My ex broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. He went a couple of days without talking to me and then we started talking again...he came over and we had a nice time plus sex...but he insisted that he just wanted to be friends and still hang out because the relationship was too stressful...when he left i decided that i couldnt do that so i sent him a message on facebook telling him that if he wanted to see if we could work things out then to come over and if not then i was going to move on. He didnt show up but later that week on Friday he contacted me and ended up coming over, stilll he would not commit to a relationship...sooo i did the friend thing for like a day...but after thinking about it too much i decided to start distancing myself..ignoring him/ plus i said no to him when he wanted to come over...after a couple of days of this..he said something to me on facebook which i ignored..and then said "deleted." and took me off his friends list...i didnt respond to that and i havent made contact with him since...i honestly believed that he would come back to me after not communicating for a while but now its been almost a week...i sent him a text today saying "happy easter" and he responded with "dont text me" i gave him an excuse that i had sent the text out to all of my contacts and that i would delete his number we broke up because i was too jealous and would get angry at him for things that i now realize were stupid... :/
well i only know what you've relayed although i think that whether or not he comes back to you will depend on what you do now.. have you aknowledged/admitted that last sentence to him? does he know that you admit you were being over-jealous? if not perhaps letting him know that would be a start. if you love him and value the relationship i say don't hold back or wait for him to act. because he may not.
sounds like it could be too late I guess you could write a letter, call, something, apologizing for being too jealous do you think you could learn to not be so jealous now? maybe you could be friends and then think about getting back together if it doesn't work out, guess you just have to move on hope it all works out!
im too scared to be rejected...i think i need to just start moving on...it was obvious when he told me not to text him that that is what he is doing now...
your fear of being rejected outweighs your love and want/need for him? you just answered your own question hun.
I think you need to have your priorities straight personally, I think that you should just write him a letter. apologize. suggest that maybe you could be friends again, that you will try not to be jealous, and that you would like to get back together with him eventually. and if he doesn't want to see you, you understand and hope that he will be happy if he doesn't write back, then at least you have expressed yourself. you won't have to look back and wonder what if because you will have done everything that you could to fix things learning not to be dominated by fear is a good thing. and if things don't work out, I think that writing the letter will help you move on it could be that he will try to contact you on his own, but it's not sounding like it that's just my 2 cents
thats true but i tried sooo hard when we first broke up to fight it and he was very serious about breaking up...but i saw glimmers of hope in the fact that he didnt want to cut contact..in my head i realized that the only way he would want to be in a relationship was if i was to cut contact and not give him what he wanted which was- to keep things the same way but without the additional stress/effort of a relationship....if i keep trying to get back together with him i think its going to push him away...i am going to hope in my heart that if i give him the space he needs he will eventually come back and if he doesnt then i guess it just wasnt meant to be(hurts a lot though)
It's probably best to just move on. If he wanted to stay in touch, he probably would have, if not, he's keeping you out for a reason. Give him his space and DON'T put your life on hold for him. If he's going to come back, he will, if not, he won't. The very most you should do is follow e7m8's advice and express yourself once and leave it at that. Life is too short and there are too many people in the world to waste your life pining after one guy you've already been with. And don't sleep with him again until you do get back together, you're just letting him use you otherwise.
Time to move on. Him breaking up with you may have been your fault but from everything you've said that happened since doesn't appear like he has much interest anymore. Save yourself the stress, questions and time. Sounds like the break up would have happened eventually anyway. Find someone better and hopefully you learned something.
yep i think youre right....its really hitting me today but atleast ive pretty much lost that last bit of hope i was holding on to....sooo now i can officially move on
if what you meant by stupid jealousy is that you complained when he cheated with other girls, sounds like you don't have anything to apologize for
haha no thats my best friend he told me about this forum..hes normally a lurker but made a username specifically so he could post in this thread but anyways theres an update..he texted me today with "i miss you"...not sure where this is heading :/
I thought you were moving on? I thought you agreed with me? Do yourself a favor and stop talking to this guy. Your hearts probably telling you different but it's only gonna get itself repeatedly broken. Don't make the same mistakes so many other girls do. If he's texting you at this point he only wants sex. Move on!
we only went a couple of days without talking completely..and i wont give him sex unless he is in a relationship with me...so if its true that he only wants sex then im sure i will find out
Sometimes things get broken to a point where you can't go back. It may sound callous and unromantic, but it's usually best to just move on. In my experience, a random "I miss you" text doesn't often come with any real weight, and it usually has more to do with that person feeling lonely or down and reaching out to someone they think will make it better. And anyhow, it doesn't sound like you two are looking for the same thing, and while he might get what he wants in the moment from you - it's probably at the cost of you feeling hurt, because you sound like you want more than just a moment.
