I don't know what's wrong with me.

Okay so before I explain to you what I don't know what is wrong with me, I will tell you what I do know. I have severe depression, I'm suicidal, I cut, I'm bipolor, I have ADHD and I get headaches all the time. I also have really bad scoliosis but that has nothing to do with my brain like most the others.

So anyways, EVERYTHING bothers me. Literally everything. Every noise and every movement bothers me. Noises such as chewing gum, eating chips, tapping fingers or a writing utensil on a desk, singing, sniffling and feet dragging on the floor as someone walks. When I am trying to listen to music, talk on the phone, or watch TV and I can hear someone else talking, listening to music, or watching TV, I cannot handle it. Some examples of movements that bother me are when people are sitting down and they repeatedly move their leg or feet, I can't stand watching someone bite their nails and even flashy pop-up adds on my laptop annoy me. And all of those are just some examples and they bother me to the greatest extent, I'm not just a little annoyed by them. I am so annoyed that sometimes in class all I can do to keep from killing everyone is lay my head on my desk, close my eyes and plug my ears. But I can't always do that. I am increasingly getting more and more bothered by everything. I used to be able to deal with it but I can't anymore. It's getting to the point where I want to kill myself so badly because I cannot live the rest of my life like this, it is so unbearable.

I have gone to three different psychiatrists and none of them have a clue what is wrong with me. I was just wondering if any of you have ever known anyone who was like this or know if there is a word for it or anything.

 

I really recommend this book, http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Stress-Reduction-2nd-Ed/dp/1587610914"]Guide to Stress Reduction

It was first printed in the 80s and has been popular ever since, and there are used copies on Amazon for under a dollar.

It teaches a lot about stress and chronic stress and gives some really great relaxation techniques, diet tips, etc.

It has really helped me calm down a lot, and a lot of it is as simple as doing some breathing exercises.

Could you tell me anything about how your troubles started?

 

I'm not really completely sure how they started. But they started a couple years ago, probably around 7th or 8th grade when I started public school. Before that I was homeschooled. That was also the time when my parents separated, my oldest sister moved out, my best friend and I became not very close at all and I didn't really have any friends. But I dont' really think that there was any one thing that started it. I am continuously getting more stressed/depressed though.

I forgot to mention I also have anxiety.

 

I get annoyed fairly easily myself, I have a couple of tricks for getting rid of stress and anxiety;

Deep breathing. Breathe slowly and concentrate all of your thoughts on your breathing, how deep you breathe, how fast you breath etc. You need to force out all other thoughts, and just concentrate on breathing. A couple of minutes should be good.

The other is exercise. It doesn't matter what kind, just a physical activity that distracts you.

This will be good for temporary relief anyways.

Stress and anxiety are caused by being in a situation or condition that you don't want to be in and having no control over. If you know what's causing you the stress, you can find a way to resolve the issue permanently.

 

cannabis

 

Cannabis causes anxiety in some people. I gave it up over that.

 

Actually, when I'm high I am not near as easily annoyed as when I'm sober. The only problem with that is, I don't like going to school high 'cause I don't do as well with my schoolwork and I'm trying to keep A's and B's.

 

I like you lalalaspider :drummer::guitarist:unk::smash:

 

Thank you for the tips.

 

Why is that, Orison?

 

Mentaly healthy fif to find out that women hate you. She had an idea about the geogrphical menaing of a bad economy.

 

are you taking any medications now? meds might be a good idea for you. hopefully you can find a psychiatrist that can help you

www.befrienders.org has a list of suicide hotlines

www.suicideforum.com has on-line support for suicide and related issues

chinese herbal medicine and acupuncture might be good for you.

meditation, exercise, and dietary changes might help you

the auditory sensitivity you are experiencing sounds similar to autism to me

wearing ear plugs or noise reduction earmuffs might help you

I know that they have special earmuffs for hunters that amplify low decibel sounds and screen out others. I suppose that in principle you could get earmuffs modified so that low decibel sounds would be filtered out, but mid-range sounds would not be blocked

there's more that I might recommend, but this is a good start

hope things get better soon!

 

moderate marijuana use by healthy people is not a big problem, I think, but imho, for someone who has serious mental health issues it's a bad idea

 

You must feel very sad going through all of that. A few things that should help additionally:

1. Regular cardiovascular exercise for thirty minutes, four days a week. Try running or biking.

2. Get at least nine to ten hours of sleep most nights.

3. Take some "you" time to relax, specifically. Watch cartoons, read a book, whatever you find enjoyable, even if it isn't "cool" for a tenth grader.

4. Do what you're doing. Talk about it when you do feel bad. Use hotlines. They really do help.

You're a special and worthwhile human being, and you deserve to feel better.

 

Thank you everyone for the advice! It was all very helpful.

e7m8, I am on three different meds. They are all anti-depressants. I can't remember what they are all for but one is for migraines.

I went on the suicide forums and posted this same thread and someone suggested that I might have Hyperacusis so I looked it up on Wikipedia, consulted with my mom (who is a counselor), and I'm sure that's what I have.

 

Creedlespeek, thank you very much for all the advice. And saying that I am a special and worthwhile human being. It means a lot.