I don't know where to start. This is a ranting section. Hear me out, i just need to put this somewhere. 4 year's ago, my high school sweet heart dumped me, needless to say, my life has been a slow roller coaster downhill ever since. The same feeling's, the same attitude to life, my mannerism's have stuck, and now i'm paying the price. 20 year's old, living with a newly separated mother of two. I feel completely useless, i cant find work and have exhausted my local job resource's, it's come to the point where it's too embarrasing for me to step in there, seeing the same job accountant's week in and out, no employer will hire me it seem's. I live in NY. Idk.. i feel as if there's nothing for me, it's scary, quite scary, but it seem's i've lost hope. I'm frustrated beyond word's, mainly with myself for letting so many opportunities pass me by, and am guilt ridden because of it. Most day's i wonder how my ex is doing, and i long for someone to talk to. She was that person in my life, and has'nt been replaced since. It's not okay to be this lost.. i do not want to loose anymore time doing nothing, i've done that for 10 year's of my life, i feel like i'm wasting away.. and that's what hurt's the most, i've spent a majority of my life wasting away in front of a computer, and in between that whole time i've had a burning fire inside me telling me that this is no good, that i should be outside seeing the world, growing, experiencing new thing's everyday, just as i intended it to be.. yet i'm here, another day gone, and i'm STILL here.. What should i do? Start meditating again?.. Seem's like the best thing to do, but i would have to go about it diffrently.. i won't give up, nothing worthwhile come's easy.. i just don't know what to do anymore is all, i'm scared and feel belittled by the world, all i want to do is be happy, find a girl i can love and share my life with again.. i know that if i do that i'll be just fine. I have friend's but, i make no effort to create lasting relationship's, even though those relationship's are what i cherish most.. If i could have my way, i'd be stoned all day, and never worry about these things. I feel obliged to do thing's i do not want to do, like find a job, work on my nursing career, thing's society has forced upon me at the expense of my freedom. Seem's like i cannot do a damn thing without money, i'm poor, and without money i'm nothing. i can do nothing. I decided to put this here because one thing i know is that keeping feeling's inside goes against a most fundamental human condition. Opening up to other people is nature, and god can i breathe now, if i could cry i would, that also help's a ton, the tear's clear my mind and put everything in perspective. Have a wonderful day guys, be good to your fellow man.. love and be loved, how important that is.. Cheer up roe.
You should get a job or job training. I'm a fan of practical answers. You're unhappy because you don't have focus. My recommendation is look into welding or CNA work. Both pay decently. The government will help pay for training, and the time to train is minimal. Save your money. Get your own place. Getting a CNA license is a great start if you want to be a nurse.
It's quite astonishing how the universe work's. One day your in a pitt, the next life is as sweet as a peach. I took your advice and will be going in today to talk to an advisor about CNA training. The school im going to offer's financial aid and i'll talk to my dad about chiming in for the rest. Thank you for the reply.. you cought it right away, i lack focus! brilliant! It's time for me to grow into my shoes and take charge again, just like i had always planned it to be. Thank you thank you thank you 1000 thank you's. I'll be sure to let you know how this turn's out a month or two from now.
