Their might be something wrong with me...

Hello!
Okay the title is a little weird.I have a lot of problems to discuss so this might be allover the place but bear with me here.
I am a 16 year old junior who lives in hick country. I have faced a lot of criticism for being different all of my life and where I currently live too.Unfortunately there are not a lot of homosexuals in my community that I can comfortably and maturely talk to about exactly what I'm going through right now. I figure the hundreds of people that are on this forum probably can help me in some way.
So here it goes:
I'm not sure if I'm lesbian. I know I know you have probably heard this a million times but This is not my main point in the story . I am only telling you this to give you more information that will shed light on my situation. (I will welcome any advice on this topic though). I have an attraction to girls bit I also have an attraction for males. I have not dated any girls except for a few (literally a few). I have been receiving a lot of attention from guys when I got into high school. By attention I mean ...er sexual attention. A lot of it is negative (for example this guy said to me that If I am lesbian he is gonna gay bash me but If I am bi I would be alright in his book. I know horrible) I wanted to try out guys but when it came down to the real thing I ended up being disgusted.
Also most of the girls around where I live have long hair and wear tons of makeup . I have boyishly short hair and the only makeup I wear is black eyeliner.So I have been teased by other girls for being a dyke (Strangely enough I get teased when I do wear makeup)
even though I am more girlie than butch (Also I am a hippie and I don't shave and once the girls found that out that just added more attention to the whole dyke thing) Anyways I have tried to talk to people about my attraction to girls but when I told them (I use "them" but I mean one person) I became totally out of the closet even though I was never really sure I was in there in the first place. SO now I receive unwanted attention form both genders for being a lesbian.
I want to tell people that they are wrong about me but they won't listen. And also like I mentioned before I been teased all of my life for everything (From wearing glasses, to being "ugly" etc.)I'm not really great when it comes to bullies .And I don't respond well to teasing. I don't really know how to get these people to leave me alone.
Also because of the whole dyke rumor I have had a lot of girls come ask me out. One of which I have entered into a relationship ..I don't even know why. I have been in a "relationship with her for about ...a year. I don't know why we are "dating" I mean I like her and all as a friend but I feel no sexual attraction to her anymore. I don't want to break up because she's really nice, I don't want to hurt her and I still want to be freinds. (I have never been freinds with any of my exes. I think the relationship could be ruined after reaching a certain point of intimacy) I have cheated on her many times and I feel bad about it (I really do). I don't want this to continue on.
Also on another note (not part of the story but more background information) I am very self destructive. Not in the sit in the corner and cut myself way but more in the sense that I put myself in situations where I feel uncomfortable and I take alot of drugs and stuff. And (And this is the first time I told ANYONE this) I was sexually.... um engaged? as a child. Not by my parents or any adults but by a girl a few boys when I was little. (Also my mother explained in great detail what sex is and what it feels like when I was only 7) The girl kept talking about sex (even though we were all in 2nd grade) and kept doing things to me like pressuring me to make out and to feel her up and thing like that. (She also felt me up)
I dunno really i dunno. But everyone in my life (my teacher, my "doctors", my classmates) has told me that their is something wrong with me for thinking the way I do. For even thinking about girls the way I do. I start to believe it after a while y' know? I know that his is all over the place (and really long) but if anyone could help that would be great.

 

1. Kick the drug habit.
2. You sound depressed and are trying to self-medicate. It isn't going to help your moods, comfortability, or stress level. You need to see a psychiatrist who can help you with your mental stability.
3. As hard as it may seem, you only have two years before you graduate from high school and you can escape from that town. Move to a larger city and meet other lesbians/bisexuals and more people who are comfortable with being gay.
4. The people who are teasing you, turn the other cheek. The more you ignore them, the more you won't believe what they say, and the more comfortable you will be with who you are. Do not be ashamed for the way you look, dress, act, nor your sexuality.
5. It is perfectly natural to question your sexuality, don't think you are the only one.

See a psychiatrist and possibly start therapy.. it will help you in the long run!