Hi, I am Dave, just recently joined this forum. I work in a large company as a head of service, my girlfriend (Princess) works in another department. There is a girl who works near to where princess' office was before she moved. This girl had a previous boyfriend who was an alcoholic and she claimed he stalked her and threatened her, Princess knows the story and this wasn't the case, this bloke got put away for allegedly committing these crimes. Princess told me the full story, but what I haven't told Princess is that this girl seems very friendly with me. I do not want to sound paranoid but as she is passing every given opportunity and stopping to talk in my office, I suspect she has a soft spot for me, however she knows I am serious with Princess. Just lately this girl has become quite suggestive and even made a comment about me going into the gents and how sexy it was to hear me peeing. I found this creepy and told her politely to back off. She has suggested lunch or a drink but I have just talked about Princess to try and put her off. Now Princess has moved offices and is not in our building I am concerned this girl will start stalking and causing trouble. I don't want to cause too much fuss in case I am wrong. Anyone else had a similar issue, how should I tackle this. Princess would probably have a go at her if she knew, I don't want Princess to get upset as she has had a lot of other problems lately and I don't want to add to it. Dave
sounds like tro(ub)ll(e) let your boss know that this girl is trouble also let your gf know you don't have to give either of them the full story, just enough to immunize you from any trouble she may cause.
I have been logging emails, she has also been sending sexy text messages (my mobile number is listed in our internal directory). She sent me a photo of her in underwear. She also has started wearing very low cut tops and leans forward to talk at my desk, I'm finding it hard not to look and I can't help getting slightly aroused by this, had to go in the gents for a while and she heard me peeing, commented in a loud voice that I was a long time which embarrassed me. I think she knew I was aroused.
You were in there wanking, weren't you? Seriously, what's your problem, she's obviously into you, but I'd hardly call this type of behaviour stalking. Are you some kind of milksop? A skimmed milksop at that?
keep hard copies of everything she sends you; when you have an inch or so tall stack of suggestive stuff, take it to someone you trust in upper management....and do not talk with her, nor ESPECIALLY send anything in writing back. otherwise, you're bs'ing us, and like the attention.
Dave , there is no reason to tell your girlfriend or your boss or h.r. anything . Why get any of them involved ? If you REALLY have no interest in this woman and her flirting . Then you need to level with her and be frank about it. Tell her you have no sexual interest in her and that it's inappropriate in the work setting for her to keep make sexual comments , suggestions and sending you sexual pictures . Tell her your flattered but that it really needs to stop . However YOU need to stop sending her mixed messages like looking down her shirt . Letting her know you're sexual aroused and playing the coy flirting game with her . If you're really not interested in her advances , make it clear to her . And she will most likely disengage from the activity . If not THEN pursue the next level with h.r. or your boss .However I suspect that on some level you are encouraging this activity to continue . On some level I wonder if you like the attention she is giving you and the power and ego boost you're getting from playing no means yes mixed signal games with her . In any event I don't think it warrants getting others involved at this point . Once you have been absolutely clear to her blunt and to the point , and if she doesn't stop , then yeah take it to the next level .
the bit about her allegedly innocent ex allegedly getting prosecuted for stalking being sued/ fired for sexual harassment is possible
Thank you to all who have given feedback, I'm not on here just for attention, it seemed a nice place to have discussions. I will make it clear to this person before it gets out of hand. Thanks.
is your girlfriend the one that walks around with a crown every fucking day? i have a girl like that in my class.
i DID forget to put in, when i had a situation like this, i saved emails, contact, etc; after i had a good sized stack, i told the woman what i was going to do with it. only tell her once, and be clear. i was in a truncated mood first post. still so... did i miss the mixed message part? listen to 'cruel to be kind'-likely it's on youtube. applies. communication is best done blunt. saves effort and trouble.
