trying to read her signs and body language....

I would TOTALLY kiss that cheek before I'd go anywhere near that mouth.

 

Hi everyone looking for a bit more advice, sorry to be a pain....

Well i think i am really starting to fall for this girl, basically the last few nights i have been having trouble going to sleep and stay awake to think about her, pathetic i know.

Im worried as i feel like i have lost control of my emotions and will say something stupid.

Currently im thinking of buying her a gift, something like a teddy bear with a love heart that says "your special" or along those lines.
Im also thinking of telling her i really like her and perhaps want to be her boyfried on the next date when the chance arises that is.

Do you think i will be coming on to hard or sounding desperate/clingy? I dont want to give that impression but i think i really like this girl. As stupid as this sounds i just want to call her and tell her that i really like her

 

"Well i think i am really starting to fall for this girl, basically the last few nights i have been having trouble going to sleep and stay awake to think about her, pathetic i know."
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I know this sounds mean, but you need to grow up. "Falling" means you're helpless, and what you need to be is intelligent, alert, and fun. OK, if that's where you're at right now-- lost all control, 7/24 mindset, all that -- I suggest you playfully tell her your obsessing and you need help getting away from that. Ask her to fart in your face or promote a pimple. LOL. As somebody said earlier, obsessing is annoying.

Be an adult. Tell her she looks beautiful in small ways, and give her small gifts. A smile or an appreciative look will go farther than teddy bears and clingy behavior.

Hate to say it, but you might simply need to fumble through this, screw up your chances (and friendship), and learn by studying the debris trail afterward. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but I recall those days, somewhat sadly, and recognize the signs.

 

Welcome back, lol.

By the way I'm dead serious about the following, just so you know. The link below leads to another thread on this "Relationship" forum. The OP of this thread has posted a YouTube video.

Please watch it. The answers to your questions may be found in the video.

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=425015&f=65

All the best.

 

Ok maybe this guy sounds a bit obsessive or needs to grow up a bit, but in general "falling" for someone doesnt mean you're helpless!! Falling for someone - lust, a crush, love - can produce wonderful feelings, feelings you never felt before, and if you havent felt them before they can be scary, and exciting and drive you crazy all at the same time! But that doesnt make it negative!

 

Thanks guys, i think i probably needed the wake up call.

I suppose to my defense, my parents come from italy and also france, and from what i can see people from those countries are a bit more up front,open and emotional in their relationships then say people from america or australia (were i am now). I guess its in my blood to be a bit too upfront and cheesy . Also the way my family operated was that the woman was always protected and looked after, basically the daughter and wife were treated like princesses. Perhaps its a mindset i need to erase from me.

Anyway i have decided not to buy this girl the teddy bear or some sort of romantic gift as it may look to obsessive or clingy.

By the looks and sounds of things if the date this weekend goes ahead were both going to get pretty drunk, im a bit worried im going to say something stupid from the alcohol lol

It will be the third date we are going to have, i got the impression on the third date you tell the girl that you have feelings for her and go for the big romantic kiss but i guess that only happens in hollywood lol So i guess my question is when do i tell a girl that i like her and have feelings? I think the problem for me here is that i think that there is a "time limit" with this girl and if i keep stalling or take things to slow she will loose interest in me or find some one else, or the opposite is if i go to fast i will appear too clingy and obsessive and scare her away. Decisions, decisions....

But truthfully, i think i really like this person and have this inner urge to tell her this, this is not because of motivations or "dating-tactic", its just something i feel strong about and i was never good at bottling up emotions for too long. What do i do about this feeling?

 

Actually f_ck it, im going to just play it cool now. It worked for me in the past so why not now. All im doing now is making my self go crazy.

I dont give a shit anymore, what ever happens happens.

 

btw you don't buy a teddy bear for a girl.

you have to win it at a carnival game or it doesn't count.

 

Hey bit more progress in the last date.....

The original plan of going to the winary was canceled because the girl is bit of a fitness fanatic and is trying to be a bit healthy these days, basically didnt want to get trashed.

I then decided to go a really fancy restaurant and then catch a movie afterwards.

The girl came to my place picked me up and we went for dinner. Dinner was great, we really connected. To basically explain it every thing went amazing that night. She also loved the night as well. We drank wine, and talked from funny topics to serious topics. She told me she wants a serious partner and is looking for one....

I took all of your advise and only told her she looked great when i first met her

We decided to catch a movie afterwords together, and that was great as well. We would chat all through out the movie.

Everything went great up until she dropped me off home, we hugged and i kissed her on the cheek. After talking for a while i asked if i could hug and kiss her again, and basically it was a hug and kiss on the cheek again. This time after the hug i still had my arm around her and was kind of playing with her hair.... i basically didnt have the guts to kiss her...... I think i got to nervous and just chickened out

As always i told her to text me when she got home, after that i tried calling her because i wanted to tell her i liked her and wanted to kiss her. She didnt pick up the phone because she was driving i guess. Got a text from her saying she got home safely and she thanked me for another fantastic night and to have a good sleep.

I texted asking her if she can call me, she did call me back, and even then i didnt have the courage to talk to her about it. When talking to her on the phone i kind of mumbled and made a mess of it, and then just said i wanted to know if you were ok and to have a good night. Hopefully i didnt weird her out or anything...

Im to nervous to do anything because she is so timid and shy, and i am also shy.

So im thinking next if there is another date, i might just actually tell her that i like her and ask her if i can kiss her on the lips

There were a lot of postives through out the night though, actually the hole night was a huge postive and i think the signs are good. I forgot to mention while in the car when she was driving me to the movies, she mentioned that she trusts me and feels like she can tell me anything........ im guessing im in the friend zone right...... When she told me that we cant meet up next week because her friends and her were going on a trip i said that it might mean that she could come back and not be single, and she said that she will be coming back single, so yeah i dunno i guess there is some hope for me.

So yeah, i feel if i dont make a strong move soon she will think i just want to be friends with her....and to overcome my shyness and lack of courage im just going to tell her that i really like her and want to kiss her on the lips (when the right moment arises).

 

Thanks for the update. Again, you're obsessing on what you're planning to do (your "moves" and the consequences) which is NOT the way healthy relationships should work. This is not to say that you can't tell her what's on your mind, even if it's that you'd like to have intimacy in your life, perhaps with her. Spontaneous conversations and interaction will be sooooooo much more rewarding. Give up the planning. Just BE together!

So, how does a young man who tends to be obsessive (we've seen you go from one extreme to the other and back during this thread) go about changing the way you think? As someone who spent years doing the same thing, I can suggest that you need to take a "what the hell?" mindset, saying to yourself that you really don't care about being rejected, and simply say what's on your mind. Most women are attracted to confident men who have an inner confidence. Find a way to feel good about yourself -- buy a new outfit, get a really great haircut, put a ton of money in your pocket -- and live your life. If this girl doesn't respond to who you really are, you're wasting your time anyway.

 

Thanks for the response and advice, i appreciate it.....

I think i will just do it, i will just tell her that i like her and want to kiss her on the lips (at the right moment that is). Perhaps it may seem geeky or not very romantic, but im going to do it. I think it will be the only way for me to over come my shyness and nervousness.

I feel that i really impress this girl when we are having fun and i am being myself. I am not player or smooth operator but just a honest nice guy. Perhaps she will appreciate my honesty when i tell her that i really like her and would like to kiss her on the lips.

 

DO NOT ASK HER IF YOU CAN KISS HER!!!!!!!!!! Just do it! Seriously dude, you sound like a girl. She will not appreciate it if you ask her if you can kiss her on the lips. That is the dumbest thing I think I have ever heard. If you do not make a move you will blow it. Stop acting like a scared little girl and make a move. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

on one hand, i agree completely.

on the other hand, this thread is old enough that whatever was going to happen already happened, or else nothing was going to happen.

to be fair, i have seen someone pull off the "may i kiss you" with success. but it was with kind of a weird girl, so i dunno.

 

Hi everyone, just a little update (yeah i know i am getting annoying)

Ok the girl went out of town with a group of friends (both male and female) for the easter week end.

On her second day of the trip she sent me text asking how my long weekend was going and i had any plans. We sent a few texts back and forward. Her final response was that she would get back to me in regards to our next "meet up".

Come easter day i sent her a text wishing her a happy easter, and also said i was sending her "hugs and kisses". She responded back saying thanks for the wishes and wished me a happy easter, with the message ending with xxx (three kisses).

So im thinking the signs are VERY good right now.

However i tried calling her today in the afternoon to confirm if she wants to go out with me on a date for dinner at a restaurant, off to a amusement park/video game place thing and then for a movie. But alas she has not answered the phone. I did not leave a voice message, as i wanted to ask her in person. It will be soon 12 hours since i called, i am a bit confused on why she hasnt called back...

Im not going to be a weirdo and keep calling her and texting her until she responds, but im starting to get annoyed with all of these "games" and being "tested" by her in regards to text and phone responses. Why cant we organize something like adults?

Im going to wait until thursday night (say another 24 hours) and try call her again, if she doesn't answer i might just send her text if she wants to come out friday and give her the details. Im only going to do that because i made reservations and dont want to get "black listed" by the restaurant by not appearing at the arranged time for the reserved table. I believe for this restaraunt you need to give some notice if you cannot make it. Basically i want to give her a reasonable amount of time in advance about what is happening...


Anyway, if the date goes ahead i have decided when the time is right i will tell her that i really like her and WANT to kiss her(Notice i am not asking her for her permision but saying i want to). Perhaps the dating guru's and the online articles about dating disagree with this, but i dont care anymore. I just want to get this over and done with, and if she doesn't like it who cares im moving on. I dont care anymore and am sick of games.

I have spoken to some female friends and they think it might be "cute" and "innocent" and that there is no real problem with that, so i dunno hopefully it goes well......

Im hoping i haven't blown my chances because i didnt make a move

 

Take Jharin's advice . Do not ask. Just do. Man,I never saw anyone worry and plan so much as you ,over such a simple situation. Is there any spontaneity in your life? Take life as it comes and remember--you have a set of plums. Use 'em.

 

Ditto. See, if you plan how the conversation will go, it's not a conversation, it's a script. If that's what you're about, write a book.

 

If someone told me they want to kiss me I would feel awkward, not knowing what to say or do, but I often feel awkward anyway lol, so that's just me.

I think, it should happen naturally. You should take her to a bar, a club or dunno to a picnic? lol where you could be close to each other, dancing or just standing there, while sharing drinks and talking (if it's a bar). The noise would force both of you to come closer to each other, the drinks would help to let loose and at some point, when you are talking into her ear, your faces will touch and your lips will meet

 

I think she still has a crush on her ex boyfriend and that it's to early for you to make a move... And I also think that you are to much, I mean, you are trying to much... You seem like a very good guy, maybe to good for her. Let her go and find someone new!

 

I think he is in love, that's why he is acting so crazy =)

 

I don't think she is making games, I think she is just not that into you. And why is because you are too aggressive when it comes to your moves/flirting.