my mind and I saw nothing more than a scared little boy, hiding in a ball all by himself... It wasn't that I was evil... it was that I was still this scared little boy...

For on the outside I saw demons... my brain felt demons.. but on the inside It was just me... just a scared little boy.

My ego right now is crushed... it all makes so much sense, I've been frightened all these years.. possibly from a poor childhood filled with fear and anger... So.. Although I've gone through all the things that have eaten me up inside since I was a child... I still haven't let go of my fear... I still cling to it like a leech on flesh.

I'm going to go meditate some more... this was intended to help me be more productive at the beginning, but I'm going through some precious ground right now.

 

Cool, I bad tripped on acid a few times when I was a teen and that experience led me to meditation. My experience of 'The Devil' was that it was a weak and cowardly state of mind, not the powerful Lucifer that signs away people's souls and all that. I think you have experienced something worth knowing. The devil and demons are the weakest most scared parts of ourselves, that which we do not wish to own, and so we pretend and believe it is something and somewhere else.

But it's also worth clarifying to oneself where this 'inside' or 'outside' might lie.

More importantly I think it's important to understand the things that happen in the brain and that the brain at least mirrors thought if not entirely giving rise to it. So it's important to understand especially the three main endocrines the serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine and how they create states of bliss and fear.

 

wow. that's far out