So, one of my friends and I were talking yesterday about our past relationships. She mentioned how every guy she's ever dated has gotten better and better and each guy treated her more and more like a princess. That's when I realized that really isn't the case for me. Not that it's a bad thing. I've had that treatment before: the whole "like a princess" deal. Personally, I don't want that. I don't like it. I just don't feel like I deserve it. I'm no better than them. I'm not a princess, I'm their companion. I would much rather be picking on each other, wrestling in the floor, chilling with his friends, than being taken out to dinner and pampered. It just makes me feel weird. No thanks. If I want to be pampered, I'll pamper myself. I'll go out with a girlfriend or fix myself a hot bath. I just don't feel right with the guy doing all that for me. What's the point? to make me feel special? I feel special when he treats me like his best friend and lets me chill with him and his friends, or just chilling at home and watching a movie together. I guess I can kind of see why a girl would like it. I dunno... how do you ladies feel about being "treated like a princess"? And guys? How do you prefer your ladies? One of the guys or pampered like a princess?
Seems to me the discussion is based on preference; you seem to prefer quality time while dating someone and enjoy spending this time on more day to day things. That's cool, that's about who you are and what makes you comfortable. Others who prefer pampering while dating get some kind of comfort out if as well. It's just a different style from yours. There is always a middle of the road also, you can allow yourself to be pampered periodically and learn to be pampering in return. Cheers
I understand that. I was just wanting to hear some input on other people's preferences and why they prefer one over the other.
I hate the princess thing...probably because I'm more of a man then most men I date. The princess thing is petty and ridiculous in my opinion. If it works for someone, so be it, but that's just called spoiled not a friggen princess. Princesses are what girls love when they're 3-4. haha
yea. Being treated like a princess when girls are really young, I believe, is what makes them enjoy it when they're older. I hate the princess complex that is given to children at a young age. Maybe it's harsh, but I'll never treat my daughter like a princess or tell her she can have anything she wants. She's no better than anyone else to work for it. But back on track. I totally feel you on that. I don't understand when girls demand to be treated like a princess or are unhappy when they aren't. Get over it. Why can't you just hang out with your man and be happy? Don't you feel like he treats you well enough by hanging out? Why can't you just be happy doing that? I understand that a lot of guys enjoy doing that for their women. And that's fine. It's just not something I enjoy much. It just feels weird and absurd to me.
Uhm yeah, when they feel so entitled to it they demand it they have a problem with me for sure. When it comes naturally it feels great to spoil someone at times (and to be spoiled like a prince of course) That being said, I would feel guilty as well if I'd got too spoiled (never happens though..) and I can't stand girls who think they should be treated like princesses anyway (like if we're so emancipated why have I always to pay for dinner ). So for me it's something in between but leaning a bit towards 'one of the guys'.
I have a friend that is like that. She constantly goes back to the same loser and then cries when he isn't buying her diamonds and taking her on lavish vacations and whatnot. Spoiling and pampering once in a while is nice and makes a woman feel loved, but constantly opening your wallet to make a woman happy is absurd. Life is a lot more than material items and spending
I agree completely. There was a girl I went to high school with who had a 3 inch binder of her wedding plans. Not only that, she had each piece of jewelry she wanted her man to buy her designed already. Not that every girl that likes to be treated like a princess is like that. My friend mentioned in the OP is one of the least high maintenance and most independent girls I know. I was actually kind of surprised when she mentioned loving being treated like a princess. She doesn't demand it, she just enjoys being pampered. Nothing wrong with that. I just realized then that I don't like it so much. I prefer chilling with my guy and his friends over my guy taking me shopping, chilling at home with a good movie over him taking me out to dinner. I dated a guy that treated me like a princess. He waaaaay overdid it. Roses every single holiday and nearly every special occasion. Jewelry. He paid for everything. If he couldn't pay, we didn't do it. I feel like I should have appreciated it more than I did, but it came to be expected, old, and somewhat fake. Like he tried to hard because he felt like that was how he was supposed to be.
I never like to use the word loser outside of a competion really but yes I can't help feeling that word coming up when I see couples like that (even if they're both ok with it...)
Its called co-dependancy. And like anything, too much is a bad thing. Especially when you lot go on to be mums, super organized, ready to cut of a mans head, lift up a truck to protect your childs life, the little princess routine doesnt cut it anymore. The guys are more likely to want to marry one like you
It's complicated because sometimes I find women who are unavailable and self-serving sexier than women who are "one of the boys"... I would not know, because I hardly ever pampered women in life...if anything, women have paid my way much more often. But, sometimes, I figure women with princess-complexes would also feel the need to "treat me like a man", and boost my ego in many ulterior ways, none the least of which by being accommodating in bed and by allowing me my "boys night outs". This is mainly a guess, because like I have said, I usually deal with the princess-complex ironically at best, and sometimes making use of outright male chauvinistic bullying and horse-play. It's probably been my loss, but I feel almost helpless to play the role of the caterer. Even when I do well (in my date's perspective) I feel completely drained and exhausted from the effort. It's much easier to seek unforthcoming ways to get princesses in bed as a fantasy, rather than as full-blown relationships, as suspicious as I am of the ability of "one-of-the-guys" girls to satisfy me with their "true love." ------------------------------ Edit: I should also mention that I've had repeated experiences in which girls who started out as "one of the boys", suddenly became obssessionally concerned with the fact that "we only had sex" and I never "took them out." And who were also more possessive than the women in my life who would fit the "princess" slot. Indeed, one of the attractive characteristics of the princesses in my life had been that, since they were walking gender roles themselves, they were more prone to accept my wish to entertain other women as a biological fact of manhood (notwithstanding the fact that they also appeared to me more promiscuous). This is probably why I would give princesses the benefit of the doubt, in spite of how bad it looks to me at first blush.
Actually, I've never really had a problem with either of these, I don't feel like. I always try and do give and take in the bed. It's not about me, nor is it all about him. It's about us and I want to make him feel good. And I've never had a problem with guys nights. Not only is it good for him, it's a good time for me to take time for myself, clean, gather my thoughts, just have some me time. that's really sad. Cause "one of the guys" girls may be hard to win sometimes, but (from what I've seen) they're significantly more genuine. A lot of girls that love to be pampered will up and leave as soon as she finds a guy that will pamper her more. Not all are like that, but they're much more likely to be like that. well, that's where the foundation of your relationship comes into play. If you have a stable foundation and trust each other as much as you should, then none of that will be a problem.
no woman actually wants to be treated like a princess, at least not by her boyfriend. hence the whole "don't put the pussy on a pedestal" mantra. as a guy, i prefer a girl who is genuinely like one of the guys, but certainly not one who is making an effort to come off that way even when she's not. expecting people to sit at their computers logged into HF's relationship forum just waiting for you to post so they can answer your post without even taking the time to read it would probably count as wanting to be treated like a princess.
Actually, I've met many women who do. No need to get your panties in a wad. I was only trying to keep it active in the news feed.
yeah, i mistyped that. they don't want to be treated that way by a potential boyfriend, but once a relationship begins the guy is supposed to completely change his personality in order to become just like all the other guys who she shot down in favor of this one.
Totally agree here. The whole "princess" thing in regards to buying you things and going out on expensive dates is juvenile. My man treats me like a princess in the way that he gives me back rubs if I've had a long day, always has one packed up when I get home :ssmokeit: and understands that sometimes I'm just plain bitchy. But I also treat him like a king in return. It goes both ways, if you want to be treated like a princess, treat your man like a king!
