My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now, and he says he's very sure about wanting to marry me and spend his life with me...however, we both have had bad situations at home. My sister being an addict, and me staying home to take care of her child, while he has a mother who is an alcoholic and living with his grandmother a bit of a distance away from me. Neither of us have cars or are experts on the 3-4 buses and a train that we'd need to get to each other so we have gone two months without seeing each other. Now, he wants me to move into his grandmother's house when my sister gets out of rehab. Then he's going to school and looking for a job. He wants to wait to even be engaged until he gets basically his dream job and we're settled in our own place. I'm a little old fashioned and I don't really know if it's worth getting out of my situation (no matter how crappy it can be) if I might end up pissing off my family and/or spending years with him and not getting the kind of commitment I want. Every time it comes up he says "Someday" and he knew in the beginning what kind of relationship I wanted. He gets pissed off at me when I get upset and bring this up. It's been brought up several times and it doesn't really get resolved. Am I wrong for wanting this? Moving in together is a little far off, and I'm not expecting him to propose any time soon, just before we move into our own place. I'm not demanding marriage right away either, I just want to know it's going to happen for us.
About the only thing I can think of worse that a guy could say to you about moving in with him, would be if it was his mom he was living with... and I'm not really sure there is much of a difference.... (not to be confused with kids who are looking after their parents). There's nothing wrong with him wanting to have life on track before getting married, except that living at home with his parents (or grandparents), no car, no job, no education, no future except plans... and he is asking you to move in with him???? It is your life and you are free to do as you wish of course... but you really should be wishing for better for yourself. Oh, and the part about him getting pissy about you asking him about it, when you say you made it clear from the start... thats another red flag...
I'm with Tom, I think I'd try and hold off on this. Be sure you have a safe place to land before you, "jump".
just remember. being young in a relationship is different than being old in a relationship, especially if people raise kids together. it is best to not marry till you are at least 30 in my opinion. now days with the high divorce rate I think more people should stay as a close couple but not marry for a while.
Why are you so anxious to get married? No offense, but I remember you mentioning issues with your last boyfriend to whom you were engaged. You're 19, you have all your later life to be married/engaged. You're so young, don't worry about now.
